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It's MY life FINALLY !!

Short Story By: Pratibha
Religion and Spirituality


Life lost it's meaning suddenly, Life was lifeless, clueless and baseless suddenly...
Just before I was going to get lost forever...GOD helped me revive and nurture myself through my friends Swati, Katie, Nonna (Susan) and my MOM...
Albeit unknowingly, my husband Sanjib too played a role in this TRANSFORMATION...
And my little angel Kriish is as usual always there for me...
Many of my booksie friends like Phoebe miller,Kaori, JAK, JERRY, Stephhlebreton, Zia and NIXIE helped me stabilise...

THANK YOU GUYS...IF YOU ALL WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THERE, I WOULD HAVE BEEN LOST FOREVER...
I Know GOD came to me through all of you...

May HIS rays of kindness help all of you...

View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Aug 12, 2008    Reads: 160    Comments: 39    Likes: 13   


THIS IS MY LIFE...
I have to
ACCEPT,
Surrender and
CONTINUE...living...

I should have accepted my life with thanks to my CREATOR

Instead I made a mess of my life...and in the process the lives of all those who are dependant on me...who look up to me...

for their survival...

This is The Best Life I could have ever had...
This is the Best Life which GOD chose for me...
Today my heart is filled with love and gratitude for MY GOD...
For making me strong to accept and carry on...and to STOP
Complaining
Whining
Comparing and
Criticising
Today, I confess...
Today, I Surrender...
Today, I Know thatSOMEONEup above would take care of me...
Forgive me MY LORD...Forgive me...
For doubting YOU...

You had always chosen THE BEST for me...

And All I DID WAS TO "be ungrateful"...

TODAY, I THANK YOU WITH ALL MY HEART and SOUL...
TODAY.....My search is OVER...
Today I realised that ...

I myself am responsible for all turmoil created...

For NOT realising that THE PARADISE, I have been searching for is right within me....

Right within my soul...

Slow down, Julie...
Open your eyes altand EMBRACE life...
Open all closed doors and let the fresh breeze of knowledge wash away ignorance...

Open your eyes and take in the beauty of the sunflower patch right in front of your window...

GOD will never be unfair and partial to any of HIS creation...

What I believed was what I got...

THANK YOU for forgiving me...THANK you for loving me...
I have started walking on this path shown by YOU...
With a BIG SMILE on my face...
With Confidence...AND
With Dignity...
I would try to soar high in the sky and reach YOU...
I would try to be the life force, YOU always wanted me to be...
I would try to be

I, Me, Myself...

Footnote: this is a short story cum poem...One poem-story...

Please donot hesitateto contribute and suggest changes...


13

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Comments:


Thinking of you.
Susan

Posted: Aug 12, 2008

Author Comment:

I LOVE YOU TOO....
I HAVE NO WORDS TO EVER EVER THANK YOU....
YOU WERE THERE WITH ME THROUGHOUT THE ROUGH PATCH EVEN WHEN ALL I DID WAS TO GET MORE AND MORE DEPRESSED...
U never gave up mailing me...never gave up dropping me encouraging lines....and the words "SUPER pratibha" made me think - "is that me?" and
I am what i am today due to ur motherly mails and everyday prayers from you for me
is there a word larger and magnanimous than THANK YOU....

Hey Pratibha, didn't know you were going through a rough time....sorry....but glad to see things are turning out to be better. A great inspiration.

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

Hey Buddy, don't be sorry, please....
I was under tremendous depression these last 12 days and was on medications....how would u know honey, i never told anyone...
I was feeling guilty for pouring out my worries on my friends...
Mom says - If u cannot give anyone happiness, don't give them sadness via ur depression.
i promise when i would be really really down, i would call you....this is my promise...this time i recovered....buddy
don;t feel sorry...u know how much i ADORE YOU...right??

Pratibha yes I did sense you were not "yourself" - as you know I have been in wierd places in my life. I so understand, if it helps I am sure this will pass with patience and guidance and trust. We all mess up unintentionally or because of circumstances - look into my kind eyes, the only person I was never kind to was me!! Take care buddy.

