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My Glass Menagerie

Poem By: tin2twinkling
Poetry


alice's challenge... my level chosen: 10.

subject: a glass menagerie
setting: in a puddle of water
my words:
1) toxic
2) tickle-me-pink
3) geisha
4) beetle
5) bloodcurdling
6) ominous

..metaphors are all over the place..
..allusions used:
- Hephaestus (the cripple, limp smith god)
- Lucifer (dual meaning: 'lucifer' word means 'lightbringer' but also refers to the name of the fallen angel according to the Bible)
- apple offered by the snake (again, self explanatory)

it was an excellent challenge, in my opinion =) View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jun 20, 2008    Reads: 117    Comments: 22    Likes: 10   



Sweet yet toxic, addicting to my eyes,
The glinting of your smooth bodies
Perfect and translucent,
You are my breath

A fox, a horse, a deer stiffens
In romantic poses, in gay colours:
Blues, yellows and rubies that tickle me
Pink as they are reflected from within
This puddle of water that clears
Only in the halt of breathing
Where my glass menagerie
Begins to smile, talk and wink

Sweet yet toxic, addicting to my eyes,
The glinting of your smooth bodies
Perfect and translucent,
You are my heartbeat

A swan, a dove, a nightingale
Spreads out their wings in midflight,
Trying to escape ominous harbingers
While they are held underwater
Which prevents their freedom
And yet they can move from within,
Ignoring my stares and refusing to hop
Or chirp for their earnest caretaker

Sweet yet toxic, addicting to my eyes,
The glinting of your smooth bodies
Perfect and translucent,
You are my heartbeat

There sits upon the brink of breaking,
The only beetle kissing the ground,
With tiny brittle sticks for legs,
The Hephaestus of them all;
Its cries drowned out by silent waves,
Its face that of a somber geisha
Hidden beneath an armour mask
A bloodcurdling plea clear in its eyes

Sweet yet toxic, addicting to my eyes,
The glinting of your smooth bodies
Perfect and translucent,
You are my breath

There, just opposite, the snakes slithers
Offering an apple for friendship,
A stubborn refusal that caused more
Havoc within my glass menagerie;
The land of perfection and imperfection,
My light-bringers, my own Lucifers,
They twinkle slyly vying for my attention
And yet haughtiness is what I see.

Sweet yet toxic, addicting to my eyes,
The glinting of your smooth bodies
Perfect and translucent,
You are my breath

Even in the shallow waters, only the beetle
Cries, desperate to look up at the face
Of the one who polished its chipped back,
To say thanks? To plead for death?
I can hear it, I can feel its pain,
In my hands I hold the power
To silence it forever or to forever stare
At it to stare at myself.

Sweet yet toxic, addicting to my eyes,
The glinting of your smooth bodies
Perfect and translucent,
You are my heartbeat


10

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Comments:

0_0

WOW!
i think this is one of the best poems i've read on booksie... i'm not lying or exaggerating or anything of the sort. this is breathtaking!
the whole things was extremely beautiful and i absolutely LOVE the allusions you chose ^^ you not only included one, but 3! you went above and beyond! metaphors were lovely ^^ the whole poem had a very smooth, and delicate flow to it, curving nicely - like a glass menagerie ;-)
fabulous poem - and one that i will always remember and continue to read ^^ i hope you invite many people to read this poem because this is a gem!

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

i have to thank you for giving me just the right words & especially the subject that it came out like that.. i am so happy with the outcome as well, it is now one of my favourite poems.. so thanks again!!!! you made me feel so giddy when you said this is one of the best that you've read =) i honestly thought i wouldn't be able to make it come out as it has.. a million thanks, alice!!!

i honestly didn't get it sorry =PP ill go check out something else u wrote =]

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

that's okay, thank you for reading!! =)

Haunting. Very chant like, and ryhthmic.
Gave it an "I like it" if only wishing that I could give it an "I love it"
Justine

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you so much!!! i'm so glad you appreciate it =) thank you, thank you!! =)

Sweet yet toxic, addicting to my eyes,
The glinting of your smooth bodies
Perfect and translucent,
You are my heartbeat



LOVELY POEM TIN TIN....INDEED BRILLIANT.....

Sweet YET TOXIC...

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you so much pratibha!!!!! you're very kind with your comments!! thank you for reading =)

Hmmm, You must be an expert. The challenge was posted up just yesterday and you posted yours today, i must say, you are very great! Loved the poem too. Way to go on the challenge!

