Karen, and hey, so what! maybe i wasnt girly! maybe I didnt like pink. did it matter?
I dont think it did and if it were up to me it wouldnt. I wasnt the only child and I didnt have problems with my parents. my problem was a guy. a guy named Reese.
If I could just fly away, I would. I refuse to have friends and I look like I refuse to have friends so, friends refuse to have me. It doesnt bother me at all. I'm just floating on my own cloud over the universe... well maybe not the universe but somewhere that makes me invisible and I like that so... I'm comfortable there.
I watched him all through class. He never seemed to look at any one or talk to anyone. He was in his own world. I wish I was in his world though. I know I sound completely stalker-ish or desperate but it’d be pretty much cool. That is, for me. He, on the other hand didn’t want to be bothered. My desperate attempts on trying to have a conversation with him failed. I didn’t talk his head off I just talked to him a little… small talk. I guess he just wasn’t feeling it. I looked at him and there was this really awesome bad ass vibe that came off of him. The teacher caught my ear.
“Karen, what did Nick mean by that?” she asked me as she looked in the text book. My eyes shifted from one side of the room to the other to see that I wasn’t on the right page. I didn’t know the answer. I pulled my sweater over my hand and shrugged my shoulders. “We’re on the next page” I quickly flipped to the page and shook my head as I looked back up at her.
“He means they click” Reese answered, my cheeks grew red.
“Thanks Reese. You all need to read the next 2 chapters and answer the questions. That means you Karen” she looked to me. I closed my book. I was so embarrassed! What a bitch! I looked over to see Reese reading his book. The bell rang and I lifted up grabbing my bag from off of the ground. Reese grabbed his bag and walked out before me. I walked out running into my friend Eliza. She smiled at me after looking back at Reese.
“You need to talk to him!” she yelled at me. I shrugged her off of my shoulder and continued to walk “you’re going to miss your train dude!” she yelled as I walked away. Maybe I would talk to Reese someday but for now. It just felt better to stare at him… from a distance.
I could feel thousands of eyes on me every day. Especially hers. Karen. For some reason she found herself staring at me, every day. She never said anything she only stared. It was so continuous. Becoming non-stop, it wasn’t too weird to me but it was. I’d rather her stare at me than anyone else… the question I wished to asked her was why she never wanted to talk to me or introduce herself to me. I get that she’s talked to me once or twice but actually talk to me.
I was distracting her. I was distracting her way to much. It was weird but not weird. She was awkward but not awkward. Why couldn’t she just be like the other girls and ignore my existence? I’d feel better if she did that then get distracted by me. I ignored her. I didn’t do it on purpose. I did it so that she wouldn’t know that I noticed.
I walked past everyone I ever noticed unnoticed. My car was what they all noticed. It was cool. Once I got into my car it was the invisible boat mobile or something. Today was differnt. Less people hung out side. Less people noticed. The rain poured down onto the hot summer ground. I just walked to my car flipping my hood over my head. I pulled out of the parking lot to see Karen. She was getting so soaked in the rain. She didn’t seem like she had some where to be or like she’d get anywhere fast. Maybe I needed a friend. Maybe she could be my friend.
I wouldn’t distract her as much and she would quit staring at me. But, was this really my excuse. I stopped ridding slower by her side and cleared my throat.
“Do you need a ride?” I asked her.