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If God is testing me, He wont be dissapointed...

By: Chicka19
Religion and Spirituality


Darkness was stalking me, poking at me, trying to find my weakest point. I was about to fall until I remembered.

The darkness is still following me, just waiting until I stumble. But for now I'm still in His Light. Forever will I be in His Love... View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Sep 14, 2008    Reads: 62    Comments: 10    Likes: 6   


   Okay so I'm pretty much sick and tired of being sick and tired… I think I'm getting better, then WHAMOO! I get a cold or sore throat… Or both.

   Now I know, you are all probably thinking, 'Oh my gosh stop complaining!' And you're right I should. But I have thoughts I need to get out one way or another. And don't worry I'll only be complaining for the first little part…

   For some reason I've had this feeling, since I learned I had to have surgery that God has been trying to show me or teach me something. Depending on what way you want to look at this, I've been sick for over a year. My first bacterial infection was last august. I got medication for it and it went away. I had little sore throats here and there until May. Our last choir concert was in May and awards were being handed out so I was cheering on my friends.  I got another bad sore throat. This time they said I probably was straining my voice so that's why it was hurting or brought it on. So they gave me a different kind of anti-biotic…

   This continued for a few more months, until August of this year. They sent me to a throat specialist, and he said based on my records, I need my tonsils and adenoids removed. The surgery is set for September 19th.

   Yesterday I caught a cold and my sore throat came back. So I'm doubly blah right now. But back to what I was saying with God showing me something…

   I've watched the news, I've read the articles, and I've seen the pictures. There are children everywhere with diseases so bad, they're killing the children. In Africa, In the USA, everywhere. I'm always praying to God to look over those in need and to bless them with His presence, to let them know that they aren't alone.

   I know that their pain is bad, but how could any of us fully understand it? We've never experienced any of it. What I've been wondering lately is this…

   What if God is showing me just a pinch of my own pain so I know a little more about how they're suffering? Yet they still pray to God, still sing praises to Him. Maybe He's testing me to see if I'll trip and fall. And I'm going to admit it. Today I wanted to really badly. My will power was dying, and I just wanted to give up. But did I? No. Because I remembered those pictures, articles, and news casts. I remembered those children who have it so much worse than I do. So here I am still standing. Maybe I'm leaning a little bit, but I'm not on my knees. I'm not in the darkness that was pushing at me today, trying to overpower me. I'm still in God's love, in His light.

   If He's testing me, I know He won't be disappointed. I may trip now and then, and hey, I may even fall. But I know I'll always get back up. I'll always keep going, even if I'm crawling. I'll fight the darkness and I'll win. Because I have the most powerful weapon on my side. And that weapon is God. He'll fight with me forever and always, and we'll always win. =)


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Comments:

What a lovely little, Monday pick-me-up! A delightful read full of promise and hope. Keep your faith strong!

Wishing you a speedy recovery from your upcoming surgery and restful days recuperating, planning your next walk with the Master!!

Many blessings.....Jerry

Posted: Sep 15, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Jerry! My heart is full of faith right now, and it grew last night as I wrote this piece. =)
~Mandy

^_^ oh Mandy you are jsut so positive.
This is how we overcome; we are willing to see things in a different light.
Over a life time I have seen things in many different ways, for a while it helps me to see something in one perspective and then a year or two or 5 later the picture opens up even further and I can see not only that interpretation of it but I can see many, many more interpretations of that experience, and then I am jsut so grateful that i had the experience at all no matter how painful it may have been at the time.

Mandy you are a bright light shining, and inspiring.
I am so very glad to know you
~katie

Posted: Sep 15, 2008

Author Comment:

awwwwwww katie thank you! This came from my heart, and my knowledge of the world, no matter it be small. The more you learn, the more you dont know. I've had teachers tell me that a lot lately, and they're right. You find an answer, and then later on it broadens. Thanks again katie! =)
~Mandy

DEAR MANDY, I would love to have u as my friend for life too...do accept my friendship and loads of BEST WISHES....u know what just like you, i am suffering...and i also decided today 'enough is enough'...with Katie , Jerry and Classy and Urja and so many so many people and friends around me, i am back...i am back to normal ...may be tomorrow, i won't be...i may again fall...but just like what u wrote in the last line...GOD will be there like HE always has been....with ALL OF US and HE would help all of us...right?
here is a big big hug from me to you.....
GET WELL SOON BUDDY...U can lemme know ur medical progress at my e-mail and discuss ur doubts with me...

