For You My Friend....Truly Beautiful

i don't know what to say

what have i become, for i no longer see myself the way i once was,

why is it so hard to see myself once more as the thoughts of death

and wonder float around in an endless spiral, unknown to me,

i have forgotten myself,

i speak to myself in wonder and dark, cold thoughts drift all

around me.....trully what have i become

i see them all around, those who say i am your friend,

wanting sometimes for them to see the pain that lies

unknowingly inside of me....save me...save meee....

yet i know deep down i am not kind but curel as

i look at those and wonder what it would be like

to hurt.......but i know i can not hurt anyone

the way i think it to be..........

i have forgotten many memories yet i remember things that

seem impossible yet even now i no longer feel

the warmth i once was able to feel and even the darkness

as left me soooooo...,

why i ask myself can't i speak my mind, why can't they see i

don't want to care but become a void of my own

thoughts....

but my friend it was beautiful,

trully beatiful.......

indeed..

trully....

........beautifullllllll......