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UNMISTAKEABLE

Poem By: VIXEN
Poetry


Tags: sad, real, inspired

FOR THIS POEM I PUT MYSELF IN THE SHOES OF SOMEONE I HOPED I WOULD NEVER HAVE TO BE. I WAS INSPIRED BY STORIES I HAD HEARD AND PEOPLE I KNEW WHOSE CHILDHOOD WAS FULL OF SUFFERING. IF YOU COULD LEAVE ME A COMMENT I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT. HAVING SOMEONE ELSE'S OPINION REALLY HELPS ME. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Sep 10, 2007    Reads: 18    Comments: 1    Likes: 0   


Its unmistakable that sound

From behind the door i hear it

Shouting
Screaming
Crying
Bleeding
It's not me it them but it still hurts
I can still feel it
I can see it
I can hear it
It's unmistakable that sound
Thumping
Smashing
Breaking
Not just them, but me too
My heart breaks every time i hear him shout
I hear the thumping in my head
It's not me who is screaming out loud its him
But I am screaming inside
Although no one can hear me
But then it's not me, im not the one
Bleeding
Crying
Weeping
Sighing
It's her

Only I can hear her

But what can I do?
I'm only a child
I'm not strong enough
My minds not strong enough
He's strong though
But wait...

The shouting stops, now he can see
He sees her
He sees me
He sees himself
Now he's the one who hurts
Now he's the one crying
Its unmistakable that sound


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Comments:

VIXEN:

Couldn't quite get the meaning of this one or the person about or for whom it was written. Gave it a "5" though.

What was good/best about this poem was the presentation. It does a great job in capturing and portraying the emotional chaos, the person is experiencing. But the reason for it is not clear to the reader.

You may want to give this some more thought and expand it to give it more clarity. Just a thought and suggestion.

Happy trails,

Ed Bradley.

Posted: Sep 19, 2007

Author Comment:

THANKS AGAIN ED FOR YOUR THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS, I VALUE ALL OF THEM ESPECIALLY ONES THAT HELP ME TO IMPROVE MY WORK.



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Other writing by VIXEN DONT JUDGE ME THE 'OTHER' WOMAN LOVING YOU IS ALL I DO FROM JANUARY TO DECEMBER MY CRUEL IMAGINATION More..



Tags

Love, Poetry, Life, Death, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, God, Horror, Hate, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Faith.

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