It had been four days since Tyler was here. I ignored him as much as I could after we committed adultery. I thought of him over and over. I wanted him to be aware of my absence by leaving small notes for him of my where abouts. I made sure that I was busy and wasn’t home until Chris got back from work or until Mum got home from her poker games and visiting dad. In the end I had no idea what he had been doing. I wanted to give myself space from all socializing and awkwardness. I wanted to breathe a little and explore my mind. I did things that I didn’t need to. I bought new furniture and had the delivery guys bring them in. I went to the library and read books. I went to a café and sat there for half a day, just admiring the view. I even went shopping for myself. I tried to put Tyler in the back of my mind but I couldn’t. I could feel myself choosing between my life and his. I didn’t want to leave. I needed to stay. I didn’t want to get involved with Tyler. I wanted this to end.
We were nothing.