Let me just start by saying just cause I wear black and my names raven doesn’t mean you can judge me cause of how we look.
Sure we’re goth and we normally don’t care doesn’t mean we don’t. why do you think most suicidal teenagers are Goths.
We love, we care, we even kick butt when needed.
It was Friday the 13th, and what’s cool is today is my birthday. My 17th birthday.
I walked downstairs in my black pj’s and saw something that seriously shocked me.
PINK birthday decorations!? Omg!
“what the hell is all of this?!” I snapped at my step mother Tonya.
“well I thought you’d want something different this year. Don’t you like it?” she asked.
Tonya married my dad two years after my mom died. Died? More like committed suicide cause of how rude and mean my dad was to her.
“no I don’t, I hate pink Tonya, you know that!” I growled at her.
“well I thought it was an improvement over this black shit you wear everyday.” she said and looked disgusted.
“you know what, maybe a new FACE is an improvement over yours you whore Barbie!” I snapped at her. She can insult my dad but she cannot insult my way of life.
“what’s going on here?” my dad asked as he walked downstairs.
And like the tramp Tonya was, she trotted to my dad and cried fake tears. Dumb bitch, I thought.
“raven called me a whore Barbie hunny, I don’t know what I did to deserve her hatred.” when my dad glared at me I saw Tonya smile slyly and triumphantly.
“go to your room raven this instant!” my dad shouted at me.
“hell no! I’m not gonna listen to you anymore, and I’m certainly not going to watch you throw away your life cause of this stupid Barbie! So screw you dad!” I snapped again.
I walked to the closet near the door and put on my black army boots and also grabbed my runaway bag from the back. I grabbed my keys and walked out.
I got in my black bug and started the engine. As soon as I backed out the driveway my dad was outside looking upset now. He should be, I thought. Before he could see the tears spill over I drove off.
This is not the first time I’ve ran away, last year Tonya had pissed me off so bad by banning me from seeing my boyfriend john (who is also goth by the way). And she had no right to do that.
So I took off and realized john didn’t even have feelings for me. He was self centered, and what sucked was that he faked being goth.
He was a preppy football jock. The only friend I had who, even though was kind of preppy, was my best guy friend Daniel. Sweet kid, always stood up for the less fortunate.
He left to Washington with his mom a few years ago.
I admired that he took time to work at the food bank for the homeless.
‘its kind of cruel really’ he once said. When I asked what he meant he answered
‘well everyone has a home but for some none do. It sucks.’ he said with a smile.
My car beeped I was low on gas interrupting my thoughts, I looked down and saw my hand was clenching the necklace he’d given me the day he was leaving.
I stopped by the closest gas station and paid for things. My stomach growled at me so I got some food for the road.
When I was done and right when I was about to walk out I ran into some guy.
“oh crap, dude sorry.” I said over and over.
“its okay, no big deal.” he said smiling. Something about him was so familiar.
“I didn’t mean to bump into you, I guess my head wasn’t paying attention.” I said and laughed nervously. When he looked at me I saw realization in his brown eyes.
“raven? Raven Montoya?” he asked. How the heck did he know my name? too freaky.
“uh yeah, who are you?” I asked back.
“its me Daniel, remember?” he said and hugged me.
“holy crud, its good to see you again. You look good.” I said and looked him over.
He gotten taller and was no longer all scrawny.
“yeah, so do you. Love the black.” he said and laughed. He wasn’t disgusted! that’s a good sign!
“yeah, so you a foot ball player or baseball?” I asked remembering one year he told me hed be a major football or baseball player or whatever.
“neither, I’m a writer.” he said.
“well crap there goes that idea.” I said jokingly. Poet had been my first choice but then I found out I suck at poetry.
“yeah sorry, anywho what are you doing at a gas station?” he asked.
“oh uh I ranaway from home, its kind of a long story. that’s my bug right there.” I said and pointed to my bug.
“cool, and I’ve got plenty of time so tell me.” he said, and I launched into the story.
I told him that I walked downstairs and threw a hissy fit when I saw Tonya hanging up pink decorations then to the part where I called her a whore Barbie and walked out.
He laughed and listened just like he used to, and I found myself drowning in his laughter.
I admit I had a crush on him since like 3rd grade.
“wow, you really called Tonya a whore Barbie?” he said still laughing.
