I would like to dedicate this to everyone
who had been hurt by someone they cherished ,
and also to these at the other side of it .. It takes two to play the game ..
I thought you were different , but turns out you are just the same .
How many people had lost friends , or lovers .. ? How many of us had had high hopes in someone , and then one day it all was gone , and a very ugly reality of a person we thought we know , shows up ?
Life taught me that you can never really know someone , no matter how long you are with them , how deep you get to know them , that doesnt at all mean that you had been put face to face with their reality. You might spend years getting to know someone , and it all ends up being meaningless , while one second , one moment .. one act , can reveal what's really hidden under the layers and layers of them .
I am not superman , and i am anything but perfect , but at least i know what i am , and what i am not , what i have , and what i still need .. It shocks me to think of the number of people who really dont know any of that , some spend years trying to understand the person they ended up being , and yet fail .. We all fail at some point , but at least we are trying , others think that a mirror and the reflection they saw when they woke up in this morning , is all they need to know who they are , but tell me .. how deep is a mirror , really ?
I had been let down so many times , that i kind of forget what it is like to have someone have ur back , what it means to actually trust someone , and never think twice before depending on them .
Now , i dont really expect anything out of people , and with that acts of kinds and support turn out to be pleasnt surprises , instead of having to live through disappointment , failure , and loss .
You are my friend , but i cant really say that i know you. I cant help it , i saw the ugly face of life already , and things cant be the same again .
It hurts so much to trust someone , and then watch that faith you had in them , scatter in front of you , like a glass wall that crashes down , the noise it makes is defeaning , but the truth is , you dont hear any of that , because you are too taken by the bits and pieces that fall apart . It hurts when you see something so precious to you treated that way . Not when you gave away a part of you , when you trusted , and believed ..
No one has the right to judge anyone , nor tell them how to act . I am not asking you to be a saint or to wear a golden ring over your head , but all what i am asking from you is to be true with me .
Thinking about this , i cant but ask , how many of us really know what being true is ? Being true to our friends and family , being true to God .. being true to ourselves ?
You canr expect someone to be that with you , when they arent even honest with themselves ..
How can you give .. what you dont even have ?
So many people let us down , and life goes on , it always does .. We sometimes run into them again , we could talk .. and things could be back to normal again , but in the middle of that , i want to freeze everything , and take things back to that time when it happened ,
After all , and when you had been alone in your bed at night , didnt it occur to you how much you had hurt me ? How can you over look that .. ? How can you get over the words , what you had said .. hadnt these words bruised your lips as you said them ? Because they had cut right through me as i got them .
Just tell , for at least a second .. had you felt it ? Had you felt me ? had you felt a fraction of guilt , towards what you did .. ?
If you do , then i can at least think that you , know it , even if you didnt choose to tell me , then at least you do , inside ..
but if you dont .. and if you still think that it was nothing ,
if you still think that hurting me that way was your right ,,
Then .. i dont have anything to say ..
You are way too broken to understand what it means to be fixed ..
No one every dies from a broken heart ,
i had been hurt ..
But i am still standing ,
Thank God .. i am still standing .. and i will always be ,
What doesnt kill you , makes you stronger ..
and here i am ..
At least i can sleep in peace at night ,
Tell me how things are with you , where you are ...