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you for the compliment!! i just came across the challenge earlier today =) thank you again for taking the time to read it and comment!! i really appreciate it =)

Amazing, it was so creative of you. I loved, one of the most amazing and brilliantly written poems I have ever read. I agree with Alice 100%

~DarkFairy~

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you so much, DarkFairy8907!! i'm so glad you love it =) thank you!!

WOW this is long but i love it. it is really good

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you so much!!! i'm really happy that you love it =)

wow, now that is a VERY interesting poem, my friend! I could just imagine all of the glass animals sitting on their shelf staring back at you. Maybe they don't do anything; but you imagine them living inside their glass cages. Bravo!

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you, thank you!! this poem is all that and more; they reflect life, they even mock our imperfect life and yet staring at them is all we can do.. thank you so much for the lovely comment =)

this is really good...i'm so jealous ;P

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you!! i'm sure you can make an excellent poem too so keep writing too!! =)

Wow, very, very good poem. The imagery is just astounding with the way you described them. The beetle and the snake especially. This is one of the few times where the poem moves me not because of the message but the way it was composed...again, awesome poem.

I'm not big into the repetition of the middle stanza though, it tends to make me just skip the paragraph and miss the effect you were trying to create. I know this is purely of opinion but I'm just letting you know and hopefully it may be helpful to you in the future!

That was awesome and goes on my reading list :) Keep up the good work

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Author Comment:

i am slightly still not sure whether i want to change or even remove the repetitive stanzas (but your opinion is definitely taken into consideration) because i put it in to give the feeling of obsessiveness, which then points the obsession towards the glass figures with which the speaker finds so ..enthrallingly(?) perfect.. i was thinking i could just put it in the first and last lines but.. i'll think about it.. thank you for such a lovely and helpful comment!! =)

hi! t2t. an intense and interesting poem. loved it. ;-)

Posted: Jun 21, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks a lot!! so glad you loved it =)

Amazing poem! Great job!

Posted: Jun 22, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks!! =)

Didn't get it initially, but finally did...and it is amazingly beautiful. A lovely piece.

Posted: Jun 23, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you so much!!

very good one indeed,looking to read more of you writing....

Posted: Jun 23, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks so much, corujuca!! i appreciate it =)

i must say that i think the poem is as beautiful and elegant as a glass figure itself ^^-
tell me when more is up please :]

Posted: Jun 23, 2008

Author Comment:

such a wonderful and sweet comment... thank you so much!! =)

wow, this is a very beautiful poem, the language is so delicate like the fragility of the glass objects, or as the first stanza suggests, the fragility of the writer seeing themselves through the objects. This poem reminds me of John Keats Ode to a Grecian Urn which contrasts the beauty and perfection of the urn with the pain and suffering of life. I get that feeling from your poem; the contrast of perfection in the objects reflecting the imperfection of life. Beautifully written!!

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you so much!! you've been able to get a lot from this poem, which really makes me happy because not most people see it the way you do.. thanks for reading!! =)

seriously this is very well-written! i had to read it several times to capture its meaning, i mean, i understand it but i just can't find a way to say what i want to say. this is too good, deep and intense, so full of imagery, beautifull, wonderful, breathtaking... when i read it, i was brought to think of the beauty in this world, physically and materially, and the evil hiding behind all these beauty. don't mind me, i've this habit of understanding things quite differently. once again great poem!!

Posted: Jun 27, 2008

Author Comment:

you've got excellent insight if you managed to get all those things from this piece.. i was hoping a lot more could do so as well.. thanks for reading and the wonderful comment =)

this poem has such great discription. I love this poem!

Posted: Jun 27, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you so much! so glad you loved it =)

This poem is simply breathtaking to say the least.
You are an incredible writer my dear. The best part in my opinion is that you really give the reader a visual image through the writing. It's simply astounding how well you put words together like that. The words all just flowed so nicely it felt almost magical in a way to read; if that makes sense at all?
My only question is: Why aren't you a published author!?

Posted: Jun 29, 2008

Author Comment:

kimberly, you just made my day with this comment of yours.. haha, that is the first time someone has asked me that. i feel so cool haha. thanks a million for the kind & lovely comment =)

simply wonderful.
this poem was brilliant
:]

Posted: Jun 30, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you!!!

god i am reading that play for school... jesus christ its freaky. But your poem is very good. I like the way you always go back to the glass statues. Good Job!

Posted: Sep 3, 2008

Author Comment:

hahaha i've read it as well in high school; i found it kinda sad though.. thanks for reading my poem though!! =)

This is one of the most beautiful poems I've ever read. Fantastic job!

Posted: Oct 20, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you =)



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Other writing by tin2twinkling Dreaming* Aurora: Memoirs of a Vampire The Island of The Icarus The Step Sisters White Socks More..



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