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I wrote this for school, but I still like it. It had a poster which took me HOURS but here's the heart and soul of it! View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jul 18, 2008    Reads: 72    Comments: 15    Likes: 9   


Everybody has the ability to be immortal,

And death provides an unlikely portal,

It's your life, your soul to sell,

Will you be living in heaven, or dying in hell?


Heaven is a palace of pure emanating light,

Away from the world, from hell's endless night,

And the glimmering, shimmering king over all,

Sits on the throne in the radiant hall,



Hell at the other hand, smolders in fire,

Where the eternal death and sorrow there never expires.

With your feet ablaze and as your body roasts,

Endless screams will surround you and your horrendous host,


When you die, you won't have your family or friends,

You will be solo, so think about your life before it ends.


9

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Comments:

WOW! 0_0 I hate typing with a Wii !! X( Lemme try again!

Posted: Jul 18, 2008

How depressing!! I can't separate the stanzas! ;_; WHYY!!! I'll just have to use a computer somehow!! ι_ι

Posted: Jul 18, 2008

yonaika
(not registered user)

go to the library to use a computer!

Posted: Jul 18, 2008

Author Comment:

I would, but I'm quite busy. Blasted Wii!!

Five stars!!! yeah, try to seperate the stanzas...but other than that, it was great!!!

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

MY Wii WON'T LET ME!!

hey john-san its me hehe (claps) yay I liked it you know it is difficult to type on an iPhone too grrrr I keep typing the wrong letters aghhhh so yep. -courtney-san ,/../

Posted: Jul 20, 2008

Author Comment:

I'm glad you liked it. ^_^ I need a computer.

mmm very strong but good all the same, the rhyming takes the whole 'you will die" depressing thing about it, by hey I liked it! have to go back to school shopping so Im off bye!

Posted: Jul 23, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you! Yeah I rhyme to much, but it's true we will die....or be raptured. XD 0_o

Have fun with that!

^_^ i like it! awesome job! :D

Posted: Jul 23, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you! ^^

woah, this is amazing. so your the jhon joel talks about?

Posted: Jul 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Naw. At least I don't think so. I'm sure it's John H he speaks so highly of. No, I'm not the chair weilding John, but thanks for the comment.

*hug* i love it

Posted: Jul 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you.....er GiGi. I dunno maybe I should.

~~~~~MAGNIFICENT~~~~~

Posted: Jul 24, 2008

Author Comment:

0_0 a bit striaght foreward but thanks! ^_^

hi! john. extremely mature thoughts. worth emulating. lol. ;-)

Posted: Jul 26, 2008

Author Comment:

Umm Thank You Bubbly!

EkkkKKkkkkK!!!!! Wonderful Poem! That was just amazing. It's even more magnifacent to a believer, like my self and many others here, because it REALLY means something. The emotion in this poem is as powerful as the message, thats wat i really like about it~ : D

[claps]
[screams .."on-core oncore!"]
[hugs]
[bravo!]

L8er dude,
Sarah Rain

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

0_0.....thats the most powerful comment yet! Thank you! ^_^ I wish to post more, but I need a computer and my notebooks of poetry in the same place. This lousy Wii can't type worth a flip!

I found myself thinking of your poem today. It was just suddinly in my head. This is one of the best poems ever. ^^

Posted: Aug 15, 2008

Author Comment:

Really? I didn't think it made that much of an impact. +_+ T-thank you then! ^_^

*gasp*
O_O
oh my word!
astounding. simply astounding. your descriptions are right on our level and are simply beautiful.
what an amazing thought and impact this poem has..wow... you're going to be an amazing poet one day. don't ever stop writing

Posted: Aug 21, 2008

Author Comment:

^_^ thank you! Yeah everyone that has read this has said it makes a large impact. I had no idea! 0_0 I glad you like it!

Wow this is really good. Certaintly something to think about in life. Great job!

Posted: Aug 23, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks!



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