*Please leave comments, this is my first novel and I would like to know how I'm doing, thankyou so much*
Anyway here goes;
I couldn't believe I would never see him again, my sweet Elijah. I would never see his smile again, hear his laugh or see him hold our baby for the first time. It had been almost a month, each day no better than the one previous or the next. The days became a blur as I aimlessly stumbled through the hours praying for relief.
The haunting memory still etched in my mind as I was told of his death, I was oblivious, the hours previous I had sat at home waiting on his return from a weekend away, I couldn't wait to wrap my arms around his masculine frame, make love to the man I couldn't bare to be without. Tears descended down my cheeks as I remembered him in every sense, I needed him now more than ever.
Days after his death I had discovered I was carrying his child, I didn't know how to feel about the baby all I knew was that I loved it already, it was a piece of Elijah that I would protect with my life and love with everything I possessed. I gently placed a hand to my abdomen, I missed him so much, how could I ever forget him.
My family had been so supportive, pitching in wherever they could, they ran errands and helped me prepare his funeral. Nobody knew about our baby, not even Elijah got the chance to know. How I wish I could have told him of our upcoming responsibility, he would have been so happy.
''Aurelia'' my mum gently spoke, her voice drawing me out of my self-preserved trance ''Yes'' I whispered as I shuffled from the sitting position ''How are you feeling?'' she said softly, I couldn't say anything, there were no words for my emotion...my grief. As I started for the door I pressed a gentle hand to my mums shoulder to reassure her that I had taken in her kind words, her regard for my health. I just couldn't face talking about it yet, the realisation just hadn't set in. I closed the oak door which stood firmly at the entrance of my family home, I strode to my car in a numb haze, I felt so alone.
The house me and Elijah once shared felt so empty, so scarce. I waited for him to greet me, embrace my fragile frame, kiss my neck and whisper I love you through my brunette curls. But in my heart I knew that would never happen, he was not coming back he was gone forever. The memory's came back fast and thick leaving me breathless and weak. As I reached the kitchen, it almost seemed my lungs collasped, I felt so fragile so breathless. The realisation had just hit me, he was gone. How would I cope? How could I raise this baby without its dad but I knew I had too, it wasn't about me anymore. This baby needed me know more than ever.
I ran myself a boiling bath, praying the water would wash away my pain and sorrow, cleansemy aching skin. I looked down and between my hips there was an evident raise, my baby was growing.It felt amazing to know I had a part of Elijah within me. I sank low into the water drowning the world out. Tears began to fall from my pallid cheeks as I washed my hair, I missed him so much.
I pulled on one of Elijah's old shirts, the remnants of his aftershave clung to it's fibres, I inhaled deeply taking in all I could. The bathroom tiles were cold underfoot as I stared at the gaunt figure reflected in the mirror, my emerald eyes looked sullen, my chocolate curls looked lifeless as they tumbled down my waist.I lookedso tired, so restless. I crumpled onto the bed after calling and making an appointment about the baby in two days time, I needed to know how far along I was and if it was healthy. I hoped sleep would envelope me quickly so I wouldn't have to endure this pain.