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

u r so very true ANNA....each words are like GOD is talking....

PS - I hope you see me before I change back into a butterfly!!!

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

SURE...ANNA....I WOULD LOVE TO COME....

Hang in there, buddy! So good to see your turn the corner. I know how much this poem is worth because I have seen the previous, yet unpublished one which you had written when you were really down. It takes a lot of courage to get up and start walking again. And you are doing it so well.

I love the line: "What I believed was what I got...". Very, very true - most of the time we live in the prisons of our own making, and the day we decide to set ourselves free, we are truly liberated.

Glad to see that you are getting back on your feet again. You go, girl!

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

AND U KNOW WHAT, U HELPED ME SEE SUNSHINE.....
U KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT WE BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH...

I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time. Never doubt that you are being thought of, prayed over, and lifted up by those you know, and even some you don't.

I have a favorite Bible verse that I cling to in the darkest of days. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."

Morning's coming dear friend. Sheryl

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

SHERYL, THIS VERSED IS MY FAV HENCEFORTH...IT IS SO VERY TRUE...
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING TO ME buddy...
WHEN I HAVE FRIENDS LIKE YOU, WHAT WILL HAPPEN...NOTHING BUT GOOD AND ONLY GOOD AND THEN THE BEST....
THANKS...
*HUGGING YOU*

Oh, what a lovely poem. I could hear you standing next to me telling me what is in your heart. Which I guess is what a poem is all about, yes? I have to be honest and say that I see a lot of myself in that poem: the whining and complaining that is. You have made me think. Maybe I should be more happy for what I have and be grateful for it. Thank you for sharing your epiphany!

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

what a lovely word "EPIPHANY".....
THANKS EM....Do u know what u have done by listening to my advise and corrections for ur baby novel....THANKS FOR BELIEVING IN MY POTENTIAL....THANKS
*TEAR FILLED EYES*
Where were u all these days....I MISSED YOU SO MUCH...

So Beautiful. Don't worry, everyone gets down, falls in a rut, goes back on a promise, or even forgets someone is always there. We are human, it is our nature to make mistakes. All we have to do is learn from them (Even though sometimes we really don't want to).

I am so happy to hear that you are feeling better. I'm glad I could help in any way possible.

~Kaori

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

THANKS BUDDY...U have no idea how much u have uplifted my spirits....THANKS KAORI FOR "JUST" being there....

so lovely...so inspirational, you always have that drive to keep going, and you always see the light one way or another. Kudos to you for many things. Like OHSHCKaori said, we are human and we make mistakes. It takes alot to recognise them and keep going, trying every day to get better. And you always seem to get there!
Rough times come but they always go, I love your writting!
Steph(:

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

*tears*
Thanks buddy....U DID HELP ME LOTS BY BEING THERE FOR ME SELFLESSLY...
THANK YOU....

Pratibha I have a poem I wrote when I was very depressed - depression is beyond our control and yet it is a time we chastise ourselves most for feeling that way. I threw a lot of old writing out recently and that may have been one gone but I know I began it "I am not unloved or wanting" - in other words "what right have I to feel this way"? I will try and find it because I think you will relate. You will know how so many others battle with depression and how difficult it is to lift. For me, your fighting spirit is inspiring - I also see a lot of you in me thinking "I myself am responsible for all turmoil created..." - Pratibha this is not true on many levels. No-one invites depression. No-one chooses it. We should not beat ourselves up about it.
Oh gosh, I hope I'm not coming across like a cross mumma bear but I do so want you to accept that being blue is not something we conciously do to ourselves.
Sail on the happy times Pratibha, you deserve them so much.

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

*smiling* at ur concern regd 'cross mama'.....let me relax you....ANNA...NO u r NOT....yes u r so right buddy.....
i feel so angry on my own self that i forget to forgive myself....i hope i made some sense

THANKS HONEY....i would surely do as u said....and there is no stopping and brooding NOW

hi! pratibha. GET WELL SOON

I’m sending this to let you know
I think of you each day,
And pray for your recovery,
Hoping soon you’ll be okay.


You’re going through a lot right now;
Your treatments can be trying;
Remember while you do them
It’s your problem you’re defying.


