My Heart's Confessions

A heart is broken

And we not it’s not yours.

I’ve waited for years

Since that first kiss.

We tried it once

And it didn’t work.

I sit waiting

For you to realise

I love you more than anything

I’d die for you.

You left and moved

To the other end of the country.

When really

You only moved a few hours away.

I added you on facebook

Before you asked me out.

For months I was happy

Couldn’t stop smiling.

Then we broke up

I felt my heart breaking.

Some people laughed

Some said I’ll find someone better.

But how on earth

Can I find someone better???

When you are all I see

All I think about

All I want.

I sat in my room

Blinds closed

Lights out.

My parents tried their hardest

To get me outside with my friends.

This went on for months

I felt like it would never end.

Then I began to forget you

It didn’t last long.

Soon after your birthday

You came to see me.

We laughed and soaked each other

In sea water and iron bru.

I felt my heart fill with joy

Then you left again.

I began to forget

Once again after months.

I began to go outside

And hang about with my friends.

You gave me a message

“I’m moving home”

My heart filled with dread

At the thought of being hurt all over again.

I said it was cool

And I would see you in school.

I walked into class

On that first Monday morning

Glad you weren’t there

But you were just late

My friend looked at me.

You know her from years ago.

My other friends looked puzzled

At you

The boy I couldn’t stop looking at.

Then we were put into groups

The teacher told you to come with us.

I couldn’t stop smiling

The atmosphere was awkward

Strained in a way.

“I never lied” you said

“I know” was my reply.

Georgia asked later

Who the blonde guy was

“A friend from port Erroll”

She ran off to Lana

“Dylan Sutherland” she said

Georgia started to smile.

Soon news got around

That we went out

The blond and the annoying

No one laughed.

I was happy when with you

Now you are another’s.

We fell out from our friends

My heart started to split

The rip became worse

When you called me a bitch.

My friend asked you out for me

I was embarrassed

You tried to ignore her and started slagging me off.

I asked you why and we parted as friends

You blocked me on facebook

When I tried to apologize.

I have a big ego

For that I’m not proud

I wish I could turn back time

And make things right.

I will say I’m jealous

Of your ex when you laugh

Together when I’m not in it.

The girl that has you now

Should know that she’s lucky.

If she ever reads this

She will know that she’s lucky.

To be able to be held

In your loving arms

To kiss you tenderly

When I cannot.

It hurts to write this

But I will not talk

To anyone who is with me.

My friends hate him

Because he isn’t their kind of perfect.

My mother claims to know this hurt

But tells me I’m too young to understand.

I tell her “of course”

But I have to lie.

I wish I still had you

As mine to hold

To caress

To kiss to my heart’s content.

Just be careful with yourself

I have loved you more

Than any girl will ever love you

Through this four years of torture

Knowing I could not have you.

Do not forget

Those times we had

As we laughed at the young kids

Throwing jokes at each other.

Do not forget those times we had

Looking at each other

Messing around

When work was to be done.

I love you more than anything

I know I’ve said it many times before.

But if you ever read this

I want you to know

How much it hurts to write this.

I’ll say it again

And this is the only time

I love you more than anything.

I would die for you

I love you more than anything.

Most importantly though

Don’t forget me Dylan.