Today or tomorrow (The internal struggles of a suicidal person)

Do I end it today or do I end it tomorrow?...

These are the daily questions I can't get out of my head and trust me that's a huge struggle.

I tried to live life to the fullest, but truly I can't.

I don't have the motivation or inspiration that must people around me have.

I tried to fake it and even that's a struggle, cuz I know in my heart there's no love for what I'm doing and at the end I hate it more, so...

My love for my husband is almost gone and I can honestly say I'm hurt, but I guess there's an end for everything and that's how love works.

My passion for things are gone. I don't feel nothing anymore. 

I feel like a zombie wishing to be kill right with a head shot. 

Today or tomorrow? That would be the struggle, is it for me to decide or for God to choose my day of ending this pain I feel and forever end my sorrows.

Today or tomorrow...