"I'm going to die a lonely little virgin." I told my sister Alexa as she made lunch for her daughter Richelle.
"Kimmy!" She screeched. "Please, please, watch you mouth around Richy."
"All I said was virgin."
"Virgin!" Richy called, waving her arms around.
"Thank you Kim. Now she's gonna go say that to Beverly and he'll get all upset."
I laughed. The thought of my little six year old neice running up to my brother-in-law and saying virgin was pretty epic. His face would be the best part. I could just see it in my mind and it made me laugh even harder. "Now that I want to see."
Alexa rolled her eyes and gave Richelle her lunch. She walked over and sat on the couch by me. "Maybe you can be one of Priapus's virgins."
I furrowed my brows. "Priapus?"
She smacked her forehead with her palm. "You've read every romance novel on the face of the earth, and you have no clue who Priapus is."
I shook my head. That name didn't ring a bell. And it sounded like it was an ancient name they used back in the days of the Greeks and such.
"In short," Alexa started, "He's the god of lust and fertillity. Also known as the god of virginity by some."
"There's a god of virginity?"
She nodded. "Legend has it he's the son of Aphrodite."
The goddess of love and beauty. Made sense. "So what does he do? Just sit around his temple and be a virgin?"
Alexa laughed. "Oh please! You honestly think he's a virgin?"
Well, duh. Hence the name. Though I guess names could be deceiving.
"You're forgetting the lust and fertility part of his name. He's the furthest thing from a virgin. Some say his lust is so strong that he walks around constantly erect. Like, you remeber that book you read about the love slave who everytime a woman even came near him, he got hard? That's basically Priapus, only it's 24/7 for him."
Wow. That was suckish. "So I'm still confused. What do you mean by me being one of his virgins?"
"He takes women who are virgins, makes them his, then claims them at some point. Hence you would be his forever."
"Okay I know you enjoy that, but I really am not that desperate." And I honestly wasn't. Yes, it would be nice to have a boyfriend. Yes, it would be nice to have someone to hold close at night and care for. But I wasn't so desperate as to summon some unknown god and let him take me.
That just sounded painful.
And with him being erect 24/7, what would the possiblities of him being gentle be?
"Whatever. I don't believe in that crap anyways. I'd better get home."
"I thought you were going to stay and have dinner with Beverly and I tonight? I'm having him stop to get chinese on the way home. And also some grapes. I've been craving grapes."
"You crave the weirdest things when you're pregnant. speaking of, does he know yet?"
"Nope. I'm going to tell him tonight, so act surprised."
I rolled my eyes. I'd probably act more sarcastic that anything but oh well. She dealt with me and my sarcasm everyday so it was really nothing new to her. In some ways, Beverly and I were a lot alike. By sixteen he was the most sarcastic person on the planet. Now I was taking over his job.
And don't get me wrong, I love my brother-in-law, but that man is still sarcastic to this day and, well, lets just say he's not as good as he used to be.
"Hey, what would you do if Beverly was the son of Ahrodite?"
The look on Alexa's face told me everything. "I would never let any woman near him."
Later that night, after getting home from the chinese/movie night with Beverly and Alexa, I did a little research on that Praipus guy. I don't know why I really cared, I just thought it might be interesting or something. Turns out a lot of what Alexa said was true. On pretty much every website I looked at they all said the same thing. The man was sex crazy.
Kind of like me sister in high school.
I looked at website after website and when I finally crawled into bed, it was just past midnight. Of course, for me, this was normal. I was used to going to bed really late then waking up for schoola few hours later.
That wasn't what was weird about my night though. I had my dream again. I've been having this reaccuring dream since I was a kid. It used to scare me but now it just made me curious. In the dream I was there with a stranger. We were laying in a forest with only a purple blanket covering our bodies. We were happy in love until dark clouds rolled in and the man had to jump up and fight to protect me. He used to die in the dreams and that was what scared me so much. But now he didn't die. He won and took me into his arms for a passionate kiss.
The man was usually faceless but his body was so pretty I didn't really mind. At least until last night. Last night, he grew a face. And it wasn't the face I'd ever expected.
It was that of a Greek god.