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My First Love(s)

Novel By: bluedoll

“I love you. I’ve always have.” He said, as he grabs my hand and put it over his heart, “My heart has only and will only beat for you.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was speechless. He smiled at me and it gave me comfort. I just couldn’t believe he was telling me this now of all places. I couldn’t believe that someone like him could love me.

Plus, I think I love him too.


Victoria Lewis has always been the quiet, loser girl in high school. Now, Victoria has just graduated from college and moves back to her hometown to set up her own bouquet store with her friend, Doug, and his mother. Victoria has never dated a boy before so she has no knowledge of relationships until she meets Felix, who was in her high school, and is two years older than her. She had a crush on him in high school and she hopes to fall in love with him this time.

Felix has a brother, Liam, who is the same age as Victoria. Victoria always saw Liam as the dorky type but she has noticed that he has changed over the past six years. Victoria sees some changes in Liam she likes and dislikes. She just wonders if she can get pass all of his drama and be his friend again.

Victoria sees her older sister, Jenna, for the first time in six years and it’s too overwhelming for her. Last time Victoria saw Jenna she never wanted to see her again. After weeks of talking Victoria and Jenna try to stich up the patch that they tore but when Jenna goes back to her old ways will Victoria ever forgive her? Could Jenna really change after six years and forget the past or go back to her evil ways and break her sisters heart?

Victoria realizes that having too many loves can break people's hearts but she couldn't help it. She just loved all of the attention she got as she got older. Victoria notices that she is turning into her sister and she doesnt want that. Victoria tries to make a decision before everything goes bad.

Victoria can see a lot of lying, drama, cheating, and love going on in her life that is too much to bear. She hopes to make the right decision in the end and fall in love with someone for the first time in her life. Hopefully the person she loves will love her back before it is too late.
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Submitted:Jan 14, 2012    Reads: 317    Comments: 20    Likes: 2   

A/N: Hey Readers! I hope you don't think this is too boring. I didn't want to show the boy first and then she falls in love, blah-blah-blah. I wanted to show you the relationship between Victoria and Jenna. This may be boring to some of you but the story won't be, I promise. :] Hopefully you like it and leave a comment below. Critics are allowed. Thanks again! :]


kaylee. <3


"Mom, will I ever fall in love?" I ask.

She pulled me into her arms, cradling me like a baby, "Of course you will. Everyone does at some point in their life."

"How come everyone loves Jenna, but not me?"

She put her chin on my head, still cradling me, "Everyone loves you and Jenna."

"It doesn't seem like it. No one ever talks to me in school and everyone is hung up on Jenna. It just isn't fair."

"People just show love in a different way and I doubt that no one talks to you in school."

'Only Liam does. That dork.' I thought.

I sigh, "I guess."

"Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering, mom."

"Okay," My mother let me go and kissed me on the forehead, leaving me alone sitting in a fetal position against the cold wall.

I didn't feel like everyone loved me. I felt like an outcast, a shadow that everyone overlooked and paid no attention to. Everyone loves my sister, Jenna, because she's so popular and pretty. Jenna is two years older than me and gets guys that are younger or older than her. It just wasn't fair. I want someone to love me and hold me in their arms. Not just my mother trying to make me feel special. I wanted the real thing, love and all.

"No one will fall in love with you, Victoria. I mean look at you, you're not that pretty and a loser." I hear a voice say. I look up and it's Jenna, smirking at me like she is amused at what she is doing.

She continued, "You're fifteen, about to turn sixteen and still no one has even looked at you. Not one boy, not even a girl. Don't even count Liam because he is hideous," she says. "This is high school; you have to set priorities straight. You're about to be a junior after this summer and you need to realize that high school is almost over! Try to loosen up and wear something sexy, not skinny jeans and a band t-shirt with vans. That won't get you any guys."

I felt tears coming from my eyes, but I tried not to cry by biting my lip. I didn't want to show my sister that I was weak. I wanted to show her that I can be like her, perfect and amazing. I want to show her that I can do the great things that she can and I can leave high school with a proud look on her face, but I knew that I couldn't.

The thing is that I'm not like her. I'm not pretty. I'm not blond. I'm not short. I'm just not perfect.

