Riding down the empty street with
the wind blowing in my hair felt nice for the first time in the
longest time. My mother Tracy had just recently kicked me out of
her house and she was driving me and my brother Beau to my
fathers house. I didn't know how to react to this. Other then, I
was hoping that my father wouldn't take it to badly since I
hadn't visited him in almost a year. I needed the piece and
silent. For once in my life I wanted to hear the wind glide
inbetween strands of my hair. The whole ride there was silent. My
mother had already cried her eyes out in the bathroom before we
left. Deep down inside I knew that this is what I needed to do. I
couldn't stay trapped in my mothers house any longer. It was a
trailer with two bedrooms. One bedroom was the parents and the
other bed room was for 4 children. All of them where much younger
then me, And very immature to the point they didn't understand
how to clean there room. Or so they played it off to be.
When we got to my fathers house, My
brother Beau and I walked up to the front porch door and knocked.
I remember the feeling of being so nervous. I hadn't seen him in
over a year, and surprise surprise, I was moving in with him.
When he answered the door he looked down to see we had a couple
of bags of stuff and he looked beyond us to see my mother was
standing up agiasnt her car. His eyes lit up and welcomed us
inside as he walked out to greet my mother Tracy. The last thing
I got to hear come from my mothers mouth was, I wash my hands of
them. Or step mother talked to us for a little bit, Until my
father richard came in. He smiled and sat down at the kitchen
table where we where all sitting.
"That wasn't very matture of your
mother to just drop you off here." He rubbed his hands
" I agree." I said slowly.
" Well we will see how it goes for the
next couple of weeks. Lets take one thing at a time."
The weeks turned into the end of
summer vacation when my father mentioned my mother wanted my
brother beau back and living with her. She hadn't mentioned me
but had mentioned that Beau is better off with her. My pain
towards leaving her turned into anger just for the fact that she
only wanted my little brother, and she was going to try and split
us up. She ended up calling us that evening making my brother cry
on the phone. He tried exsplaining that he just wanted to stay
with his dad and his sister. But she wouldn't take no for an
answer. I took a walk outside punching my fist hard up agiasnt
the stop sign at the end of the street, and by accident I sliced
my hand. I didn't feel a thing. I was so hurt that my mother
just wanted my little brother and that she didn't even mention
me. I kept thinking, I've been gone over two months and she
doesn't want me back? I felt so imcomplete. And for the first
time I felt like I had no one.
My brother ended up moving back
with my mother, while I stayed and transferred schools to Sacopee
Valley High. I got a tour of the school, It was so much smaller
then my last school and I was told there wasn't as many students
either. Which sent relief throughout my whole body the last day
of vacation. By morning I was up before anyone else. I had gotten
everything ready. By the time I had to wait outside my heart was
to my throat. my palms where sweating bullets. The bus was
crowded and I had to sit with a total stranger. When we got to
school, I only knew two people, My brother and a guy named Kenny
that I had met over the summer when I went to the beach.
Kenny was amazing, He walked me
around the school, showing me my classes and sitting with me at
lunch just so I wasn't alone. At the end of the day I slid into a
seat that was right across from my Step brother Damien. He was
talking to some guy so I left him alone. For the entire week I
felt so alone. All I really had was Kenny. I wanted more friends.
So by friday on the bus on the way home he was talking to the
same attractive guy. I rudely interuppted and said Hey. The guy
just looked at me and waved shyly. Hey he barely managed to say
"Damien are you going to interduce
us?" I asked.
"Uh sure, Brianna this is Joshua;
Joshua this is my step sister Brianna."
"Hi Brianna." he smiled.
His smile oddly sent the hair on the
back of my neck rise. I just turned towards the window and
ignored him. Untill we got to the end of the bus ride. I had
quickly glanced over to see his agenda book with his number
sticking right out at me. I memerized it in a second.
"Brianna what is our phone number, I'm
going to give it to Joshua so he can come over sometime."
I accidently said his number outloud
and then fixed what I said. As I slid out the door of the bus.
When i got home I got the usual qeustion from my step mother
"How was school today?" As Robin
unpacked the grocerys
"Today was just boring accept for the
fact I like this guy. His name is Joshua. He is so
She had heard all about him for this
intire week but I didn't care if people where getting old with my
obbsession. I was going to make him my boyfriend one way or
another. I just had too.
Kenny came over that night and I
tried exsplaining to him I wanted him to go over to joshua's
house to see if he liked me or anything. Kenny agreed and when he
came back he said that Joshua was out chopping wood for his
girlfriend. Oddly, My heart crumbled into a million peices and
ran inside crying. The next day I didn't get all dressed up like
I had been, My hair was a mess and I just didn't care. When I got
on the bus I sat alone luckily and I wrote Joshua A note.
You can stop giving me the cold
shoulder now. I'm new and I just want to be your friend. Well
hopefully we can get to know one another, if you want too sit
with me on the bus.
I ran by his locker while he was
standing there and handed him my letter. When I got on the bus
and waited he came on and sat next to me. I felt my face get
" I'm not giving you the cold shoulder
I've just been really busy." Joshua said gently.
" Oh well it felt like you
" I'm sure and If it seems like that
" No its ok." I smiled as we talked
the entire way home. Surprisingly he hadn't mentioned how ugly I
looked today, He seemed more interested in me because I looked my
We ended up spending a whole week
together getting to know one another till I found out that he
didn't have a girlfriend. I decided to ask him out. I wrtoe to
him asking him out and if he had turned me down that I would
still like to be friends. I had a whole weekend to wait for his
answer. On monday I dressed my best to impress and he handed me
the letter back to me. I was so nervous that he would turn me
down so I didnt look at it until I got to school and got into my
first period class. I read it and he had circled yes, I would
like to be your boyfriend. My heart felt complete for the first
time since I moved into the small town. I jumped up and down like
a little girl. I had never felt so happy in my life. I knew that
I wasn't going to try and mess this relationship up, He truly was
a couple weeks had passed when he
asked me to go to Homecoming with him. I said yes of course, As
my father had a hard time paying for the dress I wanted. The day
before the dance I was told I had to meet his family. I remember
getting off the bus and Joshua grabbed for my hand, He hadn't
held my hand before but he grabbed for it and we walked into his
house. His family seemed to accept me as he showed me his barn
full of Rabbits and goats. We talked for a couple hours as he
climbed on top of a old rusted swing set.
" Have you ever been in love before?"
" Ahuh. I have. what about you?" As he
swing to one bar to another.
" Ya once, But it ended badly."
He told me about his ex girlfriend as
I told him about mine. We talked about the dance and what color
flower I wanted. That night when I got home. I ran to my room
exhausted from the long day and just fell asleep dreaming of what
the next day was going to bring.
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