Hold on to your positive attitude,
And when things get hard to bear,
Know that I am here for you
Remember that I care.


And when you’re well and flourishing,
Look back and realize,
You learned what you were made of
That’s a reward that satisfies!


I believe in you; You can do it!

take care. cheers. ;-)

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

what a sweet and lovely surprise...thanks Bubbles...
If i had nit fallen sick, i would hve never realised how much i am loved ...i feel so ashamed of myself as to 'so many people in boosie love me and i wish i be strong for them'....'get up and not not get lost in self pity'.....

Oh my! That you who always make me feel brave and strong and talented should feel so low down and not yourself... i feel trapped by time and distance that i could not help you. I will pray for you and continue even when you regain yourself....You have wonderful passionate heart and I would miss you if you stopped being you..

julistar

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

no honey, u r always near me...try that...
i would miss u if u forget me...and i am sure , my ghost would remind you about me...HA HA HA...I AM HERE IN UR HOME...HA HA HA>..*NAUGHTY GRIN*

I was drained and lost...just lost...may be over thinking

^_^ This is a HUGE turn about ^_^
this has made me feel SO good, to hear you speak these things. I am so very happy Pratibha, so very happy.
we will still go on with the prayer as planned IF that is ok with you. I truly hope so.
~katie

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

everything you have planned for me is GREAT, AWESOME and not okay, my lovely katie...u know what, all your planning has started this vibration...all ur planning and prayer and love and trying to gather fire flies of positivity....

they r coming katie, they...are....

Wonderful! Rightly so your name means "Talent"

Here are some lines exclusively for you ---

Grief may spread it's wings to fly
No loss no pain shall make us cry
Devil may dance in burning night
Still the fire is full of light

Posted: Aug 14, 2008

Author Comment:

u know what this comment reminded me of my MOM and Granny who are always so so damn positive even about bomb blasts and cyclones etc....

THANKS "K"....see u soon on ur page...Waiting for getting well soon and get back to my work....of reading really really heartfelt POSTS ....THANKS "K "

Some of our best writing comes in dark times. This is a beautiful poem and you are a beautiful person, Pratibha!! Don't ever lose sight of that.

Other people, whether it be friends or family, can only help make you happy momentarily. When you look in the mirror or kneel at your bed, YOU must believe in yourself and know that you are beautiful and worthy. God does not make ugly!! He did not create you to leave you alone during difficult times. He waits for us to talk to Him, to praise Him and thank Him

It is so good to read your writing again and hear and feel your words of happiness.

YOU ARE A SHINING STAR IN A SKY OF DARKNESS!!!

Wishing you Peace, Love and many blessings.....Jerry

Posted: Aug 14, 2008

Author Comment:

i am going to PHRAME THIS COMMENT AND HANG IT RIGHT IN FRONT of my eyes...so that i keep reminding myself that i am loved and i am needed by my friends - why to be sad if there is no help from my family and my husband excpet for getting me my medicines and washing their hands off the responsibilty of mine....
i have to stand up on my own and MY FRIENDS and Kriish would help me....
and u won't leave me too...right??

PS: I forgot to mention... Yes, this sketch is not what I really look like but I loved the drawing... one of these days I shall reveal a picture of the real me. I haven't found one yet that is worthy of sharing! LOL

Posted: Aug 14, 2008

Author Comment:

ANYTHING from you is WORTH sharing buddy...i am sure u would be surprised to see how we all are waiting eagerly....

Comes from all angels like a light show

Posted: Aug 14, 2008

Author Comment:

THANKING YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART....What a pleasant surprise...THANKS buddy

I cried a little! I hope and pray for good times for you soon! U seem like an awsome, sweet, loving person, and I never want harm or sadness to come to u!
With lots of love and hugs,
jfm98

Posted: Aug 15, 2008

Author Comment:

i I need lots andlots of them buddy,....i am lonely in my real life but for friends like you on Booksie....i wish our friendship grows ...do feel free to share ur feelings with me....when u need someone to talk to....
my e-mail id is in my profile page...oky??

