My bed was soft, and warm. It was nice to sit in my bed with the covers pulled up to my ears. The blanked soaked up my salty tears.� The humilliation was sinking in. I couln't live like this. How could i have told her? She's my teacher. Not my friend. Tearchers aren't aloud o be friends with students. I felt my whole life caving in. This was the end of the road for me. I couldn't take it anymore.
"Hey, get down here! Your father braught home chicken!" She was talking to me. Why didn't she say, "Lilly"? She never used my name. Sometimes i forgot i even had a name. The air was cold as i slipped out of my covers. I wanted to tell her i wasn't hungry, but i didn't want to speak to her. The walk down the stairs was long. Everystep getting my farther and farther away from my safety. The TV was on as i passed the living room where my father was wathching baseball. The kitchen smelled of puke. It was a mix of chicken and hatered. My mother hated our family but she said she wouldn't give up on it because if she did it would ruin her. so, i was stuck with her. I slid around the corner into the kitchen. She saw me. "You look like shit." Her voice was cold. Not simpathy. "What, are you stupid get some food and go back to your cave." She was staring at me as i put a few strips of shicken on a plate. "My God! Must i do it for you?" She snatched the plate out of my hands and pushed me onto the floor, as she put a big glob of potatoes and green beens on the plate, right ontop of the chicken. She sat it on the counter and i stood, grabbed the plate, and scurried off to my room.
She was right, my room was a cave. It was dark. The walls painted a deep burgandy and all the furnashings were black. I liked it though. It was me. I sat the plate of food on my nightside table and walked into my bathroom. My eyeliner was running down my face. I hadn't even noticed i was crying. I whiped the tears away and splashed cold water on my face. Someone was at the door. There was a tap. My Dad.
The door cracked open. "Lilly? Sweetie, she didn't mean to upset you." My dad was always trying to stand up for her. Make me feel better. He never treated me the way my mom did. To him it wasn't right. "Lilly? Come out here honey." I walked out into my room where my fathers voice rang like church bells. He was my saving grace. He held his arms out for me and i took his offer for a hug."Darling i love you, but you've got to get better at doing as she says." Sobs of tears were falling on his shirt from my face.
"I don't even know what i did." He held me tighter as my words seaped out. He knew. "I can't take it anymore. It used to not be like this." My mother used to be the dream mom. She was perfect. She did my hair for school and took me shopping. She tucked me in at night and woke me at sun rise. but something changed. "I don't know what has happened to her, but i can't..." My voice trailed off as she stepped into my doorway. My father jumped and pushed me away. It was unacceptable for hime to be interacting with me in such a way. My mothers eyes grew angry.
She moved closer to me and with one swift movement she hit me. Right in the face. My lip bled. My heart stopped momentarily. My dad bowed his head. "You Stupid little girl! Never touch your father again! What you think he loves you?" She was in my face. Her breath smelled of garlic. "Well?" I shook my head "No". If he loved me he would save me from her.
She eventually left and again i sat crying in my bed. I took ou the notepad from my bedside table and grabbed a pen. This was more than i could take, and i was about to tell that to the world.