He sat in the empty loft all alone
His heart matching his body, as cold as a stone
Times like this were the most painful
Not because he hated them, for the silence he was thankful
But the real dread was in the contrast
The fact that this solitude would not last
No matter the time of day or whatever place
His calm and sanity broken by the glimpse of his face
When he thought he was safe and it was over, he would appear
Walk in through the door, or come out of a crowd, he was always near
Right on time, he heard the click of the lock
The door swung open, and in he walked
The sight of him brought the memories back
A rush of agony and pain, a psychological attack
That inhuman monster greeted him and took a seat
He could feel his filthy gaze but his eyes he could not meet
The shell of this man was perfect in everyway
Perfect enough to fool the people around him everyday
But he knew what sick darkness lay deep within
Nothing but an endless hole of black sin
All the pain he brought, the lives he ended
The bringer of wounds so deep, never to be mended
He wanted nothing more than to kill this freak
Just as always, his anger reached its peak
He pulled the cold steel from his holster and took aim
Could he do it this time, end the misery, or would it stay the same?
His finger twitched, begging to pull the trigger
Starring down the barrel, the fiend's smile grew bigger
"Do you really think you can do it?"
"You're nothing without me, nothing but shit"
"Kill me and your life goes down the drain"
"So put the gun down, think, and use your brain"
"Stop crying over what I did, leave it in the past"
"How long can you go on like this, I don't think you'll last"
"It was an accident, everyone could see"
"You can't just continue blaming me"
"So how about you put the gun away"
"And go outside to the park or fishing at the bay"
"Or we can toss that all out the window right now"
"And you can leave the stage of life, take your bow"
As the words left that sick monsters mouth
He knew he was right, there was no doubt
He had taken the lives of those he held most dear
But even with all the anger, but it was held back by fear
The fear of the unknown, of what came next
What was to be of his life, the question left him perplexed
He looked around for an answer which he found
In the still picture of his family, never making a sound
What good was his life now that they were gone?
If he didn't pull the trigger, the killer had won
He made his choice, this life wasn't worth living
Vengeance, it was a try worth giving
The neighbor next door heard the sound of the gun fire
An hour later, a man was in the apartment in police attire
He found in the small flat, a single body on the floor
A gun in one hand, and the other covered in gore
He crouched next to the body to carefully observe
When something rang a bell in his mind, struck a nerve
In all his life, he had never forgotten a face
And this one he had seen before in a motor accident case
This man had drunkenly driven off the road and crashed
He survived but his wife and child had breathed their last
Like so many, he lost his life to darkness inside
The darkness that makes the monsters we cannot hide
That we are plagued by and always see
Until we make them more horrible then they may be
These beasts within, we cannot ignore
But remember, self hatred only breeds more.