Us, Tomorrow's Society

Us, Tomorrow’s Society

Liberate this society, with impending doom
Deception blinds society, eclipsing true strength
Self loving society, holding love without faith
Liquid moral society, moves tides like the moon
Encumbered heart society, sinks in miry gloom
Judgment passing society, inspects from a length
Homicidal ruling society, can’t give health
Illusion clothed society, weaves lies with a loom

Suffering, calls us home, overlooked the penny of society
Avoidance, prosecuting us, casting common man into shadows
Courage, tutoring us, guides men to gold paved paths of a deity
Economy, guards us with it’s green shield, ransacking peaceful meadows
Defiance, receiving us, swords drawn for attempts at prosperity
Humility, eludes us, men with morals receive death tomorrow

Sorry about font size it wouldn't fit properly.

Comments:

Kred35

Perhaps I'm a bit older but seeing a mind of an 18yr old and your intense outlook of this world is way beyond what I could imagine of an 18yr old. That's just a nbr of course, but the maturity of one is incredible to me. Maybe, I've been in my own world a bit, and the fact I have an 11yr old, not quite a teenager. I'm very impressed with your maturity level and how you see todays society. My sentiments exactly!
Perhaps it's stereotyping and my apologies.....but You have given me a different light through your words, seeing through your eyes. How did you become so mature so quickly!...HA! I thought I knew a little bit, after reading this poem, and feeling the in-depth of your words? I know nothing....LOL!!

Posted: Jul 4, 2008

Author Comment:

I can recall my parents reading to me very young and I think this is something that modern societies are losing as well. My father have been teaching me multiplication and square routes at six or seven years of age somehow. It isn't teen years that determine who a child will be as a person. It isn't even after ten that really determines who a child is. The period in which they are so young and so susceptible to ideas instilled this is when they gain their values and levels of quick learning I will call it which may develop into what people deem intelligence. Intelligence is not really what it seems people with vast amounts of knowledge are not necessarily intelligent they just learn quickly and retain information well. I personally determine intelligence by situation analysis and reactions to scenarios and situation of life. The ability to observe things and understand how they work is the true ability we all need to regain. This ability to understand things is going to be something developed during childhood. This saying curiosity killed the cat. Curiosity makes us lack what we need the stimulation that asking how does this work. Why does this work that way the best thing you can teach someone in life is to question what they don't understand. This is somewhat straying from your point but not really it is somewhat relevant. It was funny for me growing up as a young teen I guess. I had always been mature for my age and I did not really have many friends my age by thirteen. I had begun to hang out with eighteen year olds. They were not necessarily the brightest they just weren't complete goof balls you could say. I have always had an interest in improving myself as a person and acquiring what my heart desires. These little sayings that we leave children's minds with if you put your heart to it you can do anything. Some of us say these as a inspirational mechanism to give them faith in the world. I think this is great but do the parents really believe this themselves. If you can't believe this yourself then why tell your child something that ten years later when they want to go to California and become an actor that it will never work it is one in a million. I believe this saying is so true but it is only true if we let it be and won't settle for less than our dreams. We are all susceptible to stereotyping it is a part of psychology. If we see the same result ninety seven percent of the time than it is so rare that we see the three percent we just put it in the back of our mind. I am not sure if there are many kids like me. I am going to have to leave a comment on my poem below this I am running out of word space.

B Leaf

I do find that kids and teens today are forced to grow older quicker. The maturity level in some of us is very immature up through high school. By the end of high school a majority of the immaturity has vanished. During this phase it is not necessarily the most mature phase but respectful just think college. There are no longer so called "bullies" or dumb pointless disrespectful things. Yes there will be you drinking partying and that but college it is the purgatory of maturity in my opinion. This is again not really corresponding with what you say I am somewhat ranting. This is going to be my writing for day twenty four in my novel. You teased my mind and got me thinking so thanks. It is not really a novel but I have made a dedication to write every day for the next year whether it be regarding words of wisdom my life story poetry outlooks on life any of these subject matters. It does have adult subject matter and on occasion really foul language. I just let me real voice show through in this so I use the language I would use. I am in my own world too it is nothing to feel bad about. I enjoy it because I can pretend my world is great. I am glad that you have the same feelings towards modern day society I am in an attempts boggling my mind to figure out how to begin my journey into inevitable death I will call it. What I mean by this is I am going to make the greedy people with money mad by starting to try to get the freedoms we deserve to have back for us. That isn't going to end well as you have seen for so many people fighting for human rights and civil rights. I am so glad that I was able to give you a different set of eyes to see through. If you do check out the novel It is called "18 to 19 Days in the Life of it" the entire purpose is to let people see through my eyes into my experiences in this life as an eighteen year old in 2008. This also covers values morals my past my present my dreams my future all aspects of my thinking. "I thought I knew a little bit, after reading this poem, and feeling the in-depth of your words? I know nothing....LOL!!" This portion touches me so much in all honesty. I can't put into words the pride and joy this gives me that maybe I can someday change the way we see. My heart is filled up to the brim with desire. I have laid the first brick in my long road, only the rest of a nation to go. Thanks so much for your wonderful comment. Best wishes take care.

