Waking up in the middle of the night
Sweating… screaming… crying
That became the norm
Fear builds from something I’m unfamiliar with
To the point of forgetting why I woke up in the first place
Journeying onto a path of no return, should I take that leap?
Should I plunge into the abyss with nothing to hold me back?
I keep my horrors as quiet as possible
But others can’t help but notice something is different…something is strange about me
They try to ask… they try to reach out
And all I could do is wave them off… telling them that I’m fine… I’m okay
Don’t worry about me… it’ll pass
I try to say these words like I mean them… but if I don’t believe these words, who will?
I wonder how long it will take before they grow tired of my moods that they won’t even bother anymore
It’s not something that worries me; being alone
In fact I prefer it that way
But I am terrified of losing you to my moods
I’m afraid of hurting you in ways unfathomable
So for your own well being and mine
I am going to let you go
I am going to end it this time