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My How You've Grown

Poetry By: walkingonfate

This was quite a personal one to write, I think. Brought back some sad memories

Submitted:Dec 19, 2009    Reads: 468    Comments: 10    Likes: 6   

I search the ends of your greying mind

Here is what I sought for, fought for, to find

See a babe, a withered dream, and thoughts all but kind

Fear, you cry, is what you at first felt

The Father in Fatherly, laid first, then melts

Love on your heart was wrongly spelt

My first curl, a tooth, none you would have kept

First of all you leave, then the dust is swept

In her bed, by my side, my poor mother wept

I picture my hands gripped tight around the bars of a cot

I scream out in the night, my tears are hot

I know who you are, and I know who you are not

You kick a stone about on a dusty street

Can't you feel the burden? The guilt?The heat?

I doubt you do, I doubt you ever did, how's that for defeat?

In my waking dreams you don't hang your head in shame

You dont bow your head in reflection, feel that you were to blame

You sit back at Home, with your new child with a new name

"Mummy, who's that man in the picture?"

Four years later, we're no poorer, no richer

"Some man" she says, but breathes, "Some vile creature"

At my expense, I sit fidgeting at school

It's bring your dad day, this isn't cool

"Where's yours?" Johnnyboy sneers, "Is he out, playing pool?"

It's my birthday, I sit all giddy by the phone

Wait for you to call, mum's out, I'm alone

Leave a message? Nope. There's no "After the tone"

I realise soon, I have a differnt name to you

It starts and ends with different letters too

We have nothing in common, I'm afraid, it's true

The window's open, I lie awake at night

No peace reaches me, this is no 'Sleep tight'

"He doesn't care." I hear you say, and I know you're right.

After seventeen years, I can let this go

Since the day you left, not once have you shown

For you see "Dad-ee" I have done more than just grown


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