WARNING......WARNING>>>>>>>>WARNING, this is just a fanfiction. I don't want any comments saying I sabotaged it all. This was just for fun so please in joy my first posted fanficton.
Maybe this life would be…..better if I just forgot. Suppressed my memories. Like before. But I know that it's no use. They will just flood my mind and overwhelm me with lot of emotion. Like a very intense river, that just doesn't stop. You can only take so much before you have a flood.
I know if I erase my mind Esme wouldn't like it. The others would be sad. It would be better if I didn't. But my feeling for my family would stop me and I don't think they would even let me. How much longer, how much more can I take of…..this, my emptiness. The hole that will be only filled with love. But how could someone love a monster like me?
As I would tell myself I wasn't ok. This life doesn't seem complete without someone by my side. I looked out the window and watched the rain poor down and hit the ground with a thud. Rain, I never did like it. But I guess I have to live with it.
I heard I knock on my door. I figured it must be Edward only he would want to correct my thoughts. But then he should stay out of my head. All well so much for wanting to think in private.
Then as I thought, I was right. It was Edward. "You're thinking just a bit morbidly." Edward told me.
You should let me think that you can't hear me and let me think in "private" If you know what that word means.
"You know I can't help myself." Then Edwards's eyes went sad. "I know what you're going through."
I looked back to staring at the dark gray clouds. Bleak they were. In a way I could relate. Edward shook his head at me. Knowing he was listening to me of course.
I'm giving up on privacy here I told him. He chuckled at me.
Then Bella walked into the room took one good look at me and asked. "What's the matter Wesly?" Her voice full of concern. I gave her a long sad glance, before Edward filled her in.
"He's lonely." Edward told her as he intertwined his fingers with hers. I looked at their hands longer then I should have. I wish I could do that. To be able feel love for someone. Love was something that existed in someone else.
"You'll find someone, I know it." Bella told me. She was someone of uniqueness. Truly she had a genuine heart. One of a kind. Then it was Edward who said. "I know she is."
Bella looked confused for a moment before Edward put her mind at ease. Then it was Esme that walked into the room. She looked at Edward and he nodded to whatever she asked him. But then soon after he nodded she came up to me and wrapped her slender arms around me. I hugged her back for whatever reason she had hugged me for. Then she let me go and looked me in the eyes and told me. "Someone's out their for you." My eyes went soft, but my smile wasn't true. How could I smile a true smile and not have it feel true to myself.
"You're my son I wish the best for you." Her voice was soft. Her face true to what she said.
"Thank you so much for all your concern." And I was thankful. How could I not be? It would be selfish to take their sympathy for granted. I guess I only had that much to give them back.
Then Carlisle walked into my room. What was it; a family get together in Wesly's room? Edward laughed at my witty thoughts. But Carlisle looked like he had something to say. He looked at the scene in my room but went on.
"Emily said that Sam had to go pick up some girl from the airport and would be back shortly." He told us then said. "We should get going we don't want to be late." Then all of them started to head out but I stayed a little bit longer and looked out the window then I swiftly escorted myself out into the monsoon to attend a party.