there is wetness in my eyes wetness wetness wetness receding into darkness. its all inside me. its all inside me and its all tangled and i can never get it out without tearing through layers of my flesh and i imagine them like sweaters or colors and im smiling and it wont come out of me not now not ever and i feel it. i never want a snake in me. there is a giant snake in me. help me.
"who fucked you up like this?"
he asks from somehwere far far above me and i cant think of his name. of course i can but im not even gonna turn my mind to find it. im paralyzed. i start to laugh instead. i laugh and it squeezes more wetness out of my face. i didnt know this wetness existed. i am drunk. this is the only way this could be happening. i am high. i am laughing. i am on the ground. i cant think of his name. and i know that hes here, this other he. and i know that he loves me. and im so so sorry
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