Hi Pratibha! It's very emotional, but it also holds alot of meaning. I really hope you are feeling well, and God is taking care of you. Hold him close in your heart, as he has held you close in his arms ;). There are many who are watching over you, although they may seem like they're not there. There are many challenges that will have come in our path, and we should take it head on, with the best of our ability, and with the best intentions. Take care!
~ Ant

Posted: Aug 15, 2008

Author Comment:

u r so young but ue words are so so powerful and helpful
thanks buddy...little angel.....

Whew! She's back! And writing up a storm!
I offered you a few moments of myself this morning... it was an emerald light flowing....I do care...and am happy to feel your healing. You are not alone!

Posted: Aug 15, 2008

Author Comment:

AND U KNOW WHAT I AM SO UNLUCKY THAT I DON't HAVE ANYONE who can take me for a long drive and that too can feel me physically....and enjoy his/her time with me virtually....that is the main reason why i was LOST , i guess...then i realised that I was running after things i can never get...WHY NOT REJOICE IN MY RELATIONS ON-LINE...So what if we can not talk and relax over a cup of hot coffee and a lovely quiet evening...We r in each other's thoughts since i am surely getting the VIBE of friends around me, asking me to GET up and Get going....ALWAYS...they there is SOMEONE WITH ME...I AM NOT ALONE...
THANK YOU PEACHY...MY LOVELY PEACH...THANK YOU SO MUCH....

hey . this was a great short story God bless you. and i hope everything will be well with u.
i'll send some prayers upto God for u. you are in my prayers

Posted: Aug 15, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you so much honey...i am sorry for the delay in checking the link sent by you....i was not at all in any form...i had never experienced anything like this in my life...
i am glad i am back....and MY FRIENDS were always there 4 me, by me, and beside me and behind me....thanks honey

this is a great inspirational poem! U SHOULD TAKE THAT CAUTION ITS BOROING THING OFF THE SUMMERY BECAUSE I TOTALLY DISAGREE!

Open all closed doors and let the fresh breeze of knowledge wash away ignorance...
i luved that line! bad times may come but u have to rise against it because when u step back u can never return again! i luved this poem! i gave it a vote because it deserves a hundered!

Posted: Aug 16, 2008

Author Comment:

OH MY GOD...this comment is so heartfelt....never thought of this....always dilly dallying in self pity i guess...time to change with the help of friends like you...

A BIG A BIG TIGHT HUG....THANKS BUDDY....

Pratibha, Your poem is a testament for us all, and I personally thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing such an heartfelt prayer. I know God has healed and blessed you because your light shines brightly..

You are a star.. May God keep blessing you so others can find their way.

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

the word STAR made me feel more confident and i know u would be there for me whenever i would call u....i know that...u r GOD sent for me...too...

...
(not registered user)

YOU ARE ALWAYS LOVED MOM. :)
-Alex

Posted: Aug 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Alex...Is that "YOU" ??

hi Pratibha:) i havent't been around lately. hope you're fine now... be happy:D God bless

Posted: Aug 19, 2008

Author Comment:

HI buddy...thanks for coming to see me..i am so sorry...did not have time to tell anyone regd this post
Narrowly escaped black hole....
Love of friends like you revived me...thank YOU

devi prasad
(not registered user)

SIMPLY AWESOME... U CAN SURELY HANDLE WORDS TO CREATE A FEELING!!!!!!!

Posted: Aug 26, 2008

Author Comment:

I knew u would come Bhai...u would never let me down. Thank you so much...

Hey pratibha,
never knew u were so...depressed.
Thank god that u r coming thru...
Need any1 to talk to,remember i am here.
Iam sure that wnt b a prob coz v both stay in india and me in hyderabad.
Do let me knw if u want my no. Or gv ur no. If u want to talk. My id is husnatayyab at gmail dot com.
Get well soon buddy.
My prayers are with u.:)

Posted: Aug 28, 2008

Author Comment:

THANKS HONEY...will do so...I wish I was in India when i feel lonely....

Hi!
I didn't know that you were in trouble. I'm sorry and wish you luck.
I was very much busy with my exams, but they're going on well and i just had a little time for booksie.
thank God I got time to wish you luck!
Good luck and GET WELL SOON.