“yeah and she more then kind of deserved it, she insulted my goth-ness.” I said and laughed too.
“hey, if you need a place to stay, you could stay with me. I have an apartment, my momused come to visit once in awhile so you could stay in the extra room.” he suggested. I thought it over. What bad will it do if I stayed at his place?
“okay but I’ll follow you there, no way am I leaving my bug behind.” I said. He laughed again. So I got in my car and followed him to his apartment.
When we got there it was a lot more spacey then I pictured. He had a flat screen in the living with limited movies to watch, a play station (the game dork) and a few weights.
“cool.” was all I said.
“yeah, my dad lent me money to buy it along with the money I made these past few summers.” he explained. He grabbed my suitcase and put it in a very spacious room.
“the bathroom is right there, I have my own so don’t worry.” he said.
Holy crap, I thought.
As I changed and hung out with Daniel, and talked and was finally exhausted enough to sleep through the night. Thank god.
The sun shined on my back and that’s what woke me up along with Daniel’s alarm.
I completely forgot he worked now. Damn it, me and forgetful.
Daniel walked in opening the door just to peek in and I smiled at him.
“morning raven.” he said and sat on the edge of the bed.
“morning, you got work?” I asked.
“no, I like to wake up early and write some things down.” he said and emphasized his words with the paper in his hand.
“so, what’s up? Making sure I didn’t run away again?” I said and punched his shoulder.
Btw I’m still goth, even though being around Daniel makes me not so goth. Damn.
Then without so much as a blink he leaned and kissed my cheek. My pale skin turned a bright pink.
“uh what was that for?” I asked now suddenly embarrassed with his foreword feelings.
“cause, raven I really like you. I know you probably don’t feel-” I cut him off with a kiss.
I pulled back and suddenly nervous about what was happening.
“now what was that for?” he asked smiling widely.
“cause, I really like you too.” I told him. His smile got so wide I though his face would split. Then without notice he kissed me again. I thought my head would explode, like in a million pieces explode.
Then my phone rang with evanescence imaginary.
“hello?” I said into the phone.
“hey rave, its sally.” the familiar dreary voice said.
“hey sally, what’s up?” I asked suddenly not interested I who would call on this amazing moment.
“we have band practice today, remember? So wake your butt up and get to adrians house pronto bitch!” she said and hung up before I could snap and brag about how I hate being called bitch.
“you got a band?” Daniel asked amused.
“yeah I know weird right?” I said and dramatically laid on the bed. It was pretty nice here, the room I stayed in was painted a dark red and the beds had beautiful dark purple sheets and blankets with red pillows. What a clash.
“no, just so cool. Mind if I come along?” he asked and smiled at me. I blushed from my cheeks down to my neck.
“sure, but it’s a pretty goth rock band.” I said and got up to go through my black duffel bag. I grab my black skinny jeans with a loose fitting grey shirt with tears and rips in it and a black under shirt with my white converse.
“do you mind?” I said and looked at Daniel who hadn’t moved an inch.
“yeah yeah.” he said teasingly and got up to walk out the door. I was halfway dressed when he walked in again.
“DANIEL!” I shouted and felt myself blush again. He covered his eyes and I could tell he was blushing too.
“sorry sorry! I’m leaving.” he said and ran into the door, he laughed nervously and then walked out.
After I finished getting dressed I could see Daniel’s jaw drop to the floor.
“take a picture, it lasts longer.” I said smiling smugly.
Then on the way to my friend adrian’s we were silent, not wanting to speak. My heart raced and as soon as the car stopped I ran toward sally and kat.
“hey raven, you ready?” sally asked then her eyes widened.
Sally is another friend who I’ve known forever she’s friends with Daniel too.
“who’s your friend?” kat asked with a purr like tone in her voice.
“this is my old friend Daniel. Sally knows him already.” I said.
“good to see you again Daniel, you taking care of raven?” sally asked him.
“its good to see you too, and yes. Raven’s staying with me in my apartment.” he said nonchalantly. Sally had a huge smile on her face and looked me over, I knew exactly what she was thinking.
“okay lets start this thing.” I said as matter-of-factly.
My friend adrian, sally, kat and sam all started the music.
