Some may call it perverse, others call it lust, others thought it's creepy. I call it passion. The desire to feel someone's skin touch my own. The longingness of someone's warmth even if it's just for a fleet second, I close my eyes.
I know, I know it's taboo but it is so as society wouldn't accept. Hear me out. I am shouting, at the top of my lungs, I'm running out of breath but yet nobody is listening... No that's not right, rather nobody can hear me. I breathe as if it's my last, breathe deep and hard. I breathe.
I have been pretending all this time. my heart is breaking. A friend, I made it through close friend but I could never be more. We talk, I couldn't help smiling and looking as those lips and eyes dances in time. I listen, I smile and I think. Happiness, that's what I can draw out of her. Yet I feel so wickedly lonely. Can she feel it? I guess not, I am taught well enough to keep feelings for myself and put up a front. I smile.
Stop, she is talking, what is she saying again? Oh right. She's talking about her recent adventure. I nodded, I laugh about something she said funny, I said "go on, then what happened". But then, imagine how I felt. Somebody save me. I am drowning. I can't breathe. I think I'm bleeding rather profusely. I'm hurt, here, in my chest. Please somebody, I beg of you! Can anyone hear me? Take me away. I would die.
I watch her closely, I couldn't remember why and what is it that I like about her. I am lost. Is it her eyes? That would look deeply into my soul? Is it her nose?Hher cute perfectly curved nose? Her lips? So delicate yet so inviting? And oh my god her neck, I am always attracted to it. I can't tell which is it. I guess it's her touch. Her soft touch, she was holding my hand all through out. She press it every now and then, through the rise and fall of her story.
I close my eyes for a moment.. And feel it... It sends this message all through out my body. Like an electricity. Those butterflies in my stomach are probably increasing in number. Touch me more. Come closer. I want to feel your breath, your heart beat. I want to look into your eyes and touch your lips at my finger tips. Everything works in exertion. My hands long for your touch, I want to reach and feel you. Above all, I wanted to kiss you. I want to feel you inside. I want to devour you. I want all of you. Smile only to me. Answer me when I call your name. Wrap your arms around me and I'll wrap mine and own you. Every part is tingling in anticipation. But my heart, oh my poor dear heart is bleeding as all of this happens at once. It pours. 'oh please i beg of you', i could hear it's pleading.
Wait she is asking a question. I can tell with the movement of her brows and eyes. She looks worried. I said 'huh? what?'. Then she say it again 'Don't be late on my wedding, ok?' I smile, I nod, I gave it my all and said 'I wouldn't miss it for the world'.