Posted: Aug 29, 2008

Author Comment:

THANKS RIO...don't worry, stay in the world of Innocence,,,the world of adults is very complicated...i wish you rise and shine...okay? Relax...

Beautiful words and a wonderful thought.^^

He always loves to put a smile on your face and now...
HE SMILES back at you. :-)

Posted: Sep 5, 2008

Author Comment:

I LOVE YOU JADEY...I NEEDED THIS LOVE AND SUPPORT AND THERE U R...always THERE FOR ME....I don't have enough words to THANK YOU...I have prayer in my heart for you, friend....STAY WELL AND KEEP SMILING

wow, this is also amazing. it came straight from your heart, it's just so great! everyone feels bad once in their lives, but getting better is the best! Keep smiling for me! love you!

Posted: Sep 8, 2008

Author Comment:

AND I MISSED YOU SO MUCH...THANK YOU FOR COMING HERE ..thank you....so much

Di today i want 2 tell u sumthng....u were d fist author whose writings i read in booksie...& then only i decided 2 join booksie...u r loved by all& will always be loved.One more thing- always remember dat 'WHAT U R IS GOD'S GIFT 2 U & WHAT U MAKE OF YOURSELF IS UR GIFT 2 GOD'. V all wud like 2 be a better human so dat v can try of thinking abt giving ourselves 2 god...v r so humble w.r.t. His kindness & His love.

Posted: Sep 9, 2008

Author Comment:

THANKS LITTLE ONE...UR comment are so innocent that it brings joy inside my home....thanks honey bunny

Sambit Adhikari
(not registered user)

Nice one

Posted: Sep 11, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks DIPS...wht a surprise to see u here amidst ur busy schedule...THANKS BUDDY

Yes, always let God be your guide. He was my guide as well and I've finally realized my true worth and how much I have in my life. Beautiful poem, as always. May you continue to be lead by God and I hope my prayers and love reach you every night. Love ya!

Posted: Sep 15, 2008

Author Comment:

YES IT WILL because MY INNOCENT ANGEL has also been sent to me by HIM....right??
When I have friends like you, do i need to worry ?? Never ever....I LOVE U HONEY BUNNY

Our Father is always walking beside us, guiding us. Just remember that everything happens for a reason... Maybe what happened, happened to have you grow closer to God?

I'm glad you're better Pratibha! =)

Posted: Sep 15, 2008

Author Comment:

you are right honey..ur post indeed helped me lots too....THANKS HONEY BUNCH

Ooh, this is beautiful. I'm glad that you feel so enlightened Pratibha. It must be a wonderful feeling to get through a rough time like that, no? well, very good poem.
~Elz

Posted: Sep 16, 2008

Author Comment:

YES HONEY IT WAS AN EYE OPENER....THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING BUDDY...THANKS A TON..HOW HAVE U BEEN LATELY ?

What a beautiful ourpouring of love, honesty and gratitude. Praise himm yeah!

craaig

Posted: Sep 17, 2008

Author Comment:

THANKS CRAAIG...THANK YOU

i never even realized you were going through a tough time...i feel bad now. but its not like i couldve done much, since i didnt know. im happy to see that things are getting better for you. ive been noticing my lifes been getting a bit better too, now that i finally have a couple of really good friends again.
anyway, beautiful. seriously, it pulled at my heartstrings. great job! =D

Posted: Sep 17, 2008

Author Comment:

THANKS HONEY. THANKS FOR COMING OVER.Each and every comment mean so much to me.

So sorry i'm late.. . but this is very beartiful.
i wann give you a nice big bear hug!!!! **HUGS!

Posted: Sep 18, 2008

Author Comment:

I need that HUG sweety....really ....THANKS * HUGGING BACK*

>hugs<

reading this comes with perfect timing for me. It reminded me that when I feel alone, all I have to do is remember God is right there. Thank you!

Thinking of you,

Posted: Sep 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Hi ANN...u r right honey...i feel so depressed sometimes but then i think GOD helps all of us who have faith in HIM...THANKS BUDDY



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