
Random First Lines: The fire was hot against her flesh. It ate away at her skin and the bones and the muscle. She twisted and... : Young Adult » Read
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Submitted: Apr 1, 2008 Reads: 67 Comments: 6 Likes: 5
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Urja:
Saw this as having a pro-life message. So! I liked it. Gave it an "I Like It" vote.
Recommend reading my posting of "Love Intended: #1, #2 & #3". Most expecially what is in the "comments" section. This is where you'll find my explanation of what comprises both rhyme and rhythm in poetry. Your work is a little too wordy. This means, in some lines, fewer words and syllables would improve the flow and presentation. Without a loss of meaning.
Happy trails,
Ed Bradley.
Posted: Apr 1, 2008
Yes, I agree with Ed. The message behind the poems are great, simply superb but if only they could be little bit more simpler for audience like me.Then it will appeal to a larger mass.
The poem "Rats in a Race" and The above one are both brilliant.They convey the message that you have experienced it all by urself and are not faking it at any point of time.The truth behind the words is obvious and so it touches heart.
I liked it. But I loved "Rats in a Race"
Posted: Apr 2, 2008
Honestly, with each read , i feel as if I am getting closer and closer to it's true meaning.
Beautiful poem.
I am so so so............jealous .....
Posted: Apr 5, 2008
Wow Urja, this is a brilliant read.
Which is stronger,
Ideas or words?
For one may exist
Independent of the other
But unless coupled, they lose
All meaning, all purpose
I love this, ideas are nothing unless expressed in some way.
I enjoy your writing. It flows from one thought to another in a seemingly effortless style. It is thought provoking but no way intangible.
Posted: Sep 20, 2008
Dwelling too much on the conflict will eventually cancel each other out; reverting all sense of writing to absolute zero. Well... that is how I try to see it.
And that is why I value raw writing. Not everything can be a masterpiece, but small amounts at a time and I find my way again (not to say I have ever created a masterpiece).
Maybe create some space between some lines, so I can breathe. That was my attempt at humor in case you felt a sting.
I am currently in a dry spell, but I wait for the shape of my creation...
Posted: Oct 26, 2008
Good poem, but i must admit i should have read this first.....ur intensity was max in "The Anguish...." nd that will still be my fav of ur writings
Posted: Nov 19, 2008
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