Ode to Stepmothers

Ode to Stepmothers

When a person thinks 'stepmom', they think

Responsible adult

Good to family

Kind and loving

You are all of those

Plus many more

You let a twelve year old

Do the salt-and-ice challenge

Along with the cinnamon challenge

Twice

But it was fine;

At least you were supervising

You are so good to this family

So good, in fact

You mixed up face soap

With moisturizer

And

You emjoy picking on a

Fourteen year old

Who wears her heart on her sleeve

Not to mention

You own a machete

Which is an excellent mix

Between Anger Management

And moody teenagers

Last,

But not least

You're kind and loving

So kind,

You don't care about

Other people's feelings

So loving,

You care more about your dog

Than you do your own daughter

And you always let the kids

Keep their recordings

So helpful,

You do the laundry

And you love

To throw the laundry basket

Across the hallway

When we ask for some jeans

But that's nothing like

That warm feeling we get

When you cut the straps

On our camisoles

You just make us feel so safe

Can someone please explain why

I have the police

On speed-dial?