“So, you can’t come over tonight?” I ask my best guy friend, Ethan Turner.
     “No, I can’t. Something came up at the last minute. Sorry, I tried to get out of it but they were so persistent...” Ethan smiles sadly and puts his left hand on my right shoulder.
     My shoulder tingles when he touches it.
     Typical of Ethan. I’d been making these plans with him for weeks, because he’s always so busy that I pretty much have to book ahead to hang out with him, like a restaurant. As this day drew nearer, I’d been making preparations in my head. After Ethan’s decline, they kind of just went...poof.
     We had been planning on going to my cottage. Just for a night, nothing big. I bet they called him in to work, even when he booked it off...
     Oh, and my shoulder tingling when he touches it...I’m in love with him. No matter how much he disappoints me, I can’t help it. Ever since we met a couple years ago.
     You wonder why I don’t ask him out?
     A lot of reasons.
     One, even though we get along really well, we don’t have much in common. He hates my favorite band, Simple Plan, so I can’t see that going over well.
     Two, he keeps putting me off. Who’d want a boyfriend that would do that for every date?
     Three, he’s bisexual. He likes both boys and girls. Wouldn’t it be kind of creepy to go on a date and have my boyfriend say that other guys are hot, and stare at them all evening?
     Ok, maybe Ethan’s not that kind of guy. He doesn’t openly talk about it, only to his closest friends, aka me and a few others. But still.
     Four, and most important, he’s in love with my best girl friend, April.
     Whoop-de-doo. Everyone’s in love with April. Or at least they think they are. It’s probably just a stupid high school crush.
     How many times have guys come up to me and said, “That friend of yours is hot. What’s her phone number?”
     A lot.
     It gets annoying. Here you have the hottest guys in school coming up to you. You think they’re trying to talk to you and you try to look your best and smile your cutest, but a few seconds later they ask for your best friend’s number.
     How irritating.
     No wonder, though. If I was lesbian or bi, then I’d probably have a crush on April too. She has long, perfectly straight black hair that goes down to her waist. Beautiful blue eyes that make you shiver when you stare at them (if you’re a guy, or lesbian), a perfect figure and boobs that any girl would kill for. Sometimes we wonder if they’re fake, but don’t ask. Even though she’s my best friend, I’ve never dared to ask her about her boobs.
     Of course, Ethan also has his opinion. “She’s beautiful, hot and sexy, and every time I see her, my legs turn to jelly.”
     He’s told me this many times, and then when he sees the look on my face, he adds as an afterthought, “Oh, and you’re really cute.”
     Next to April, I look like a hobo.
     Brown, wavy hair that just won’t stop being fuzzy no matter what I do to it. Boring old hazel eyes that change colour between blue and green. I’m short, so guys who are my age think that I’m fifteen or fourteen. This might explain why I have been attracting younger guys lately...
     Anyway, back to describing my figure, not that there’s much to describe. I don’t have too many curves. I have regular, normal boobs. Nothing special about them that makes guys stop and look. I’m not skinny, like April, or fat. I’m not sexy. I don’t look like one of those sexy girls on TV who you see making out with guys. April could be one of those girls.
     They’d kick me off the stage and wouldn’t even bother to listen to my audition.
     April would pass with flying colours, as she does with everything.
     Why am I her best friend? I’ll never know for sure.
     “Bailey?”
     “Huh?” I blink my eyes as Ethan gives my shoulder a gentle shake.
     “You kind of spaced out on me for a minute. Are you ok?”
     I nod, even though I’m not really ok.
     Ethan canceled our long-made plans at the last minute (as he always does) and he has the nerve to ask me if I’m ok?
     He’s brave.
     I realize his hand is still on my shoulder and my body’s still tingling.
     Why won’t it stop?
     Oh yeah, because I’m in love.
     At least, I think I am.
     Could be just a crush, but I’m not so sure. I’ve loved him ever since he came over and started talking to me like some freak.
