Let me just start by saying just cause I wear black and my names
raven doesn't mean you can judge me cause of how we look.
Sure we're goth and we normally don't care doesn't mean we don't.
why do you think most suicidal teenagers are Goths.
We love, we care, we even kick butt when needed.
It was Friday the 13th, and what's cool is today is my birthday.
My 17th birthday.
I walked downstairs in my black pj's and saw something that
seriously shocked me.
PINK birthday decorations!? Omg!
"what the hell is all of this?!" I snapped at my step mother
"well I thought you'd want something different this year. Don't
you like it?" she asked.
Tonya married my dad two years after my mom died. Died? More
like committed suicide cause of how rude and mean my dad was to
"no I don't, I hate pink Tonya, you know that!" I growled at
"well I thought it was an improvement over this black shit you
wear everyday." she said and looked disgusted.
"you know what, maybe a new FACE is an improvement over yours
you whore Barbie!" I snapped at her. She can insult my dad but
she cannot insult my way of life.
"what's going on here?" my dad asked as he walked downstairs.
And like the tramp Tonya was, she trotted to my dad and cried
fake tears. Dumb bitch, I thought.
"raven called me a whore Barbie hunny, I don't know what I did
to deserve her hatred." when my dad glared at me I saw Tonya
smile slyly and triumphantly.
"go to your room raven this instant!" my dad shouted at me.
"hell no! I'm not gonna listen to you anymore, and I'm
certainly not going to watch you throw away your life cause of
this stupid Barbie! So screw you dad!" I snapped again.
I walked to the closet near the door and put on my black army
boots and also grabbed my runaway bag from the back. I grabbed
my keys and walked out.
I got in my black bug and started the engine. As soon as I
backed out the driveway my dad was outside looking upset now.
He should be, I thought. Before he could see the tears spill
over I drove off.
This is not the first time I've ran away, last year Tonya had
pissed me off so bad by banning me from seeing my boyfriend
john (who is also goth by the way). And she had no right to do
So I took off and realized john didn't even have feelings for
me. He was self centered, and what sucked was that he faked
He was a preppy football jock. The only friend I had who, even
though was kind of preppy, was my best guy friend Daniel. Sweet
kid, always stood up for the less fortunate.
He left to Washington with his mom a few years ago.
I admired that he took time to work at the food bank for the
'its kind of cruel really' he once said. When I asked what he
meant he answered
'well everyone has a home but for some none do. It sucks.' he
said with a smile.
My car beeped I was low on gas interrupting my thoughts, I
looked down and saw my hand was clenching the necklace he'd
given me the day he was leaving.
I stopped by the closest gas station and paid for things. My
stomach growled at me so I got some food for the road.
When I was done and right when I was about to walk out I ran
into some guy.
"oh crap, dude sorry." I said over and over.
"its okay, no big deal." he said smiling. Something about him
was so familiar.
"I didn't mean to bump into you, I guess my head wasn't
paying attention." I said and laughed nervously. When he
looked at me I saw realization in his brown eyes.
"raven? Raven Montoya?" he asked. How the heck did he know my
name? too freaky.
"uh yeah, who are you?" I asked back.
"its me Daniel, remember?" he said and hugged me.
"holy crud, its good to see you again. You look good." I said
and looked him over.
He gotten taller and was no longer all scrawny.
"yeah, so do you. Love the black." he said and laughed. He
wasn't disgusted! that's a good sign!
"yeah, so you a foot ball player or baseball?" I asked
remembering one year he told me hed be a major football or
baseball player or whatever.
"neither, I'm a writer." he said.
"well crap there goes that idea." I said jokingly. Poet had been
my first choice but then I found out I suck at poetry.
"yeah sorry, anywho what are you doing at a gas station?" he
"oh uh I ranaway from home, its kind of a long story. that's my
bug right there." I said and pointed to my bug.
"cool, and I've got plenty of time so tell me." he said, and I
launched into the story.
I told him that I walked downstairs and threw a hissy fit when I
saw Tonya hanging up pink decorations then to the part where I
called her a whore Barbie and walked out.
He laughed and listened just like he used to, and I found myself
drowning in his laughter.
I admit I had a crush on him since like 3rd grade.
