It is the month of October. Damn, I only have a pen to write
with. I asked the guard for a pencil, but she just ignored me. Oh
On the first day of the month of October, Damn, too wordy. Let me start again.
October 1st, Duh.
My story begins in my hometown, Osceola, Wisconsin. My name is Kailee Marie Jensen. This is half the story of why I am right now in Juvie. Enjoy.
Homecoming week had at last come to an end. Wait, I had enjoyed the hell out of Homecoming week, so that wasn't the best way to phrase it. BUT, I WAS paranoid all damn week because of Austin. (The current B.F.)
Well, anyway, he was sick. A l l w e e k.
On Friday I went to my cousin's house. Her name's Sarah and she's also my best friend. Well, Sarah was driving her dad's car and got in trouble-nothavinga license-but something like that never stopped either one of us from doing what we wanted, which, I guess, is sort of why I'm here in Juvie. Anyway, as we passed the school bus that Austin's younger sister Miranda was on, she shouted out the window, and yelled to me. "Kailee!! Hi!! Austin is sick!! He won't be making it to your dance...I'm sorry!!" She was a real sweet kid, but what she said really burned me.
All I wanted a simple dance with my boyfriend, and maybe our first kiss-seeing as we had been together for four entire months, to the day, when the dance was going to take place. Ahh, our four month anniversary....
I got onto my bus and rode home to Sarah's. I spent the night, and cried to sleep. Saturday came around and I had only my knowledge of a terrible night upcoming.
It was there that I saw an old friend--TJ. I asked him to slow dance with me. He did. We admit our feelings for each other...
TJ told me, "Come with me, alone." I at first couldn't understand what he was implying. I followed him until we came over to the area of the front doors. TJ put his mouth to my ear and whispered,
"Baby you don't know how much I would love to fuck you right now. Go in with me Kailee, let me show you what real love is." His hot breath seemed to sting me as it hit my neck. The goose-bumps rose, as my anger did too.
I backed up from his arms and hissed, "No, I like you, but I will never do anything like this--not to you." He grabbed my arm and fiercely pulled me away into the Janitor's closet by the front doors--and pushed me inside.
He slapped me and held me down, taking off my clothes. He took off his pants. TJ picked me up from my hips and bent me over. Before I knew it, his nails dug deep into my skin and I heard his loud moan, and knew he was done.
I had screamed, but I was left in silence with my pursuer; for the music was playing so loud there was no one to hear my cries for help. TJ's nails had made me bleed. He looked at me and said,
"You'll say we were racing, and you slipped in your high-heels
and got cut. You hear me!?"
I nodded in agreement, worried, and scared shitless. Huh. So my night went from shit, to what-the-hell. My friend Abby ran up to me in a shock.
"Kailee what happened?? Oh my God, we need to take you to the hospital! You're bleeding!"
I slapped her across the face for being a dumb bitch.
"No, dumb-shit, I'm just standing here PEEING out of my arm. Get your fucking purse and get the first-aid kit."
"Okay!" she smiled back, as retarded as she was.
That night, the story was how I was racing the guy I danced with to the punchbowl, slipped, and cut my arm on the side of the wall. Everyone believed it, but I knew the truth and couldn't tell. What did I do for this to happen...?
Losing my virginity was something I once had been excited for, but now that I lost it to someone by rape--.....It was...hurtful. This was absolutely not the plan I expected to have for my first time having sex.
That night when I got home I felt so dead, so depressed, that I went into the cleaning closet in the hallway, and grabbed the bleach.
I was an "emo" girl at this time--too emotional. So this was unfortunate for me. Why? Because I wanted to die more than anything, even beforehand, but I never attempted until now.
I made half a glass of water, and poured in bleach. I picked up my "Peach" flavoring packet and opened it, poured it in, and began to drink, letting it burn my throat slowly. I lied down on my bed and rested, for this would be my final slumber.