"Mindy!" I hear Joseph call. I am laying in bed and it is 5pm. I
woke up at 9am and just laid here like a stone in water. I have
sunk into the bed and it is impossible to get up
I didn't move I just laid in this bed and thought about nothing.
My mind has raced but no thoughts encompassed it. A white space
of emptiness sat still where nothing is alive and nothing
happens, where there is nothing.
Everything is nothing. Nothing is everything.
"Mindy?" He walks into the room and I do not look up or even move
the slightest inch. "Darling, are you awake?"
My eyes are closed and I can feel him move closer to me. I can
feel that shift in the air and sense his body move closer. His
fingers brush my bare shoulder. Skin...skin...air...nothing.
"Are you alive?" He whispers, more silent than air. More silent
than skin. More silent than nothing. I begin to wonder if he has
even spoken at all. Or if the air is moving in slight patterns
and creating these false voices. Is he really here? Is he even
real? Or am I sitting on clouds, sitting on air
Waiting to be
I slowly let my eyes open. All is nothing. This room has the
tiniest bit of light painting patterns on the wall through the
curtains and blinds. I see the silhouette of my Joseph, and I see
the bright blues of his eyes. The blues that remind me that life
Things are simple. Simple is nothing. Nothing is simple.
"Mindy, you can't just lay in bed all day. It's not healthy,
please sit up." He pulls slightly at my arm, His fingers slip off
my skin so gently and so romantically. His fingers slip off as if
I am made of water. He stares, he breathes.
I don't sit up. I stare in my catatonic state and watch my
Joseph. He is bewildered, he is confused. He is wondering how I'm
thinking. How I'm breathing and I begin to believe that he as
well is questioning if we are alive. If this is life and if this
is air, if we are breathing or if
And dying and breathing...
Oh, my Joseph. I laugh in my mind but it is nothing in real life.
Real life is nothing. Nothing is real life.
I am not.
My Joseph stands there and he still watches me. I watch him with
my eyes closed. We sit. We stand. We dance. We lie down. We
breathe. We become one. We end motion. We stop the world from
spinning because it is not even real. This world is going dead
and we are leaving. I am leaving but I have left already. Because
I am not real and nothing on this dead earth is real. We are
figments of imagination, of a dream, We are the dream
And I am the slight shift in the air as you
Until there's nothing left. Until he gives up and just lies down
beside me. I lay straight on my back and sink further into this
bed like a stone. He gently curls himself into me. I am safe and
he is safe on this invisible earth. His hand in mine, his arm
around me, skin
We both fall asleep to the sound of air.