     He didn’t even know me, but he did it anyway.
     That’s his reputation. He’s well known for talking to random people.
     But why me? Why not April first?
     Oh yeah, because April didn’t have that free period off. Me and him just happened to have that same free period.
     I still remember that day, to this day. It was the greatest day of my life.
     Sure, we manage to hang out sometimes. But that’s only sometimes.
     “Hey, grade twelve prom is coming up. You have a date yet?” I ask him, even though it’s February and we really shouldn’t be worrying about prom this early.
     “No. You?”
     “I think one of my friends wants to go with me but he’s kind of young. I don’t really want to take him. He wouldn’t fit in,” I admit. Then I have an idea. I look up into Ethan’s brown eyes. “Will you go with me? You know, as friends?”
     “Sure. I mean, what if I have a boyfriend or girlfriend by then, though? Same with you, except well a girlfriend?” He asks.
     “Haha! You actually think that I might have a boyfriend by prom!” I laugh.
     “Well, of course. You’re cute. What guy wouldn’t want to go with you?” Ethan grins.
     “All of them, because they’re all in love with April,” I mutter bitterly.
     “Well, we’ll just go and if one of us has a boyfriend or girlfriend by then, I guess we’ll deal with that when the time comes,” Ethan smiles that crooked smile of his that I love so much.
     “Hahaha!” I start to laugh out loud. “When the time comes! Pfft!”
     I’m like that. One minute I’m sad, angry, jealous or something, then the next I’m laughing about something stupid that happened.
     “Oh, shut up. You really have to get over your low confidence,” Ethan says, a bit harshly. The hand finally drops from my shoulder and my body stops tingling.
     That makes me shut up. He’s never spoken that way to me before.
     He sighs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come down hard on you. I just can’t stand to see you like this. I’m also upset because our plans were cancelled. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
     I shake my head no. “No, Ethan. You’ve already hurt me enough. I have to get to class. Bye.” I pick up my backpack which had been strewn on the floor by my locker and head off before he can stop me, even though there is still ten minutes of lunch left.
     I sigh, trying hard not to cry. I hate fighting with Ethan. I’ve fought with him before, but he’d never spoken harshly, so I wouldn’t call it a fight really. More of an argument.
     I enter my Math class and prepare for an hour of hell by putting my head on my desk and letting out a few tears.

     I really hate hurting Bailey. I hate having her disappointed in me. It sucks. She’s such a good friend, and I’m such a crappy friend that I wonder why she sticks by my side.
     She never cancels plans. It’s always me.
     This time it was because my friend’s birthday party was this weekend and I totally forgot about it.
     My friend wouldn’t shut up about it, and then he made me feel guilty about forgetting it.
     So, I ended up picking a friend over my best friend.
     That hurts. I know it does. It’s happened to me. So why do I insist on doing it?
     I’ll never know.
     I watch Bailey’s receding figure until it enters a classroom. I understand why she “had to get to class early”.
     It’s all because of me. She doesn’t want me to see her cry, I bet.
     No one would be in the classroom now, so she can cry until the lunch bell rings.
     You’re so stupid. Why would you hurt your best friend yet again? I would kick myself in the butt if I could.
     After Bailey disappears into her classroom, I pick up my backpack. My classroom is past hers, so I walk by her classroom and peer in. She’s sitting in the back row, her head on her desk, her shoulders shaking a little.
     My heart constricts.
     Dammit! You made her cry, you bastard, I think to myself as I head off to my Com Tech class.
     Now I really want to kick myself in the butt.
     I love Bailey. I love her as a friend. She’s the greatest friend in the world. If only her other best friend, April, would notice me...that would be the greatest day of my life.
     Ok, so you’ve made Bailey cry, and all you think about is April?
     Fuck, I am a jerk.
     I want to cry myself, but I know I won’t. I’m a guy. Guys don’t cry, especially in public. I’ve got to wait until I get home.
