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A short essay about a past experience.

Submitted:Nov 2, 2008    Reads: 100    Comments: 2    Likes: 0   

I will be waiting for you all my life when you close your eyes and I open mine nothing has changed I still feel the same way. You walk around like everything is okay and I walk around as if the world was ending. There's something missing and my heart can tell. I know there's something there with your name that doesn't want to change. It has never moved on, it promised itself that the day it will heal is when you accept it once again in your life. Nobody wants to be lonely and your body is hurting just like mine. There's a saying that everyone is always unaware of, it's touch: the most important sense it's what makes us humans happy. And since I haven't touched you, not even held your hand it has been harder. I always think what if, what went wrong, why did it happen to us, how did we get here, what changed, can we ever fix it, will either one of us ever be happy again? And I try to walk away but this isn't going away. Months have passed and still the same feeling. I tried so many times to let go, erase you out of my mind, losing what I have for you it just doesn't seem to find its way out of me. Every day I seem closer to you only in my dreams and my heart, once I am awake, reality takes me back to my miseries. I can't figure out how I can change my life, how to let go, why can't we talk about it? Oh yeah because I said to stop calling me to stop talking to me, to go our separate ways. You led me on so many times, and you hurt me in the end. You changed your mind, your heart, you changed us. I take some responsibility it was us who ruined everything but since you can't admit it like I can than I don't think we can ever fix anything. Everything we dreamt of, our plans, our life together did you forget? Our fights, our laughs, our time where did it go? Is your heart still playing a game? It's just one step at a time, and we can get everything back; I want to be patient with you, I want to try anything to get us back. I don't want to end our book, we made something together, and it just not suppose to end. But I feel like you're on a different level and since we both can't wait for each other, what are our options, how can we fix this? I can't change, I can't love anyone, it's not easy, and when you love someone everything is different. No one can change the way you feel once you know you found the right person. Your love, your life, with another and you together forever.


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