Overview: three unnamed construction workers--ONE, TWO and THREE. ONE is the professional "boss," TWO an ambitious international, and THREE is really just lazy.
(Lights fade on to show three construction workers. ONE and TWO are "working" diligently - ONE checking his clipboard diligently and TWO signaling an unseen truck with his arms - while THREE reclines against the wall.)
TWO (noticing THREE resting) Hey, whatchu doing?
THREE Stop botherin' me, dude, I'm sleepin'!
TWO Hey, whatchu sleepin for, man?
THREE Leave me alone.
TWO You gonna get in trouble.
THREE Dude, we work graveyard shift, on E470. Nobody's gonna care how hard I'm working.
TWO (Quietly) Hey, man. The boss is coming!
THREE (hops up and hurries over to TWO) Dude, the boss ain't here!
TWO (chuckles annoyingly) Hey, at least you working now like the rest of us.
THREE You're just standing there waving your arms in the air at no one.
TWO I been doing this for three hours, man. Maybe I get promoted to clipboard.
(TWO and THREE look at ONE)
ONE Whateva, guys. This is complicated stuff.
THREE (stepping behind ONE, talking to TWO) And this dude's just doing a word search. Neither of you's working.
ONE It's work related! See the title? "Things on the construction site"
TWO Hey, sounds legitimate to me.
THREE Lemme see that, dude. Hmm. I guess it is work related.
ONE Thank you!
THREE Hey, dude, look. There's "Shepherd" right there.
THREE Yeah, right there.
ONE What do shepherds have to do with construction workers?
TWO Hey, Shepherd Construction, man. Outta England.
THREE Pretty big, dude.
ONE How do you guys even know this?
(TWO and THREE look at each other)
THREE Cuz we're construction workers, dude.
TWO (stops waving his arms) Hey, time for my break. (He steps to the side and begins stretching erratically)
THREE Break from what, dude? You weren't even...you know what never mind.
ONE Kinda quiet tonight, huh, guys?
THREE (he sits down on the floor, resting his chin in his hand.) It's quiet every night. That's why I like this shift.
ONE Because we get nothing done, or because we have no chance of promotion? Or maybe because absolutely no one in this industry has ever taken us seriously?
THREE (yawning) Sure, yeah, whatever dude.
ONE I mean, what'd we do that the boss stuck us with graveyard shift? Or are we just that insignificant? We're all intelligent enough that (looks at TWO's erratic calisthenics) mostly all intelligent. Someone must see some value in us...right. (looks at THREE, who appears asleep.)
THREE (after a brief pause) Forget it, dude. We ain't nothing to nobody.
(The house lights drop to black and the workers cry out in fear.)
TWO Hey, I still got three minutes break!
THREE I'm awake! I'm awake!
ONE What's happening, guys?
(The spotlight beams down on the workers, showing them cowering together unmanly. A soothing female voice speaks to them.)
Angel Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
(a choral song resonates the auditorium, then the houselights return and the spotlight dims. The three workers realize their unmasculine behavior and hurriedly correct it. They are speechless until THREE breaks the silence.)
THREE Dude! What was that?
ONE An angel, I think.
THREE No, I mean what was that about? I couldn't understand that King James mumbo jumbo.
ONE She was telling us about the Messiah.
THREE The mess? What type of mess?
TWO "Good Tide, great Joy." She's selling cleaning products, man.
THREE Oh, yeah. My wife uses Tide and Joy at our house.
TWO You're not married, man.
THREE Okay, my momma, then. (to angelic light) Sorry, lady. Not interested.
ONE No, you guys. The Messiah - Christ the Lord - he's the one that's gonna clean up our mess, with everything. We've gotten ourselves in a mess with disobeying God, with losing sight of God's overall plan for humanity, with our countries fighting each other for self-centered reasons, (emphatically) with our leaders giving good people the dead-end midnight shift. The Messiah's gonna fix it all.
THREE But…she told us? She must have called Obama first, right? How about that preacher guy at our church? Do they know?
ONE I...don't know. Maybe we're the first to find out.
TWO Hey, first to find out! We gonna be famous! On the news, man!
THREE What should we do?
TWO Yeah, man. We've still got work.
ONE (throws down his clipboard.) Forget our job! Let's go see this Messiah. (he exits)
THREE Don't we need to RSVP or something, dude? (he exits)
TWO Hey, which news channel we calling to meet us?
(After TWO gets no response, he begins to follow them before spotting the clipboard on the stage. Smiling wide, he trots over to it and snatches it up, waving it in the air excitedly.)
TWO Hey, I promoted to clipboard!