Psalm 109:29-31 (NIV)
29May my accusers be clothed with disgrace and wrapped in shame as in a cloak.
30With my mouth I will
greatly extol the Lord; in the great throng of worshipers I will
31 For he stands at the right hand of the needy, to save their lives from those who would condemn them.
This is yet another promise of God to those who trust in Him. He promised to stand by at the right hand of the needy, and I am needy right now. I need God`s guidance and love to make the right decisions as to what`s coming for me. I have a lot of people who condemned me along with my husband and who sided with my husband, but I pray that God would lead out His justice and bring out His truth.
After last Sunday`s meeting with my husband and our neutral pastor, we left unresolved everything as it is now, and I didn`t think there would be any more changes until the final hearing. However, on Tuesday I heard back from my husband who initiated the conversation to start the negotiations to put a halt to our case and stop the legal process. I was in shock to see his email as I was typing up the same kind of a message to him, but he was first to send it to me, so I knew that it was the answer from God to resolve specific things to move on with the reconciliation. I proposed that we rescind any previous orders that we currently have in place as a result of my husband`s dishonesty and dirty methods, and will go back to having custody over our daughter 100/100 meaning there is no custody in place, but us deciding everything together for our daughter. Not only will it ease the pressure as to how we act around each other when we have our daughter with us, but it would put to test the main area of trust for us to each other. My husband proposed that we made a list of things that each one of us wanted to negotiate when getting back together, and tonight we are supposed to meet to discuss them.
This is the first time I see this kind of willingness on his part to initiate and to negotiate since before he was sure he would win every single battle in court, but after the last temporary hearing ruled in my favor for my husband to start paying me child support, he changed his attitude. This is one of the things that I gave up to God when I was praying as to why the last hearing ended up with only one thing being decided in my favor and the other two requested claims left unresolved until the final hearing, and I guess God knew what was necessary to take place to change my husband`s attitude. When I think about this, I realize how much we need to trust God and rely that what He allows is only for our own good and wellbeing even if we don`t understand that at the moment.
There are many issues to work through for us, and I don`t know how they will get resolved yet, but I pray for God`s guidance and wisdom to make the right decisions. All these things have to be worked through, but there is a clause to it: they must be decided according to God`s word and His truth. As I look at today`s verses in Psalm 109, I realize that God is not going to be mocked in all of His promises. David was a warrior, and when he wrote these verses, he knew God`s character from his previous battles and his victories. David knew what God`s promises meant and what they were capable of changing.
David also wrote in Psalm 37:5-6 (NKJV):
5Commit your way to
the Lord, trust also in Him,
and He shall bring itto pass.
6 He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
There is nothing better than committing my ways to the Lord because His ways are higher than mine and He knows better than me what needs to happen in order for my circumstances to turn for the better. God promises over and over to bring forth righteousness and justice, so I must trust that so long as I commit my way to Him, He will do the impossible with that.
Although I don`t wish any malice for my husband or for any of those who wished me harm and attempted to destroy my life and the life of my daughter, I wish for God`s justice and for His truth to come out. This is nothing shameful to desire, and I would have been a hypocrite if I didn`t think that or prayed about that. The only particular detail about this is I pray that I don`t have to be the one testifying against my husband in the court or being the one going against him, but let it be others. I pray that God uses people and circumstances to bring him down to his knees to complete brokenness and surrender to God because I think that without that no change is possible especially for someone as prideful as my husband.
I know that God would not allow me to burn down or to be broken down being already bruised and cracked in so many places from enduring so many hardships and afflictions. In Isaiah 42:3-4 (NKJV)God promised that:
3 A bruised reed He will not break, and smoking flax He will not quench; He will bring forth justice for truth. 4 He will not fail nor be discouraged, till He has established justice in the earth; and the coastlands shall wait for His law."
I believe that God would not allow me to get broken being already so bruised and hurt; I believe that there will be a day when I would look back and remember no more any of these horrible trials that I`m going through and would be able to say that I`m grateful for them because now I am so much stronger spiritually.
I have God`s promise that He would protect me from all those who condemn me. There are too many instances when I heard my husband, his family, and his friends condemned me for my faith in God. To condemn someone means to"officially declare to be unfit for use", and my husband openly wrote that in his complaints for the court claim. He stated that I was an "unfit" mother to care for our daughter, and she should be taken away from me and be given to him. He condemned me for living my life for God because it goes against his carnal selfish lifestyle; he condemned me for many different things and proclaimed me to be "unfit", but God says the opposite. God in His word promises that He would stand by the right hand of those who are being condemned. In my Bible (different language), it literally says that God would save from those who judge.
God has been fighting all my battles for me, and as you read my previous articles and see God`s miracles that took place when I had the impossible situations, you can see that God is faithful to His word. If you face a situation that you think could not be resolved, please trust that God will stand by those who are needy and will save you from those who condemn you. God said in Jeremiah 32:27 (NIV):
27 "I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?
There is nothing that could be impossible for God to fix or to rebuild, or to destroy if necessary, but I also think it would be impossible for us to come to this state of mind without having very personal relationships with God because the only way to live by faith is through knowing who God is, and what His plan is for one`s life. Please trust that whatever happens is only for the better because God has only the very best intentions for His children even if you don`t understand something right now and why it`s happening like I am, but I choose to trust the Lord, and to choose that He would stand by my right side to deliver me out of the condemnation.