"wow, you really called Tonya a whore Barbie?" he said still
"yeah and she more then kind of deserved it, she insulted my
goth-ness." I said and laughed too.
"hey, if you need a place to stay, you could stay with me. I have
an apartment, my momused come to visit once in awhile so you
could stay in the extra room." he suggested. I thought it over.
What bad will it do if I stayed at his place?
"okay but I'll follow you there, no way am I leaving my bug
behind." I said. He laughed again. So I got in my car and
followed him to his apartment.
When we got there it was a lot more spacey then I pictured. He
had a flat screen in the living with limited movies to watch, a
play station (the game dork) and a few weights.
"cool." was all I said.
"yeah, my dad lent me money to buy it along with the money I made
these past few summers." he explained. He grabbed my suitcase and
put it in a very spacious room.
"the bathroom is right there, I have my own so don't worry." he
Holy crap, I thought.
As I changed and hung out with Daniel, and talked and was finally
exhausted enough to sleep through the night. Thank god.
The sun shined on my back and that's what woke me up along with
I completely forgot he worked now. Damn it, me and forgetful.
Daniel walked in opening the door just to peek in and I smiled
"morning raven." he said and sat on the edge of the bed.
"morning, you got work?" I asked.
"no, I like to wake up early and write some things down." he
said and emphasized his words with the paper in his hand.
"so, what's up? Making sure I didn't run away again?" I said
and punched his shoulder.
Btw I'm still goth, even though being around Daniel makes me
not so goth. Damn.
Then without so much as a blink he leaned and kissed my cheek.
My pale skin turned a bright pink.
"uh what was that for?" I asked now suddenly embarrassed with
his foreword feelings.
"cause, raven I really like you. I know you probably don't
feel-" I cut him off with a kiss.
I pulled back and suddenly nervous about what was happening.
"now what was that for?" he asked smiling widely.
"cause, I really like you too." I told him. His smile got so
wide I though his face would split. Then without notice he
kissed me again. I thought my head would explode, like in a
million pieces explode.
Then my phone rang with evanescence imaginary.
"hello?" I said into the phone.
"hey rave, its sally." the familiar dreary voice said.
"hey sally, what's up?" I asked suddenly not interested I who
would call on this amazing moment.
"we have band practice today, remember? So wake your butt up
and get to adrians house pronto bitch!" she said and hung up
before I could snap and brag about how I hate being called
"you got a band?" Daniel asked amused.
"yeah I know weird right?" I said and dramatically laid on the
bed. It was pretty nice here, the room I stayed in was painted
a dark red and the beds had beautiful dark purple sheets and
blankets with red pillows. What a clash.
"no, just so cool. Mind if I come along?" he asked and smiled
at me. I blushed from my cheeks down to my neck.
"sure, but it's a pretty goth rock band." I said and got up to
go through my black duffel bag. I grab my black skinny jeans
with a loose fitting grey shirt with tears and rips in it and a
black under shirt with my white converse.
"do you mind?" I said and looked at Daniel who hadn't moved an
"yeah yeah." he said teasingly and got up to walk out the door.
I was halfway dressed when he walked in again.
"DANIEL!" I shouted and felt myself blush again. He covered his
eyes and I could tell he was blushing too.
"sorry sorry! I'm leaving." he said and ran into the door, he
laughed nervously and then walked out.
After I finished getting dressed I could see Daniel's jaw drop
to the floor.
"take a picture, it lasts longer." I said smiling smugly.
Then on the way to my friend adrian's we were silent, not
wanting to speak. My heart raced and as soon as the car stopped
I ran toward sally and kat.
"hey raven, you ready?" sally asked then her eyes widened.
Sally is another friend who I've known forever she's friends
with Daniel too.
"who's your friend?" kat asked with a purr like tone in her
"this is my old friend Daniel. Sally knows him already." I
"good to see you again Daniel, you taking care of raven?" sally
"its good to see you too, and yes. Raven's staying with me in
my apartment." he said nonchalantly. Sally had a huge smile on
her face and looked me over, I knew exactly what she was
"okay lets start this thing." I said as matter-of-factly.
My friend adrian, sally, kat and sam all started the music.
"I saw the queen, swam out below her star unseen beneath.
Though I lifted up my hands to her she never lifted me. Oh!
