I will admit that I do follow the crowd, even though that, in and of itself, is a paradox. I have entered a state of quiet desperation, as Henry David Thoreau so eloquently put it, so profound, that the reason of my existence has entirely escaped me. My fingers have unconsciously grasped at an answer already lost to the deepest recesses of my mind, the likes of which, I wouldn’t understand I found it.
After reading about the great transcendentalist philosophers, Emerson and Thoreau, I found myself thinking on a deeper level than I have ever experienced. My mind was clear and a fresh stream of ideas soon inevitably followed. I was beginning to form questions from something I would have thought irrelevant. I began to see society in a different light and I began to disagree with many things. Most of all, I began to see myself. I could see my strengths and, in turn, my weaknesses. Every time I look into the mirror I see myself as an individual, so entirely unique, that I find it impossible for me to belong in any one group. Yet I still follow the crowd and all of its rules. Why? Because I, like many others, am afraid of change.
I praise Emerson and Thoreau for being able to face and embrace change so completely. Anyone would be hard pressed to accomplish what he or she did. Thoreau once wrote, “It is remarkable how easily and insensibly we fall into a particular route…” it is remarkable how simply man’s greatest flaws can be worded, but a very simple statement like this is enough to bring people out of their quiet desperation to a very loud riot, including myself.
After reading about Emerson and Thoreau, I saw my answer farther than before. It was as if the more I knew, the less I understood. The more questions I formed, the more complex and far the answer will be. I have set myself to answer these questions, so that, in time, I might reach my answer. I might never find it, but my search might lead me to things of such momentous greatness, that I can’t help but keep walking my pace. Thoreau wrote, “let him step to the music which he hears, however measured of far away.” I will keep walking at my pace, and no matter how leak the circumstances might come, I will keep going, answering one question at a time.