Okay so I'm pretty much sick and tired of being sick and tired… I think I'm getting better, then WHAMOO! I get a cold or sore throat… Or both.
Now I know, you are all probably thinking, 'Oh my gosh stop complaining!' And you're right I should. But I have thoughts I need to get out one way or another. And don't worry I'll only be complaining for the first little part…
For some reason I've had this feeling, since I learned I had to have surgery that God has been trying to show me or teach me something. Depending on what way you want to look at this, I've been sick for over a year. My first bacterial infection was last august. I got medication for it and it went away. I had little sore throats here and there until May. Our last choir concert was in May and awards were being handed out so I was cheering on my friends. I got another bad sore throat. This time they said I probably was straining my voice so that's why it was hurting or brought it on. So they gave me a different kind of anti-biotic…
This continued for a few more months, until August of this year. They sent me to a throat specialist, and he said based on my records, I need my tonsils and adenoids removed. The surgery is set for September 19th.
Yesterday I caught a cold and my sore throat came back. So I'm doubly blah right now. But back to what I was saying with God showing me something…
I've watched the news, I've read the articles, and I've seen the pictures. There are children everywhere with diseases so bad, they're killing the children. In Africa, In the USA, everywhere. I'm always praying to God to look over those in need and to bless them with His presence, to let them know that they aren't alone.
I know that their pain is bad, but how could any of us fully understand it? We've never experienced any of it. What I've been wondering lately is this…
What if God is showing me just a pinch of my own pain so I know a little more about how they're suffering? Yet they still pray to God, still sing praises to Him. Maybe He's testing me to see if I'll trip and fall. And I'm going to admit it. Today I wanted to really badly. My will power was dying, and I just wanted to give up. But did I? No. Because I remembered those pictures, articles, and news casts. I remembered those children who have it so much worse than I do. So here I am still standing. Maybe I'm leaning a little bit, but I'm not on my knees. I'm not in the darkness that was pushing at me today, trying to overpower me. I'm still in God's love, in His light.
If He's testing me, I know He won't be disappointed. I may trip now and then, and hey, I may even fall. But I know I'll always get back up. I'll always keep going, even if I'm crawling. I'll fight the darkness and I'll win. Because I have the most powerful weapon on my side. And that weapon is God. He'll fight with me forever and always, and we'll always win. =)
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