Something's missing in me, I felt it deep within me as lovers
left me to bleed alone. Found something sweet, on the island
with the daughters of eve. But through thick and thin they've
gone away and only left their grief. Oh! Something's missing in
me, I felt it deep with in me as lovers left me to bleed alone.
Oh something's missing in me, I felt it deep within me as
lovers left me to bleed alone. something's missing in me,
something's missing in me.
Down here, love wasn't meant to be. It wasn't meant to be for
me. Down here love wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be.
Oh! Something's missing in my I felt it deep within me as
lovers left me to bleed alone. Something's missing in me I felt
it deep…within me as lovers left me to bleed alone. Something's
missing in me….something's missing in me…" I took a deep breath
to center myself and Daniel clapped and I bowed with a smile on
"bravo! Encore!" he said. I laughed and gave each of them a new
piece of music.
"okay lets do this." sally said.
The music started playing again.
"when I said good morning, I was lying. I was truly thinking of
how I might quite waking up. He pointed out how selfish it
would be to kill myself. So I keep waking up."
"feels so much like falling. Dying while I wait to die.
The fear of something or nothing. Lonely empty lie. I don't
want to be here, lying. I don't want to be selfish anymore. I
want so much to change. There's still so much to know. Learning
your love everyday. You grip my wrists I let go. Feels so much
like falling, dying while I wait to die. Aware of a
destination, far away from here.
It feels so much like falling dying while I wait to die. Aware
of a destination far away from here."
As I finished my next song, we were done for that day. Our gig
was in two weeks at the goth theater in new york.
"you were magnificent raven." Daniel said and hugged me.
"thank you, practice made perfect." I said with a awkward
laugh. Sally looked completely shocked at how I was acting. I
took that as a insult.
"so see you in two days rave, don't forget." adrian said with a
scowl directed toward Daniel. Adrian is this major drama queen,
if you mess with his music he'll be pissed at you for months.
Last year his boyfriend broke up with him cause he was goth and
the poor guy's been crazier since then.
"raven? Take your guitar to practice kay numb skull." kat said
and handed me my black guitar. Yes everything I have is either
black or red, and its mostly black. Lol moment.
"kay slave driver." I said with a glare. Most people are scared
to death when I glare at them but my friends who are goth
aren't scared at all. Just how they are.
"later!" everyone said at the same time, laughed and left.
On our way back to Daniel's I got tired of the weird silence.
"so, about what you saw earlier today um I want to know exactly
what you saw?" I said. I really didn't want to know but I
didn't want him to see me like that.
I hate being anyone's eye candy.
Two years ago that's how a lot of guys saw me as. I remember
distinctly what they said.
"hey raven, wanna hang after school?" one of the football jocks
said with a disgusting smile on their face.
When I told him no in front of his friends just so he wouldn't
bull shit me.
Shock covered everyone's face cause they knew what their friend
"rave I swear I didn't see anything…well…." he said trailing
off blushing in the process.
"well…what Daniel?" I said. I saw him bite his lip and look at
me from the corner of his eye. He stopped the car behind a gas
"raven, I saw your beautiful upper body skin and I've never
been so amazed ashamed at the same time." he explained and
tried to find something in his pocket.
"do you know the reason I came back here from florida?" he
asked and I shook my head. My heart raced so fast I thought I
"I came back cause of you raven." he said and looked at me
I looked at him shocked for one.
"raven Sophia Montoya, if I promise to take care of you and do
anything for you, will you marry me?" he asked and showed me a
ring in a small box he had in his pockets. I blinked at him and
"I-I-I'm barely 18 Daniel. I-I'm not sure." I looked down at
the ground of the car.
Daniels hand was under my chin and he gently made me look at
"I know raven, but I want to be with you forever. Please raven.
I'll wait to actually marry you after your 18th birthday.
Please." he said begging. I smiled at him, and for his answer I
nodded and kissed him. But my mind caught up with the scary
thought that he wants to be with me to change me.
"you wont try to change me will you Daniel?" I asked panic in
"raven I will never do that. I love you too much." he said and
continued on the drive home.
I smiled to myself. This was crazy, me a goth chick was falling
in love with my best friend.
And btw it is the best feeling ever! I never knew what it felt
like to be truly loved.
The only thing I wasn't expecting was to see my dad in front of