Posted: Sep 15, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Pratibha! Hang in there and everything will be okay! =) God is fighting with you! =)
~Mandy

Wow, what a very inspiring story...your a very strong person. I hope your surgery goes well!!! Me to have been very sick...i was born with huge tonsils, i mean huge they call them kissing tonsils because they touch each other...yea anyways I had my adenoids taken out qutie a while ago and many people are trying to convince me to get my tonsils taken out because any time I get a throat ache its like pretty bad...i can barely swollow but so far I refuse...but this makes me feel better...i think that I should feel blessed because I really do have it better than the kids over there...thanks for helping me see this in another way...i have always believed that god makes life a little harder on some people because he believes that they can handle it! Woot! I have made it this long and like you I will never let the darkness over come me! Anyways I have said enough about myself! Thanks once again and this was a great read! Loved it! And again I hope all goes well :D

Posted: Sep 15, 2008

Author Comment:

Wow! I'm thinking that your condition is worse than mine even! =) Well, I would have to agree with those saying getting them taken out... It's not so bad, I mean yes, It is scary, but right now, I just keep telling myself 'I'd rather have the surgery then have sore throats for the rest of my life.' In the end it will pay off. =) Thanks for commenting and reading! =)
~Mandy

The thing my dad like to say is "Watch over yourself and the God will watch over you".

This shows how strong and positive you are.

I know you'll be fine, so I wont wish you luck.

You know I would comment more but, you also know what I think about Him...

Posted: Sep 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Hmm... That is an interesting thing your dad says... =)
Dont worry I understand. =)
~Mandy

ah, wow, this is so wonderful! You're amazing, you know that?

Posted: Sep 19, 2008

Author Comment:

awwwwwwwww Mae thank you! =)

everyone has problems, we all have been hurt. but you cant let all this stop you, life sucks, pure and simple, but everyone has a way of surviving. you have god, your family and poetry and your writing, me, ive got my dogs, rock n' roll, sci-fi and red bull. its the little things. every ones life sucks to some extent, but we all find a way to survive and make it good again.
again, this was great work, im not trying to hog the spot light. fantastic job. you are a great writer. bravo.

Posted: Sep 23, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you alex. I really appreciate that. And you're right. Everyone has something even if it's the little things. I'm lucky. I have big things and little things. =) Thanks again. =)
~Mandy

hi! miranda.

1. MIRANDA: Although the name Miranda creates the urge to work in harmony with others, we point out that it causes a superior expression. Your name of Miranda gives you the desire to understand and to help others but, at the same time you can become too involved in their problems and, as a result, worry too much. You desire a home and family of your own and have the ability to create understanding and harmony in family association as you are pliable, forgiving, and tactful. You love children and would not hesitate to care for any children who might need you. Whenever possible, you avoid argument and turmoil because you prefer not to face an issue if it means hurting anyone's feelings.


2. MIRANDA WILCOX: There are 13 letters in your name. Those 13 letters total to 65. There are 5 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.

What your first name means: Spanish Female Admirable.
Shakespearean Female 'The Tempest' Daughter to Prospero.
Latin Female Worthy of admiration; wonderful. Young innocent girl in Shakespeare's The Tempest raised and educated on an isolated island by magician father.

Your number is: 11
The characteristics of #11 are: High spiritual plane, intuitive, illumination, idealist, a dreamer.

The expression or destiny for #11:
Your Expression number is 11. The number 11 is the first of the master numbers. It is associated with idealistic concepts and rather spiritual issues. Accordingly, it is a number with potentials that are somewhat more difficult to live up to. You have the capacity to be inspirational, and the ability to lead merely by your own example. An inborn inner strength and awareness can make you an excellent teacher, social worker, philosopher, or advisor. No matter what area of work you pursue, you are very aware and sensitive to the highest sense of your environment. Your intuition is very strong; in fact, many psychic people and those involved in occult studies have the number 11 expression. You possess a good mind with keen analytical ability. Because of this you can probably succeed in most lines of work, however, you will do better and be happier outside of the business world. Oddly enough, even here you generally succeed, owing to your often original and unusual approach. Nonetheless, you are more content working with your ideals, rather than dollars and cents.

The positive aspect of the number 11 expression is an always idealistic attitude. Your thinking is long term, and you are able to grasp the far-reaching effects of actions and plans. You are disappointed by the shortsighted views of many of your contemporaries. You are deeply concerned and supportive of art, music, or of beauty in any form.

The negative attitudes associated with the number 11 expression include a continuous sense of nervous tension; you may be too sensitive and temperamental. You tend to dream a lot and may be more of a dreamer than a doer. Fantasy and reality sometimes become intermingled and you are sometimes very impractical. You tend to want to spread the illumination of your knowledge to others irrespective of their desire or need.

Your Soul Urge number is: 8
A Soul Urge number of 8 means: With an 8 soul urge, you have a natural flair for big business and the challenges imposed by the commercial world. Power, status and success are very important to you. You have strong urges to supervise, organize and lead. Material desires are also very pronounced. You have good executive abilities, and with these, confidence, energy and ambition.