“I saw the queen, swam out below her star unseen beneath. Though I lifted up my hands to her she never lifted me. Oh! Something’s missing in me, I felt it deep within me as lovers left me to bleed alone. Found something sweet, on the island with the daughters of eve. But through thick and thin they’ve gone away and only left their grief. Oh! Something’s missing in me, I felt it deep with in me as lovers left me to bleed alone. Oh something’s missing in me, I felt it deep within me as lovers left me to bleed alone. something’s missing in me, something’s missing in me.
Down here, love wasn’t meant to be. It wasn’t meant to be for me. Down here love wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be. Oh! Something’s missing in my I felt it deep within me as lovers left me to bleed alone. Something’s missing in me I felt it deep…within me as lovers left me to bleed alone. Something’s missing in me….something’s missing in me…” I took a deep breath to center myself and Daniel clapped and I bowed with a smile on my face.
“bravo! Encore!” he said. I laughed and gave each of them a new piece of music.
“okay lets do this.” sally said.
The music started playing again.
“when I said good morning, I was lying. I was truly thinking of how I might quite waking up. He pointed out how selfish it would be to kill myself. So I keep waking up.”
“feels so much like falling. Dying while I wait to die.
The fear of something or nothing. Lonely empty lie. I don’t want to be here, lying. I don’t want to be selfish anymore. I want so much to change. There’s still so much to know. Learning your love everyday. You grip my wrists I let go. Feels so much like falling, dying while I wait to die. Aware of a destination, far away from here.
It feels so much like falling dying while I wait to die. Aware of a destination far away from here.”
As I finished my next song, we were done for that day. Our gig was in two weeks at the goth theater in new york.
“you were magnificent raven.” Daniel said and hugged me.
“thank you, practice made perfect.” I said with a awkward laugh. Sally looked completely shocked at how I was acting. I took that as a insult.
“so see you in two days rave, don’t forget.” adrian said with a scowl directed toward Daniel. Adrian is this major drama queen, if you mess with his music he’ll be pissed at you for months. Last year his boyfriend broke up with him cause he was goth and the poor guy’s been crazier since then.
“raven? Take your guitar to practice kay numb skull.” kat said and handed me my black guitar. Yes everything I have is either black or red, and its mostly black. Lol moment.
“kay slave driver.” I said with a glare. Most people are scared to death when I glare at them but my friends who are goth aren’t scared at all. Just how they are.
“later!” everyone said at the same time, laughed and left.
On our way back to Daniel’s I got tired of the weird silence.
“so, about what you saw earlier today um I want to know exactly what you saw?” I said. I really didn’t want to know but I didn’t want him to see me like that.
I hate being anyone’s eye candy.
Two years ago that’s how a lot of guys saw me as. I remember distinctly what they said.
“hey raven, wanna hang after school?” one of the football jocks said with a disgusting smile on their face.
When I told him no in front of his friends just so he wouldn’t bull shit me.
Shock covered everyone’s face cause they knew what their friend did.
“rave I swear I didn’t see anything…well….” he said trailing off blushing in the process.
“well…what Daniel?” I said. I saw him bite his lip and look at me from the corner of his eye. He stopped the car behind a gas station.
“raven, I saw your beautiful upper body skin and I’ve never been so amazed ashamed at the same time.” he explained and tried to find something in his pocket.
“do you know the reason I came back here from florida?” he asked and I shook my head. My heart raced so fast I thought I might passed.
“I came back cause of you raven.” he said and looked at me lovingly.
I looked at him shocked for one.
“raven Sophia Montoya, if I promise to take care of you and do anything for you, will you marry me?” he asked and showed me a ring in a small box he had in his pockets. I blinked at him and stuttered.
“I-I-I’m barely 18 Daniel. I-I’m not sure.” I looked down at the ground of the car.
Daniels hand was under my chin and he gently made me look at him.
“I know raven, but I want to be with you forever. Please raven. I’ll wait to actually marry you after your 18th birthday. Please.” he said begging. I smiled at him, and for his answer I nodded and kissed him. But my mind caught up with the scary thought that he wants to be with me to change me.
“you wont try to change me will you Daniel?” I asked panic in my voice.
“raven I will never do that. I love you too much.” he said and continued on the drive home.
I smiled to myself. This was crazy, me a goth chick was falling in love with my best friend.
And btw it is the best feeling ever! I never knew what it felt like to be truly loved.
The only thing I wasn’t expecting was to see my dad in front of daniels apartment.