I'm in a room full of people,
And there you are, I see you.
So many people and yet everybody walks by.
Your eyes scan past me, avoiding my gaze.
I scream,
Yet you don't hear me.
Nobody hears me.
My voice rings out like a siren.
It burns my ears and scathes my throat.
But yet you still walk past me without a single word.
I push you and wave my hands into your face.
Yet you don't see me.
Nobody sees me.
Suffering in this invisible trap,
I lay bloody and wounded on the ground.
I'm breathing so hard and yet you aren't there.
You're morphing me.
You're turning me into someone that I don't want to be.
All your time is put into my future.
Do this, do that.
What about what I want?
My words don't reach your ears.
I'm crying the tears that you've put into me,
The ones that aren't for you.
And there you are.
I see you with him,
Holding his hand, flirting continuously.
I scream and cry, I try to get your attention.
But you're too busy spending your time with him.
I feel so alone, so torn away.
I feel like you've ripped out my heart, and then you decide to just keep it.
In that eternal hole I bleed.
My hand is outstretched, my lips whispering your name.
The silent wind carry the words to your ears.
Yet you don't hear me.
Nobody hears me.
I wait for you, to tell you feelings.
I stand in front of you, I cause a ruckus.
Yet you don't see me.
Nobody see's me.
This pain inside of me builds up so much that now I'm on the bridge.
I'm jumping,
Falling,
Hitting,
Freezing,
Drowning,
Dying.
I can't breathe, just like before.
My lungs constrict,
They close into little shrivels of nothing.
I open my mouth to scream your name but it rushes in, the water.
I'm so numb, as I have always been.
You thought everything was ok.
When I told you before, the reasons for my mistakes,
I thought that maybe you understood.
I thought that maybe it would all change.
But my life has turned into embarrassment.
It has turned into a living nightmare.
Day after day I put on that mask.
I put it on just for you, mom.
And I wear it so that you won't see the pain,
and so that nobody else will see the pain.
Because even if I didn't wear that mask,
You wouldn't see me anyway.
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