It must also be told that while I was born and raised in Budapest, Hungary, I was an anglophile as early as I remember. My reading and education both lead me to the English culture and literature. I have attempted to immigrate to England first and only after I was refused, I looked into emigrating to Canada or the United States.
Austin Spare died in the Spring of 1956 and I was born in December 1956.
Spare died of a burst appendix and while I've never overly concerned myself with my health, the concept of appendicitis, inexplicably has always gave me alarms. I would guess our dying leaves an imprint, a memory that sometimes stays around and can get carried over into the next incarnation.
My life and childhood was non-typical for a Hungarian youth. I was very self-conscious and inhibited with women but I was drawn to older women for comfort and sex. This pattern is a prepetition of Spare's sex life. I never had any homosexual experience nor the inclination or curiosity but I had certain effeminate characteristics that gave out false signals and I was approached by gay men throughout my life. This is also a very Spare-like attribute.
I loved doodling and drawing of pictures of animals and persons. My mother encouraged my artistic persuasion while my father told me that I needed to learn something I could support myself with. In addition to drawing and painting I loved cats and other animals as well. I was frequent visitor in the Zoo.
After discovering my past life I begun reading and studying the life and works of Austin Spare and wanted to go deeper. I wanted to know what was before Austin Spare. Who was he/us, before that time? This overactive curiosity eventually got the better of me. I stated imagining things and started actually believing them. Of course there is no proof or definitive verdict that I was Austin Spare. I believe in my own instincts and inner guides, coupled with certain facts about me that I know, that others might consider lesser importance, would not believe the same way as I. This paper or my book is not about convincing anybody. Certain people who are predisposed against the idea of reincarnation and karma would never believe my story, no matter how much convincing I could muster. Similarly, those who are friendly towards the idea of reincarnation would find my story completely plausible and believable.
The idea of writing a fictional story - partially based on biographical facts, largely based on imagination and the freedom of the novelist. Ideas expressed via a novel do not need to be explained, rationalized or proved. They have to be told, interestingly and with believable and well developed characters.
Figure 1Austin Spare as a young man.
The Synopsis of the Novel
"During the cold war, Mihai finds himself an orphan and a new immigrant in America. When there is a shooting during their daring escape attempt on the border of Yugoslavia and Italy only Mihai manages to esape. He finds himself in America alone and without a clear purpose, playing poker and using his magic to get buy. Mihai is discovering that he is also a natural magician. Through the power of his will and imagination he can conjure up cards. After a while Mihai's skill to do magic is gradually fading and he must find work. After a series of attempts to find happiness in self-indulgence and gaining material wealth, he finally finds his purpose and solace after a chance encounter with Raphael, an old and mysterious man in Ashland, Oregon. When Raphal, who is also a spiritual teacher, reveals to Mihai that he is the reincarnated Austin Osmond Spare(AOS), the Edwardian painter and occultist. This revelation changes our protagonist forever. Researching the life and deeds of AOS leads him further into the occult. When Raphael dies, before he has a chance to Initiate him, Mihai's life again becomes disoriented. Gradually he starts making contacts with the subtle world, where he receives guidance and instructions. Is he in contact with his Guru or something more sinister? Is he losing his mind or his visions are real? Will he find out his life's karmic lesson that his past self has now to learn in order to move up on the "spiritual ladder" and find peace and joy, or will he repeat the "class" again? ...
This serial book will be re-titled and republished as Reincarnation of Austin Spare: from Chaos to Order
Now this book is being published as a serial novel - by chapters on Amazon, KDP Select (free for 5-days).
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This book is about Magic, Reincarnation and Karma while coming of age.