Chanel's not so Sweet Smell
The Fashion House founder, Coco Chanel
Was a society beauty, we know it well.
During the second world war she shirked,
Away from French boys with Nazis to flirt.
German officers of the highest class
Would raise their brimming champagne glass
To her as she was very warm,
Only too happy for them to stay till dawn
In her luxury hotel Ritz
In the centre of Paris glitz.
She was almost the perfect spy
But did get discovered by and by,
But as their was no proof or papers
About her little Nazi capers,
She got away with it scot free
Only losing a little popularity.
She had to go to away unplanned
To pleasant neutral Switzerland
As after the war it was a bit unsafe
For her to be seen about the place,
But a few years later she came back
To Paris, to the Ritz hotel, in fact,
Where she lived out her many days
Unmarried but enjoying life's ways.
She founded Chanel after the war
But nowadays we seem to have forgotten
That this sweet smelling lady was actually quite rotten.
Chanel No. 5 perfume
Which makes the richest celebrities swoon
Still carries, if you smell it carefully,
Not quite that odour of sanctity
Just a soupcon of dishonesty,
Although you may prefer to disagree.
The lingering fragrance of "espionne"
Or "espion" for her male "compagnon"
Can still be sensed by the very astute
Who may think to question her good repute.
It sounds so much more luxurious in French
In English "spy" would merely cause offence.
That is the secret hidden deeply
Within this perfume bottle sweetly
Odorising the ambiance
Where only the richest nonchalance
And only the most beautiful celebrities
Will be happy to wear it, not knowing what it is.
You may find a bottle hanging around
In a secluded corner with a renowned
German aristocrat from World War 2.
Would you want to shake his hand, or wouldn't you?
The aroma of espionage that lingers
Long after her embrace has slipped from your fingers
May just cause that smell to go stale
As you consider the facts of her life and go pale
With horror or hatred. How you have been conned.
You gave Chanel money and she did abscond.
She's laughing all the way to the bank,
But for that you will only have me to thank,
As perhaps I have shattered your pleasant dream,
Your romantic evening with your beauty queen
Has left you with a bad taste in the mouth.
Not quite as you'd expected, the evening turned out.
As you held her in your strong manly arms
The tempting spy used all of her charms
To get you to give her what she really wanted.
A cheque from your book, and now you're affronted.
You mean to say I've been spun a lie
By a Second World War Nazi spy?
'Fraid so, old chap, jolly bad show.
She was a bit of a goer, that lady, though.
And that perfume I can't forget
It even lingers on my clothes yet.
Oh Chanel, I fell for your charms,
You swooned and then I was totally disarmed.
You seemed to be giving me everything
But my guard was down and I didn't feel a thing.
Your beautiful scent made me completely yield
To you alone so I dropped my shield.
I told you all my secrets. I opened my heart
But you told your German boyfriend and it broke me apart.
Never again by a perfume I'll be swayed
Who knows what about it may have stayed
Long after she has said "Au revoir"
Time to wash my hands of her and her perfume by far.
Don't think I'll buy this one for the wife,
She may discover the real Chanel, and that could cause some strife.