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How I feel/see Christianity. A clear view on my thoughts and my past.

Submitted:May 13, 2013    Reads: 27    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   

Don't Label Me {Unedited/ Under construction}


  1. A Part Of Me
  2. My Heart
  3. Actions to War….

1. A Part Of Me

Christianity. That simple word can make people shutter, judge you in a second, and connect you with others with the same belief.I myself am a Christian, but I don't want to be put into the cliché groups or be known for labeling myself a good person. I would rather others look upon me and know I follow God, that I believe with all my heart that he died on the cross for my sins and he is a strong merciful father.

What's the difference right? Well for starters I don't enjoy being in church. I know those of us brought up in faith are taught to never say those words. It's like blasphemy to say you don't like church, but at some point in your life you have to think for yourself.

Three things I like about church; Listening to the word of God, the people, and the music.

Three things I dislike about church; the people, some point's the preachers bring up, and the music.

I love listening to what God and his disciplines have to say, but sometimes I've noticed preachers saying their opinion like they were facts. If it's not in the bible then don't assume and spread your opinion like it's the truth and how it needs to be taken in. Others like Atheist, Catholics, do the same thing but that's another story.

The people there are sweet and kind like what everyone expects from God's followers… but they are like everyone else. They have cliques, they gossip, and if you don't see things there way they will argue and think they are right without even considering how you feel about it.

I used to be apart of an awesome church. We played games, had music that really moved you, and our pastor made it easy to understand with comical or heart wrenching examples with each testimony we went through. But before and after our class began we were scattered in social groups. I was a strong believer like everyone else in that room but yet I sat in the back like I was different, in silence. When we played games I wasn't picked for being it, or tossed the invisible football or chosen to be on a team when we were outside.

One of the biggest issues with being outside was my asthma; so running around was out of the question. So I would sit out there watching everyone laughing by myself. No one was there to ask how I was or even questioned why I didn't want to be apart of it. The few friends I made there didn't comfort me, the pastor didn't stand aside to watch with me so I wasn't alone. Our church celebrated people's birthdays, but I only got a card. They went over to people's houses to see how they were doing if a member didn't show up on Wednesday but I never had one of those visits when I couldn't find a ride. I remember this one time when I stopped going for weeks just to see if someone would notice. The only person that seemed to take notice was my mother.

These are pity, small examples but it all adds up to the point that I was an outcast at church. Imagine three lite candles; Faith in God, faith in the church, and faith in yourself. Never had my flame for God swayed. I wasn't going to judge him for what people were doing.

Even after not being apart of the graduation the church held for those who graduated high school I didn't lash out or lose my faith.

2. My Heart

My life isn't even half over and my eyes, heart, and mind are already open. I accept the flaws of the imperfect, I see the line that shouldn't be crossed when dealing with beliefs, and I forgive everyone.

The one thing that get's to me is when I hear "the Bible is just a guide". Well if it's just a guide, a stepping stone to something greater then that explains why I am a strong individual. I'm not making enemies with my tongue, or sleeping around because I can't control my lust. I'm not murdering, belittling, or using anyone. I try to be honest, grateful, and unselfish in life. I have my flaws, my moment of weakness but I am happy with who I am and my decisions with following in God's footsteps.

Do I believe I'm a good person? No. I am impure, I make mistakes and from time to time again I find myself in the wrong. Do I follow blindly, obeying the commandments just to get into heaven? No.

Being baptized doesn't mean that I was dunked in some magic holy water that cleaned me of my sins and that I could go into haven now. If that were true I would have to be baptized once a weak to cleanse my soul.

I had accepted Jesus into my heart without a second thought. In that water I was "buried" in the likeness of my father then rose up "resurrected" like Jesus did from the grave. It was a symbol of… of having a second chance at life. A new beginning of who I was and what was to come.

For example I am a lot more accepting of drugs, smoking and drinking. I used to think that those who did that were just idiots, that I was above . I would pity those people. But growing up outside of the church, being able to chose how I feel and see things… I know that was unacceptable. Those who choose to do that to themselves shouldn't be judged so harshly. Those actions don't really define who they are. "Pot head" "loser" are uncalled for labels.

I will never part take in those decisions but I won't distance myself from those who do or shove my beliefs down there throats on the topic. If I am still respected then I'm good.

A good example to understand the difference between me and the followers of the church is when I fell hard for this guy. I had met him online, we talked for about a month and we just clicked. He has funny, sweet, but had a different view on religion. I'm not a fan of profanity or drug related decisions but I looked pasted his it all and focused on who he was, what made him him. I could clearly see what a fantastic guy he was, but my family who are in the other group seen him as an adolescent teenager that I should stray from. Here was this guy who made my heart drop, left my face soar from smiling and all my family could focus on were the little distinctions.


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