I'm just Victoria Anne Lewis, brown hair, blue eyes, and a tall freak. I don't have cleavage like Jenna and I am far from perfect.

"You're wrong," I whispered. "I can find someone. I will find someone. It may not be today or tomorrow, but someday I will." I try to cheer myself up, but of course Jenna brought me down.

I hear her snort, "What a funny joke, Victoria. I have boys hanging on a thread and look at you. You're here about to cry, because I made you sad. It's pathetic. Be strong, Victoria. Guys like girls that are strong and not some weakling who cries at everything."

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take Jenna's hatred, negativity, or how rude she is towards me. I get up and stand in front of her. I made it so that our faces were one inch apart. I wanted Jenna to feel threatened and uncomfortable with my presence.

"You are such a bitch." I blurted out, without thinking.

"What?" Jenna says, with a stunned look on her face. I never cussed so that is probably why she was caught off guard, heck even I was caught off guard. I never cussed, ever. The fifteen years of my life the worst thing I could ever say to a person is that they are butt hole and even that isn't too bad.

I stare deep into her blue eyes and I want to tell her what I've always wanted to say ever since I was little girl, without all the cussing. "You're so mean! Seriously, I'm sick of you. Okay, yes I'm not pretty like you but who gives a crap! Life isn't all about looking perfect and being perfect,"

I paused, and then continued. "I can't believe I wanted you to love me. You know what? I don't care anymore. Don't talk to me or look at me, forever. I'm so glad that you're leaving for college tomorrow because I am sick and tired of your crap."

I pushed her out of the way and started to walk up the stairs but I stopped to her voice, "Come on, Vic, I was kidding." She never called me Vic. Jenna only did when she felt guilty or bad about something.

The last time she called me Vic was when I was ten years old, in middle school. I was in 6th grade and Jenna was in 8th grade. Jenna called me 'Little Miss. Tight Pants' in front of the whole school just because I asked her a question, "Why aren't you talking to me?"Everyone was laughing at me and even Jenna was. I could see the teachers chuckling and I felt like my whole world was crashing down.

My best friend, Liam, at the time tried to make me feel better, but that day I didn't care what anyone said, because I was in too much pain. I could never understand how Jenna could make me suffer like that.

After that day everyone called me that name. I would always run to the bathroom and cry by myself. I felt so alone and I didn't think that anyone could have a worst feeling like I did.

A week later, Jenna tried to make me feel better and she called me Vic.

She had so much sympathy in her voice that I actually believed her. I knew that if I would just believe her than all of this suffering would go away, but obviously it didn't.

"You can't take a joke?" Jenna asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"Not everything is a joke, Jenna. You really hurt me." I say, biting down on my lip.

Jenna laughs, "Wow, calm down Little Miss. Tight Pants."

I sigh, "You will never change and I hope you take what I said to heart, because I'm serious. I don't ever want to talk to you again."

"Vic." Jenna whispers.

I ignored her and kept walking. I didn't ever want to see her ever again. She wasn't my sister, she was a bad friend. And I didn't want a friend my whole life. I wanted a sister. I just wanted Jenna.

"That's all I wanted." I whispered.



Six Years Later

Ever since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to be noticed. I wanted to be daddy's little princess and mommy's little girl.

I wanted a big wedding where everything was white and flowers were everywhere. I already picked out what kind of dress I wanted when I was little girl. It was white and long where you couldn't see my feet. It has flower lace and little fake flowers on it. I wanted a long white veil that touched the ground when I walked down the aisle with my father hand in hand with me. My father lets me go and tells me to go to the love of my life. I just wanted a huge wedding that only 'princesses' got.

I wanted to be a princess. A real life princess, like the ones in European countries where they got anything they wanted and no one ignores them. Those kinds of princesses that find love easy, because they are so beautiful. I wanted to be like that, but my sister always told me I wasn't good enough.

Jenna always told me that she was Cinderella and I was the ugly step-sister. I was only six when she told me this but I didn't understand why she called me ugly. I felt like I was a disgrace to the family.

Growing up I was always skeptical of what I wore. Everything I wore my sister judged.

"It's not cute enough," she would always say. "Please change that, it's hideous."