Your mind is analytical and judgment sound; you're a good judge of material values and also human character. Self-controlled, you rarely let emotions cloud judgment. You are somewhat of an organizer at heart, and you like to keep those beneath you organized and on a proper track. This is a personality that wants to lead, not follow. You want to be known for your planning ability and solid judgment.

The negative aspects of the 8 soul urge are the often dominating and exacting attitude. You may have a tendency to be very rigid, sometimes stubborn.

Your Inner Dream number is: 3
An Inner Dream number of 3 means:
You dream of artistic expression; writing, painting, music. You would seek to more freely express your inner feeling and obtain more enjoyment from life. You also dream of being more popular, likable, and appreciated.


3. Feb 16, 1993: Your date of conception was on or about 26 May 1992 which was a Tuesday. You were born on a Tuesday under the astrological sign Aquarius. Your Life path number is 4.

Your fortune cookie reads: Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. H.L. Mencken

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 6 & 7.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 3, 5 & 9.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2449034.5.
The golden number for 1993 is 18.
The epact number for 1993 is 6.
The year 1993 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/23/1993 and ending 2/9/1994. You were born in the Chinese year of the Rooster.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Otter; your plant is Fern.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Parmuthy, the fourth month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 26 Shevat 5753.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 27 Shevat 5753.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.19.15.10 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 19 tun 15 uinal 10 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Tuesday, 23 Sha'ban 1413 (1413-8-23).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 11 April 1993.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 18 April 1993.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 24 February 1993.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 30 May 1993.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 6 June 1993.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Thursday, 16 September 1993.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 6 April 1993.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 23 February 1993.

As of 9/23/2008 7:49:45 PM EDT: You are 15 years old. You are 187 months old. You are 814 weeks old. You are 5,698 days old. You are 136,771 hours old. You are 8,206,309 minutes old. You are 492,378,585 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Steffani Brass (1992) John McEnroe (1959) Ice-T (1958)
LeVar Burton (1957) Sonny Bono (1935) Patty Andrews (1920)
Hugh Beaumont (1909) Edgar Bergen (1903)

Top songs of 1993
Dreamlover by Mariah Carey That's the Way Love Goes by Janet Jackson
Can't Help Falling In Love by UB40 Informer by Snow
I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That) by Meat Loaf Hero by Mariah Carey
Again by Janet Jackson Freak Me by Silk
Weak by SWV (Sisters with Voices) A Whole New World (Aladdin's Theme) by Peabo Bryson & Regina Belle

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 2.23013698630137 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your lucky day is Saturday. Your lucky number is 4 & 8. Your ruling planet(s) is Saturn & Uranus. Your lucky dates are 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th. Your opposition sign is Leo. Your opposition number(s) is 1. Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 146 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 16 candles.

Those 16 candles produce 16 BTUs,
or 4,032 calories of heat (that's only 4.0320 food Calories!) .
You can boil 1.83 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1993 there were approximately 4.1 million births in the US.
In 1993 the US population was approximately 248,709,873 people, 70.3 persons per square mile.
In 1993 in the US there were 2,334,000 marriages (9%) and 1,187,000 divorces (4.6%)
In 1993 in the US there were approximately 2,148,000 deaths (8.6 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1993 the population of Australia was approximately 17,759,999.
In 1993 there were approximately 260,229 births in Australia.
In 1993 in Australia there were approximately 113,255 marriages and 48,363 divorces.
In 1993 in Australia there were approximately 121,599 deaths.

Your birthstone is Amethyst
The Mystical properties of Amethyst
Amethyst is used to increase spiritually
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Bloodstone, Onyx, Moonstone

Your birth tree is Cedar, the Confidence Of rare beauty, knows how to adapt, likes luxury, of good health not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, determined, impatient, wants to impress others, many talents, industrious, healthy, optimism, waiting for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

There are 93 days till Christmas 2008!
There are 106 days till Orthodox Christmas!
The moon's phase on the day you were born was waning crescent.

Posted: Sep 24, 2008

Author Comment:

uhmmmmmmmm you already gave me this, but thanks again. =)

Wow, I'm so glad that your faith in Him is strong! I know how it feels to be tested, but believe me, it feels great when its over and you stayed in Him. But I also want you to know that you don't have to go through it alone. If you don't have any one to help you through this feel free to email me at Pikachu2004P@aol.com I will be more then happy to help. I wont forget to pray for you, keep up the good work!

Posted: Sep 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Aw thank you Adam! My faith in Him is very strong. I remember when I truly found Him... The best day of my life I can tell you that. =) And now when I compare my life right now to when I didnt have Him... there are so so many differences, it's almost hard for me to believe it! =) Thanks Adam, I'll definatly email you if there's no one else around to talk to, or if I just need a friendly reminder. =)
~Mandy

YOUR POEM INSPIRED ME TO WRITE SOMETHING POSITIVE...U encouraged me to write positive THANKS

Posted: Sep 25, 2008

Author Comment:

I'm glad Pratibha =)
~Mandy



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