Always and never, that was our vow
I had to take up a challenge, so here it is!!! (Challenge by hiralarious, I was given a random line and had to make a poem out of it, the title is the random line) Enjoy!! I tried to make this simple but sweet, so im not exppecting any extravagant comments!!
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Submitted: Jun 13, 2008
Reads: 145
Comments: 40
Likes: 14
*Always*
Would we be together
Forever and ever
Blissfully in love
For time was our dove
And hope was our destiny
For what we imagined was eternity
*Never*
Would he leave me bare
Deserting me to deal with tears
Grasped in the clutches of dispear
Smothered in the clouds of fear
***
He was my helping hand
My warm embrace
The rock on which I stand
My solid base
***
These were our plights
Our promises
However, forever
Here and Now
Ours and yours
Tomorrows night
Today's light
Always and never,
glued together
Eternally vowed.
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Comments:
Boy, am i speechless to describe what i am feeling now....
The way u deal with romantic poems is too good esp in this world of disbelief.....u light a candle of hope and warmth with ur poems...love u honey...
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
Its good. Great job.
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
Um, sorry, I really like it, but not sure how to put it.
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
awwww, that's so awesome!
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
You really have a way with words wandiola!
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
for me it was just okay.
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
This was really romantic :) I love romance... so that means I love your poem :)
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
niceee :D
Btw, it's hiralarious. LOL. xDDD
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
awwww *speachless*
romantic indeed, absolutely lovely and breathtaking...one of your best!
Steph(:
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
beautiful!
an amazing romance poem!
:]
Loved it!
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
Aww! ^^ That was beautiful. Great job =]
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
that's really good. i liked it.
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
*gasp* tears of joy.
Lydia_xxxx
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
that was great. a really really really really really really great poem. lol, yeah, good job! =)
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
You should extend this into more stanzas, just as i was settling down for the romantic crescendo of emotion to descends...u finish! U have a sense of drama in your writing that lures the reader into your lines, keep this up! Dont be afraid to write too much, u can always edit later.
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
This shows romance, but I do have to admit that it is a bit short!
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
Aww!!! Pretty good!! I liked it alot.. nice work!
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
Hey you! I think you're not giving yourself enough credit. This was a very good love poem. I think the way you split it "Always" and "Forever" was a good way to meet the challenge. You know I always think you do a good job though.
Posted: Jun 14, 2008
Awwwwwww..........that was such a sweet poem!!
^-^
great work!
Posted: Jun 14, 2008
hi wandiola. In the first two verses you used a lot of past tense. So I got the idea that this was a love gone bad. You know a love lost.
For time was our dove
And hope was our destiny
For what we imagined was eternity
He was my helping hand
My warm embrace
And then I read the *Never* and the verse that follows. YOu bring out such emotion it's like the person in the poem has gone through it. Has lived to feel such pain.
And then in the last verse I realised that they are together. FOREVER.... TRUE LOVE
i LIKED it.
Posted: Jun 14, 2008
Very sweet wandiola. ^^
Posted: Jun 14, 2008
That was such a great poem.....lots of emotion...loved it....happy days and sunshine Juliet
Posted: Jun 14, 2008
WOW THIS IS SO TRULY AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!!!!!
Posted: Jun 14, 2008
This is perfectly worded...it's really good
Posted: Jun 14, 2008
This was truly amazing! i love your word chocie! great job!
Posted: Jun 14, 2008
Wow! What an amazing poem. Great job!!!!!
Posted: Jun 14, 2008
You responded to the challenge well. Very romantic but strong, nice work.
Posted: Jun 14, 2008
woah, nice work. i liked it ALOT. =)
Posted: Jun 14, 2008
This poem, as it seemed to me, was effortlessly written. This shows how naturally, your gift as a writter/poet is. It's smiple, clear and straight for readers of all level. Just keep it up. (Thumps Up!)
Posted: Jun 15, 2008
waaa i love the third paragraph!!!
its so beautiful!!
*grins and claps*
great job :D
Posted: Jun 15, 2008
very beautifully written. can't wait to read more of your poems!
Posted: Jun 15, 2008
That was so beautiful. Very 'simple and sweet'. You've adapted the line to the poem very well.
Keep up the great work!
Olola.
Posted: Jun 15, 2008
A very tender ode to love and commitment.
You are a talented wordsmith.
These challenges have been illiciting some great work from everyone.
I suppose it's kicking in more creativity.
Great poem.
Posted: Jun 15, 2008
Aw, so sweet. Beautiful poem. ^^
Posted: Jun 16, 2008
WOW. Beautiful poem! Am very impressed. really touched me. xx
Posted: Jun 17, 2008
im sure this comes as no surprise but i liked it to and i am clicking the "i like" button you have such a way with words that everytime i read something of yours im amazed that youre only 15 you are a very gifted writer and i feel that if youre this good at 15 then at 25 you are gonna be amazing and will blow the minds of all who read your work :) sure hope i will be around to read it in 10 years :)GREAT JOB keep up the good work
Posted: Jun 21, 2008
always and never...those two words seem to go together a lot. I liked this poem, it makes you stop and think about how short life really is and how you shouldnt take anything for granted.
Posted: Jun 23, 2008
i can never write something as good as this... keep on wow-ing everyone!! i love this romantic poem:)
Posted: Jun 26, 2008
Nice! A positive twist on the line with a good sense of balance. Enjoyed this, Wandiola!
Posted: Aug 27, 2008
That was really good!
I liked it alot, it was a beautiful poem. Your very talented. :]
Posted: Nov 18, 2008
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