I never told my mother and father about what she said to me, because I didn't want her to feel like I was a weakling who couldn't take her crap, but that was the problem because I was weak. I always cry when she puts me down.

I haven't been close to my sister for six years. When my sister left for college she barely came home. When she did come home it was for Christmas, she always gave me a present, but I stuffed it in my closet not bothering to open it. I didn't care to see what was in there. Everyone in my family tried to reason with me to open it, but I just couldn't. It gave me too much pain that I didn't want to see. I never opened a present from Jenna ever.

Before I graduated high school, I got a new baby sister, Daisy. I was so glad but I didn't want Jenna's influence to put on her. I want my baby sister to always feel pretty no matter what anyone says. I didn't have that support growing up but I want to give it to Daisy.

After I graduated high school, I wanted to start a new beginning in my life. I guess I could say that a new chapter wanted to be filled after I graduated. I went to school ten hours away and no one came to visit me and I didn't visit them after the first year I was in college. Not even for Christmas, which seems kind of harsh because it was a family holiday, but I just wasn't ready to see them, especially my sister.

I visited my family when I was in my second year of college. My sister wasn't home anymore, because she went to France for a modeling career. She said that it was for 'new beginnings' but I didn't believe her at all. I never believe anything she says anymore.

Now, I'm going back home to my hometown, Broadway, Virginia, four years after being away. I was only staying here for the summer to work at a bouquet store. Mrs. Phillips owned the store but she called me at the most unexpected time and asked me to come help out. I didn't want to come back, but I thought what the heck. What could go wrong? My sister wasn't going to be here, so it was okay. After the summer I was going back to Massachusetts to get my teaching degree.

I finally arrived in my hometown and I stopped at my parent's home. It looked the same, big yellow house with a white picket fence around it. It was a perfect house with the perfect family.

I laugh to myself. "What a joke." I say.

When I got to the door, I picked up the mat that says, 'Home Sweet Home' and found a key under it. I always forgot my key when I was leaving home for high school so, my parents always left it under the mat for me to get when I came home. I walked into the house and it smells like brown sugar and vanilla. It is my favorite smell in the whole world.

I walked into the kitchen seeing sugar cookies on the kitchen table. My mother knows that I love sugar cookies. It is my favorite cookie and the only cookie I would ever eat. I pick one up remembering the good times my mother and I baked cookies together.

One time, when I was eight, my mother and I made our own dough. We made way too much. So, I took some dough and threw it at my mom.

She gasped, "Are you serious?!"

I nodded, giggling and trying not to laugh so hard. The dough was stuck on her face. My mother rips it off her face and stuffs it on mine. I could remember her laughing so hard with me. We kept slipping on the floor and laughing at the same time.

I remember my father coming home so angry. My mom and I got some dough and poured it all over my father's head. I could not stop laughing and neither could my mom. My dad chased us all around the house and when he finally caught up to us upstairs we all fell down the stairs, laughing together. It was the best moments of my life where Jenna didn't ruin it.

That was the moment where I realized that my family was not ashamed of me like my sister said they were. I knew in my heart that they loved me somehow I just didn't want to admit it because I was afraid of Jenna.

"Victoria?" I hear a voice say.

I turn around, thinking it was my mother. Instead I see my sister, Jenna, with her blue eyes wide, "Is it really you?" She asked.

I couldn't move. I didn't know what to say. I was stunned; shocked even that she was standing in front of me. It was like my voice box was broken and I really wish it was.

"I can't believe it's you." She tried to pull me in for a hug but I pushed her away.

She hesitated but continued, "I really missed you." I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything, I was too shocked at the fact she looked different.

Her hair was blonder, she looked tanner and she had freckles on her face. Jenna's clothes were still the same though, white laced skirt with a pink blouse and white high heels.

It didn't compare at what I was wearing, which is a 'Hi, My name is Bill' sleeveless shirt with ripped up white skinny jeans and yellow vans. At first, I was skeptical about her but I wanted to see what she was going to say about my outfit.

Was she going to be the same? Is she going to put me down? I always asked the same questions in my head before she was going to say something and I knew that this time I wasn't going to let her put me down ever again.

"Welcome home." She said, smiling showing her bright white teeth and freckles.

"Oh Right, home." I whispered, barely letting her hear me.


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