I walk through the houses with
imminent death clinging to the sides like the cob webs; disease
has rid any signs of happiness from the faces of people I know
and despise with my very being.
This used to be a happy house
with laughter and love but that's all gone now, there use to be
20, well trained maids who worked up in the manor house but now
there is only to people left after the disease hit they are all
dead now the happy faces now in the pit.
I am working in the master's
bedroom and I can see he is walking in the shabby gardens down
below window. I fold back his sheets and I see that they are
still fairly clean but I still change them and walk towards the
door. it is a very heavy door that is very hard to open so I have
to use my whole body weight to shift it open dust falls on my and
goes all over my apron and in my eyes angrily I blink out the
dust and rub at my apron it leaves horrible black streaks on it
and look horrible . I walk to the end of the dusty hall way and
up the steep stairs to my attic room; it is right at the top so I
can hear if he needs anything in the night. My room is a horrible
pea green colour and the wall dip up to the top so you have to be
careful not to bang you head on them if you sit up.
I looked at my creature like
table that had my quill and my writing paper in it .I sat on my
bed and got my sewing and lit my candle I sew until I could no
longer see what I was doing then I changed in to my night
clothing and got into my tiny iron bed and tried to sleep. Was
hoping that the master wouldn't need help tonight because the
whore he had been using since his wife died had also just died, I
had over heard him say how he wouldn't mind using his maids if he
needed it. I didn't want to go to home because the master had
once tried to seduce me.
I was lying in my bed room and I
heard the master ring the bell that had be put in my room. I knew
I had to go so I lit my candle with the flits next to it and walk
down the stair to his room. He was sitting up on his pillows and
he never once took his eyes of me as I push the heavy door shut.
He rose from his bed and bolted the door shut behind me.
felt him throw me on to the bed and then he began to try and push
up my night dress i tried to push him off but he was to strong
for me to move.I managed to twisted myself out of his arms and
ring the bell for the butler. The butler called william is my
friend i know he could help me if only i can keep away. I fell in
to a corner of the room and the master stood over me with a lear
,he said'this could be easy or hard ,it will only be worse on
your self you have no where else to go'.
froze because i knew he was right i stood up and said'sir i
cannot give myself to you i am a virgin i will need to be for my
husband' i hear william the butler banging on the door saying
'sir is every thing ok'.
The master replyed'yes ,william sorry to have
woke you up go back to sleep' my last chance of help was walking
away i could feel it sliping knowing i don't have a
The master pinned me against a photo frame and
he removed my night dress and began to touch my body. I slapped
him hard in the face he yeld in pain ,i made a grab for my night
dress but he cought hold of my ankle and i fell over and knocked
my head on his bedside table.
woke with two terrible pains one coming from the gash in my
temple,the other from deep inside me . I was on the floor naked
and the master had his night dress rolled up and he was trying to
push him self inside of me . No man had every done this to me
before i screamed out'stop', but he didn't listen he put his hand
over my mouth and continued.
All i could see was his red face over mine as
he grunted over me as he move back and forth. When he had finish
he let out a moun and got up he said'dont you tell anyone i can
see you will starve ,from tomorrow you will come to my bed every
night or i will send you to the whore house for your
living.'trembling i got up and made a grab for my night dress and
through to over my head. I saw at this point blood has soked my
was almost morning at this point so i took my self over to the
lake and washed my self not caring who was watch me. I found a
rock on the side and slashed my leg, i dont know why i did. It
felt like the bad blood he had given me was slowly flowing out
then i would be clean again.
Over the next few weeks things went from bad
to terrible, not only was the master forcing him self on me at
night he would find me alone in my room or the room i was
cleaning and force him self on me there.
Every time he had finish i would
go out to the frezzing stream and clean myself and then i would
find a rock or a sharp object and reopen all the cuts on my
legs. One more thing had happend to me my monthly curse was
late and it hadnt come for5 weeks but it should come any time
soon. I think i must be ill because every morning i have been
I was called to go to the
masters room in the night.he was sitting there and he had a
smug smile and he said 'when did you last have your
'6 weeks sir ,'i replyed in no
more than a whisper
'have you been sick at all ' he
said but he was frowning,
'yes' i whispered.
He through him self at me and
pulled up my dress but he didnt force himself inside me he
began to beat my stomach . i cannot begin to describle the pain
i felt inside he punch and punch untill he heard something
crack . i broke a rib and miscarried that night.
I had to stay in bed for a week
and the master got his doctor friend to poke and prod. Me and
he pushed his fingers inside me , he told the master that i
should be sent away so not to destroy his image, but i was to
weak to be moved so i had to stay there for about a
The master summonded me to his
room i had to was hunched over with pain when i got there he
told me i was going to be sent to a special place to get
strong.After two week i
was put in to a dirty carriage and taken to london but in
london there drove me to a whore house and
grabbed me and forced me through the doors up some stairs and
behind a bookcase and in to a fancy bedroom the window was
bricked up and there was red curtain when i saw there was no
way oyt i wept, i sat there in my traveling clothes scared and
alone there was a tray in the room with a glass of water on it
I needed a drink so badly i
drank it . The room began to spin and i feel tired i saw a
whore come in i cryed out 'whats happing to me' she ignored
that but she took my clothes of and left me there in my under
A man come in and he told me to
take my clothes off, when i wouldnt he tore them off and force
himself like the master in to me. I now know that was when they
were breaking me down by using me over and over again.