my eyes filled up with tears, nothing could make me forgive him.
i dragged myself out of bed, feeling depressed and unloved. i was no longer filled with undying love for him, instead i was filled with hatred and betrayal against him!
nothing would fill the void in my wounded heart. i walked downstairs to hear the door bell ring, i opened the door to find Josh standing there in tears.
his teary, puppy dog eyes looked at me, " Stella, i'm nothing without you!" he started to cry again. i looked at him emotionless, then tears started to fall and stream down my cheeks, " Josh, how could you?" i pleaded.
he started to cry again, i turned away from him and broke down into depression! i laid there on the couch in tears, blocking out the world around me, nothing would replace the damage he has done to me!
he looked at me with sad eyes, still begging me to forgive him. when he doesnt realize how much pain he's caused me, even telling me before that he would never do anything to hurt me, he broke his promise causing me even more pain!
he tryed explained things to me, but i couldn't belive him cause he's hurt me so much i can't trust him anymore!
when he leaves, i go upstairs with a pairing knife and cut my arms, watching the blood run off my arms as tears fall faster from the pain of neglect!
cutting myself leads to nowhere but, being so heart broken and depressed i have no other option! my heart is wounded and broken causing me pain and depression, i wish i could forgive Josh for what he did..., but i just can't!
i hear a knock at the door and hide the knife, washing the blood from the cuts. i open the door to Josh agian and this time he enters the room differently, differently as in he pulls me closer still with teary eyes and passionatly his lips touch mine. more warm and passionate than he's ever kissed me, like this time he means it and wants me!
were embraced and making out in my door way for at least a good10 minutes! when we pull away, i look deep into his eyes and realize he knows he's sorry for what he's done and i slightly smile at him.
he sweetly smiles at me and i bring him in and close the door. i pull him to the couch and when we sit down, i pull him tightly closer to me and kiss him with more demand and passion. we sit there on the couch snuggling and making out for a good half hour, then he finally pulls out a single perfect rose and presents it to me, asking me to forgive him for what he's done.......................,
to be continued....................................., ( chapter 11 is in the works, hope to post it soon)