Thsi is about a not so happy couple
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Submitted: Jul 6, 2008
Reads: 122
Comments: 6
Likes: 1
Chapter 1
In a cold nite of October. A happy couple in a warm little house. The man's name was Ted. Ted was a strong youngbuissness man, but without his wife's knowing he was also a gravedigger. Except the people who's grave he dug were still alive. The woman's nameis Lisa. Lisais beuatiful young romantic woman. She worked part time as waitress. She was having an affair behind her husbands back with a very athletic man. He was a basketball coach but he was ripped and had a great personality. His name is Vince. That nite Lisa and Ted were talking to eachother about their days when suddenly the phone rang. It was Ted's cell phone. Ted answered " Hello". The man on the phone replied "buissness calls". Ted shot up immediatley and told his wife he must go to an imprtant meeting. Ted walked out of the room and drove away. As soon as he left Lisa called VInce. They talked a little and then Lisa hung up and got in the car to go to Vince's.
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Comments:
lol nice story line and starting base for the story; cant wait to read more
Posted: Jul 6, 2008
Why are all ripped guys named Vince!
Posted: Jul 6, 2008
Cool, the plot seems cool so far. Can't wait to read more. Also, you do have quite a few spelling errors, here and there, and a fewmissingspaces, but nothing that can't be fixed. I think it's always best to just write first, then go back and fix the spelling mistakes and typos. Don't worry about it.
Posted: Jul 6, 2008
NICE! I think it's pretty sexy! I'll keep reading on....
Posted: Jul 7, 2008
i enjoy this story very much...i hope you will write more and keep me updated when a new one is post
Posted: Jul 9, 2008
Well a good one by a plot, but you have decided to write the word 'night' as 'nite' which makes it look bad. Still quite interesting though.
And now, ad I've already said before, please comment on my work.
Posted: Aug 15, 2008
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