     No wait. As soon as I arrive home, I’ll have to prepare for Chad’s birthday party.
     I won’t have time to cry.
     Dammit.
     I suck.
    

     After a couple more classes, the bell rings, signaling the end of the school day. I walk like a zombie towards the bus.
     Just as I’m about to grab onto the railing and jump on, the bus driver slams the door in my face and starts up the bus.
     Ok, so I was late. I wasn’t that late. The busses should have still been there for a few minutes.
     A bit humiliated, I step back from the bus as it makes its way out of the school parking lot.
     It’s one of the first busses to leave, so it’s out of sight before I can say “Boo”.
     I highly doubt any of the kids tried to yell at the bus driver to get him to stop.
     They’re all stoners and don’t even know I’m there most of the time.
     I spot Ethan walking out to his car.
     Damn you, Ethan, I mutter, still pissed at him.
     Unwillingly, I find my body crossing the street into the parking lot towards him and his car.
     “Ethan,” I say once I reach him.
     He turns to me, looking like hell. “Hey.”
     “I missed my bus. Rather, the bus driver slammed the door on my face. Would I be able to hijack a ride home with you?”
     I feel bad about asking, since he lives about twenty minutes away from me. It’s out of his way, so I won’t be surprised when he declines.
     He smiles a little. “It’s alright. Sure. Those damn bus drivers.”
     I’m startled. He actually said yes? “Thank you. I’ll pay for the gas.”
     “Don’t worry about it. I have a full tank of gas, and I was supposed to be going to your place today anyway.” He looks away and doesn’t look at me much as we enter the car and he starts driving.
     It’s not a fancy car. Far from it. But it’s still a car. A method of transportation. It’s grey in colour and kind of old-ish. It doesn’t even have a CD player.
     I wonder what Ethan’s thinking on the silent (and for the first time, awkward) drive to my place.
     Does he feel bad for hurting me?
     I really wish that damned bus driver hadn’t slammed the door in my face.
    

     After I drop Bailey off, I rush home to get ready for the party.
     As I enter my house and run up to my room, I see that my family isn’t home yet.
     My family consists of Mom, Dad, and little sister Eva. My mom is obsessed with the letter “E” for some odd reason. We’re known as the “E” family. Evelyn, Ethan Senior, Eva, Ethan Junior.
     I’m Ethan Junior, even though I’m almost nineteen.
     It’s weird, having the same name as my dad.
     Mom and Dad will be at work, Eva at daycare.
     I change into some decent clothes and think about Bailey as I head back downstairs and flick on the TV in the living room.
     I just have time to watch my favorite show.
     As I’m flicking through the channels, something catches my eye.
     “Breaking news...a bus overturned on Highway 23 about ten minutes ago. It was en route from Salvidor High...”
     The news camera zooms in on an overturned bus, which is down a bank. I realize with horror that it’s Bailey’s bus.
     “...no survivors yet...rescue team is down there looking...will update on this disaster as news develops...”
     Horrified, I quickly flick to my favorite TV show.
     Bailey could have been on that bus.
     She could have died.
     Why was I such a jerk to her?
     I know what I have to do.
     Forgetting the TV, I jump up and pick up the phone on the wall. I dial Chad’s number.
     “Chad, I’m sorry, but I can’t make it tonight,” I say.
     “What? Why not? You said before that you would come...” Chad sounds disappointed, but I’m too focused on Bailey.
     “Something really important came up...I’m sorry...I’ll give you your present at school on Monday, I promise.”
     “Alright, I guess. Bye.” Chad sighs and hangs up the phone before I can respond.
     I don’t even have a present for Chad. I’d planned on picking one up on the way there.
     I’ll just have to find time to get him one, I guess.
     I throw on my jacket, leave a note for my parents, grab my keys and head out the door and into my car.
     I hope Bailey won’t mind me showing up unexpectedly.