I, like most people, don't know how to work with others. I'm not talking about normal socializing-I can do that-it's just when it gets to relationships (dating) I just get really lost. I'm not the most open person in the world and I can be kinda rude without know it. In my defense, The whole book of rules of what you should and should NOT do is something that I can't really follow. For many reason, which are:
1. They're usually really stupid. (And I mean the epitome of stupid)
-like the whole Three Rule
Three Rule: If someone calls you or text you, you must wait three minutes before texting them back. If they call you, you have the advantage to wait three hours, three days, or three minutes before calling them back.
Reason for this rule:
It's so that person doesn't think you're hanging off their every word, a little distance makes them want you more. (Apparently this is a proven fact…?)
2. They ruin things.
That rule really just seems unnecessary-what if what they wanted to tell me was really important? What if it was something that I NEEDED to know? Well, I would have to wait, right? And what if-what if-what if!?! There's so many reason to why I don't like this rule, it's pointless, and playing games is why people get mixed signals, irritated with romance, and aggravated with the ones they're in "like" with. (I've never been in love, only in like.)
Here's a case scenario I've been in before (And currently I am in now.)
Darren: "I love every single aspect of you whether you want to break it down to bits or examine it fully."
Me: "Aw, That's sweet of you to say."
Darren: It's what I feel.
Five days pass and he still doesn't talk to me.
3. This may happen.
April, 6, 2013:
"I'm not sure how I'm supposed to react to this. And now it's been five days since we talked and I feel like something's wrong. Two days after this, I text him in the morning, but he didn't respond to me. Now it's the fourth day since that conversation (above) and I don't know what to do. It shouldn't be that hard. I should just forget about it and wait for him to respond, and have some kind of reason to why he hasn't talked to me like:
"Oh, I went to this resort (or camp) where we couldn't have our phones, and when I tried to email you it didn't work out well because I was allowed to use it for about five minutes."
(This would make sense, because for one he is on spring break, and he did go to the aquarium that one day, so it would be out of the ordinary.)
Or many he would say:
-Something tragic has happened to me (or family)
-One of my exes (or a girl I've had a thing for) wants to start dating. And I don't think it would be good to have you lagged around like this knowing that I have feelings for another girl. So….Um, bye
That one (^^^^^^) I hope will not happen, (well I don't hope for the first one to happen either….that would be bad too) but with all these case scenarios running through my mind, this one for some reason keeps reoccurring in my head.
I like him, more than I think I should, which has these thoughts just wondering in my head without a care. I've known him for less than a week, so I don't know why I should be even thinking of him beyond a friend. May it's because all the things he's said. Maybe it's the fact that he's…..Ugh I don't know anymore!
My dreams aren't helping me much either. My dreams in the past usually would help me threw times like these, show a path that I wouldn't have seen before. But now, they're painful to wake up from. Not like it's that last thought in action or anything-it's nothing like that-it's more like everything got better. We got to know each other, and in the summer he came to California. Or he would surprise me at my school.
I can't take it anymore. I just can't. But I'm forcing myself to just do that whole waiting thing all girls are told to do. And I know, deep inside I'm thinking, "You should do your own thing and go against the whole 'rules book for girls' and make your own Gosh dang rules! You're Sumeya…Not some freaking prick who waits around for guys when they feel like it! Be the game changer…Be the girl whole takes lead in this predicament!"
But then I realize that I already tried once, if I did it more than once, that he would think I'm obsessed…Which I'm not!.....Am I? Is this what this is? I've only been crazy over guys I distance myself away from purposely because I know I'll fuck it up some way- but this is different. This is much different than some small middle school crush that got me nowhere."
See THAT's what I mean. I don't know. I just think there should be an end of the whole playing hard to get thing, I don't like it and I'm sure I'm not the only one here.