Posted: Jul 4, 2008

sanyal29

please read my essay on truth and give your feedback.
thanks

Posted: Jul 5, 2008

Author Comment:

okie thanks for your "comments" I appreciate them.

ScatterBrain

That was very good. I had to read it few times. I have just started experimenting with poetry because I have always found it difficult to write and read it.

You certainly have a lot to say, and that project of yours, writing everyday, is a great idea. Some of it may be rant and some of it may be fodder for more writing. In the end it will be a true testament of your feelings for one year. I tried it, but it only lasted a week, at best. Maybe I will try again, my 44th birthday is in one week, that could be a good starting date. Thanks for sharing and keep it up. The only way to truley hone your talent is to write, write and write. Ted

Posted: Jul 6, 2008

Author Comment:

I am so glad that you liked it. It is always good to even experiment with things that are hard to you I find. This builds a sense of accomplishment. That and if you can do something that is so difficult it means you determination must be very strong. Thanks again on even reading it. I get discouraged some time thus far and it is really tough to keep going some days honestly. Other days just click and I will write nine or ten pages. I think you can really show who you are and what you think by telling your past your now your visions for the future. Recently today I posted my comedy and music video preferences I had only put up one comedian though. I thought it may be an interesting thing for people to look at. It is a very difficult thing to do as a project I have missed two days thus far sadly. I find it just great that you even made an attempt at it and if you do start again on your 44th let me know I would love to read it. Happy early birthday encase I don't have the chance to say it on your actual birth date. If you do start it don't fret if you miss a day here or there. Obviously don' make it intentional but if it happens just move on. I had tried my best to do it every day but inevitably life seems to get in the way some days. I will keep writing and thank you I am hoping this project does help me write better. I would some what call it a blog but it really isn't a blog. Seems to have been working so far. Thanks a bunch Ted I appreciate you taking the time to read what I have to say. Take Care Brian

Zia Jaycee

This is a really good and meaningful piece. I agree with you totally on your views of this society. Keep writing everyday...it will help you grow in who you are...:) -zia

Posted: Jul 6, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you for your comment and I plan on writing everyday that is a nice thing to say. I hope that it does Zia thanks for your comment take care.

bubbly

hi! bleaf. ur poem is a hard-hitting comment on the present decaying world, bereft of golden old value system. but a ray of light from emerge from this chaos.

keep writing for that is a pointer and reflection of our times. lol. ;-)

Posted: Jul 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Yeah this was the first poem I posted on this site. The reason I came here they didn't limit the length. :) It strikes true to some and most. It seems I have grown as we all do in writing. Much of my old writing is the same but different. The visions and concepts are the same but the conveyance is so evolved I guess. Thanks for the comment

jfm98

Wow! I sometimes feel that way about our society! But, wow! You captured many people's feelings in this ONE poem! Great job!

Posted: Jul 23, 2008

Carnation

It sums up well the paradoxes of current society. Each line lashes at the irony of our times.

Liberation via doom... love without faith etc... such things jolt the conscience of the reader. I admire how meticulously you have shaped your work to perfection.

Posted: Jul 28, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you it is rare that I write sonnets this is only the second I had written. I came up with and interesting theme and stuck with the constant use of society ect. I hope that I may jolt the conscience of the reader this is my emt paddle to wake us all up I guess you could say. Thank you for thinking that I shaped this into perfection that is such a wonderful comment. I appreciate your feedback and will read you poem and comment once I have the chance. Thanks B Leaf.

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Poem By: B Leaf
Religion and Spirituality

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Kred35

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B Leaf

sanyal29

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ScatterBrain

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Zia Jaycee

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bubbly

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jfm98

Carnation

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