I need the open space,

    Somewhere other than this corner I am in.

    I need these feelings of relief,

    Without taking out the knife I've used so many times.

                                     .

    I need to experience the hurt,

   Without being pushed away from everybody.

    I need to experience the lonliness,

    Without being the only left alone in this world.

                                     .

    These screams stuck in my throat,

    Won't let lose.

    This mask stuck to my face,

    I won't take off.

                                    .

    Happiness seems like such a strong word,

    When you can't feel it.

    Hate seems so much more of a companion,

    When it's forced upon you every single day.

                                  .

    I try hard to force back the tears,

    And not to sob.

    I try hard to toughen up for everybody I know,

    And not be like one of them.

                                  .

    But finally those screams break free,

    The ones that have been there in my mouth forever.

    And the mask that has been hiding my true face,

    Has been ripped off.

                                    .

    No more am I the helper searching for the hurt,

    But I am the hurt running away from the helper.

    I'm scared and my feet just keep pounding,

    Taking to the uneven rhythm of my broken heart.

                                      .

     Finally those tears break lose,

    And I sob uncontrollably.

    The blood that runs from my open wounds,

    Is the blood that poisons.

                                     .

    Killed inside by my own power,

    Unable to control this secret urge.

    I have come free of who I thought I was,

    Because of mind over matter.