Completely misguided by myself.

Completely misguided.

We cant be together.

Because ive lied to you, about everything I forced my own self to believe was true.

At first I only wanted to talk to you. So I used my friends identity. Because I knew youde never talk to me, if you knew what I really looked liked.

and I tried so many times to tell you. But realised I  was getting far to in. and when I woke up everymorning I planned to tell you. But I just couldnt, and when I heard your voice, I fell so completely in love.

and the two times when I cried and wouldnt tell u what was wrong, this was the reason. I only wanted some one who cared, someone wo enjoyed talking to me. and you seemed to care.

I had never felt so close to anyone. And I believed everyting would be perfect.

but then as I fell asleep last night, I cried, because I knew what I had done, and I knew that I had to tell you, as the guilt rose.

and I knew that you would hate me forever.

because everything I told were lies, because I was scared you wouldnt love me if you knew how I looked, and how lonely and pethetic my life is.

and I know it doesnt matter now, but everytime I said I loved you, I meant it with all my heart. and I tried so hard to tell you, but I knew if I did, you would hate me forever.

everytime we were close, I felt loved and cared for, and i have never felt that.

but I know I will have to live my life loving someone who hates me. because I know you will never give me another chance. and I dont deserve it, nore anyones love. and ive always known that.

but now I understand, I was completely lied to and misguided by my own self, and I deserve no one.

So hate me all you want because I hate my own self. but I will always love you. and as you hate me threw your life, I will never forget you.