Turning away even I don't see myself.

    I wish only for you to understand.

    I don't want to be pushed away, rejected.

    I would be left with all the pain,

    The pain of both our childish mistakes.

    I'm living in hell every single day,

    I'm just always trying to get out.

    It's burying me deeper and deeper into the pit until I'm fully under.

    I can't feel your hand on mine and I scream, an everlasting scream.

    I dig and dig and scream and scream.

    I helped you,

    I love you.

    I knew that you would always be there for me.

    But what I did,

    What I've done.

    That blade,

    Across my wrist.

    The blood,

    Spilling everywhere.

    The noises,

    Rushing to my head.

    And I want to tell you.

    But your ears won't open up,

    You won't listen.

    I burn with the anxiety to burst it out,

    To throw it in your face.

    But what if you reject me?

    Turn me away because of my wrong doings?

    You said you hated them,

    The people who used that blade.

    You said that they deserved no life, that they were better off dead.

    And those tears,

    These tears,

    That fall down my cheeks are not for you.

    They are because of you.

    They are the reason I cry.

    They are the reason I scream.

    They are the reason I fear.

    You are my father.

    You are my dad.

    You are my daddy.

    And I don't ever want you to leave.

    This seperation,

    This divorce,

    No matter how old I am or how many times I've told myself,

    I can't deal with it.

    It affects me,

    Burns me,

    Kills me.

    I don't know you anymore.

    I barely see you, and you always have fun with other people.

    I'm losing you,

    And you're like the blood that spills from my open wounds.

    I may get you back,

    But not the exact one I lost.

    With your feelings so doubtfully untrue,

    I lay here thinking of only you.

    I want to see you,

    I want to hear you,

    I want to be with you.

    But I'm so busy living the life I don't want to live,

    And being the person I don't want to be.

    I want you to save me.

    I want you to be here with me.

    I want you to tell me it will all be ok.

    But you can't,

    Because you don't understand.

    This blade.

    These scars.

    This blood.

    These tears.

    They were all for you.

    And I wish that you would cry with me,

    Hug me,

    Be with me,

    Tell me that it will be better.

    But you can't,

    Because you don't know.

    I am in fear.

    Rejection,

    of your own daughter.

    Please,

    Father.