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Submitted:Nov 11, 2007    Reads: 267    Comments: 1    Likes: 1   

Alone in the dark without a light
Blind in my wandering
Aimless and unguided
I was lost and could not find the way
Walking once again down that
All-too-familiar road
Knowing where it led
Didn't care
Wouldn't be all that bad anyway
I've been there before
Why not go back and
Mind set
Nothing to forgive
Nothing to praise
Nothing to hold on to
Nothing really worthwhile
The world
No longer concerned
About my future
About my life
About anything
Who fucking cares?
Head down
Not looking ahead
No reason to anymore
So dark that I can't really
See anything anyway
So why bother?
Then I saw it
Caught from the corner
of my eye
A glimmer
Ever so faint
I look up and see it
More clearly
A light
Of hope
As it comes near I grab hold
And am swept away
The rush of everything roaring past
So soothing
So great
So lovely
I never planned to let go
Of this new inspiration
To which I clung
It was the fuel which fed the fires
Of my determination
Of my soul
Of my hope
Of my life
Why would I ever let it go?
Of course it probably wouldn't last
But I was too fucking blind
To see the truth
Her name was B.J.H.
She wasn't popular
She didn't have many friends
Tall as a tree,
Skinny as a twig;
Oh how I pitied her
No more
She turned out to be so much fun.
She didn't care about where I was,
Or what I'd done.
She only cared
That I had changed,
That I had got my feet back on the ground.
She loved me for who I was
No more
Forced apart
No choice in the matter
Didn't want it to end
It was either end it or go back
Didn't wanna go back
Still don't
Cuz she brought me back to reality
Helped me realize
All I had
To lose
Well to you, B.J.H., I say THANK YOU
Now I gotta move on
She wanted to continue
When this is over
Still wants to
I said yeah lets do that
Cuz I wanted to
No more
Now that I'm free
Now that I got space
And freedom to be myself
I realized how much she hurt me
How much she bent me
Twisted me
Manipulated me
Controlled me
No more
Was I not good enough?
That she had to go
And fucking cheat on me?
And then ask me for my forgiveness?
I forgave her all right
Told her if it happened again
We were through
She said "I don't know, it might"
Damn, she really had me
Wrapped around her finger
Cuz I still trusted her
Even after that
No more
Now that I don't have
Love clouding my vision
Looking back I see
That she probably did
More than once
And that I simply refused
To believe
That is was really happening
Or better yet I was simply
Too blind too see
Cuz we were going so fast
That I had tunnel vision
No more
Was I blind?
That I didn't see the signs
Was I deaf?
That I didn't hear the whispers
Was I numb?
That I didn't feel that wrenching in my gut?
Was I incapable?
Of comprehending all
That was really going on?
I must have been
Under one helluva spell.
Poison cup, must have been spiked
With something
Cuz I was dying alive
But didn't feel it
Didn't see it
Didn't hear it
Didn't even notice
No more
I said "I love you"
No more
I said "Now and forever"
No more
I said "When I'm with you I'm free"
No more
Why'd you have to be so mean and cruel?
You ball and chain.
Cuz that's all you really were
So why did I love it?
How did I even tolerate it?
No more
Go and find yourself another
Tell your new boy
Where I came
After all you've done to me,
After all I've done to you,
After all the fucking drama
We've been through,
Quite frankly I've had enough.
I'm fucking tired of the shit.
I simply can't take any more of it.
My nerve has been worn into
You say I've lost my glow.
Well guess what:
All this fucking bullshit
Has chiseled my level of energy
From a tree
To a toothpick
My heart has been scorched,
Burned alive
All this fucking talk
Has gotten so loud
It's made me deaf.
All this fucking pain
Has made me numb.
All this fucking dark
Has devoured the light.
This is my goodbye.
I hope you have a happy life.
If you want to be friends,
But beyond that
My feelings are
All gone,
No more.
My love for you is
All gone,
No moreā€¦


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