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Penelope Smith and Tyler Rodd - One Day Together Forever.. I wrote in my notebook. I dreamed about him all day, all night. I daydreamed about us being a couple, doing things together, one day getting married, and then one day creating a family together. His blonde, curly hair caught my attention everywhere that I saw him in school. His blue eyes that really grasped you. His gorgeous body that I imagined close to mine.
My notebook was full of song lyrics that I've written. I've written so many about him. And why we can't be together.
I want him to know that I like him, wait, love him, but I couldn't face the embarrassment and the let down which would literally scar me for life. This isn't a school girl crush. This is serious love. I've had crushes before, they go away after a while, but I've felt like this since he first started working at my school 2 years ago. All this time, and he doesn't know anything. It's almost unbearable coming to school, seeing him 4 times a week, but I want to come in because I want to see him.
He's my History teacher. I never used to like History when I was 14, but now, 2 years on, I love it. Only because he speaks about it so passionately. I feel every word he says. I understand him. I feel like I'm the only one that does in our class. When kids mess around, I'm the only one left looking at him. He gives me this smile as if he knows I'm the only one that listens. It's a smile that goes more to one side than the other. It's a smile that gets my heart racing 100mph.
I close up my notebook and put it away in one of my drawers. I look around my bedroom. I feel upset. I want him to know so badly! I often have dreams where I tell him and he feels exactly the same. He'll come up to me and kiss me in front of everyone and we'll be together as a couple. In others, I'd tell him and he'd be the complete opposite. He'd push me away, he'd make me feel like crap.
But that wasn't what he was like. He was sweet, caring, funny, absolutely gorgeous and so smart. All my friends, they don't know that I'm in love with him, say he should model for Diesel and men's fragrances. I agree, but they don't find him interesting like me. They think he's old. I don't think 27 is old. Surely age doesn't matter when you're in love with someone? I try to break my thoughts because I start to get really teary now.
The bell rings for first lesson. I make my way to History. I'm wearing a new lipgloss to try to attract attention from Tyler. I guess I shouldn't call him that. All students have to call him Mr Rodd. I don't know why I thought I was so special. Because obviously I wasn't if he didn't even notice me. I walked to History with all these confusing thoughts chasing around in my head. I walked along the hallway and noticed him greeting students as they walked in. It was my turn next.
"Good morning Penelope." He gave me that smile again. I was so sure he didn't give that smile to any of the other girls. I opened my eyes up and tried to give him a flirty smile without being too risqué. I walked in the classroom and sat down at my desk.
Once he began talking, I was completely transfixed. His husky voice was so hard not to listen to! I had second thoughts on telling him about my secret. Maybe the outcome would be positive. It's not like I'll know the answer by just wondering about it. Okay, I'm going to ask him. I'll talk to him at his car tonight after school.