Jonathon smiled at Lizzie as she lay on the grass next to him a week later. Ever spare moment that he’d had between his job at the restaurant and college had been spent with Lizzie. He glanced at her. She already looked better than she had a week ago. That could be because she had stayed in Justin’s old room and gotten a bunch of sunshine and fresh air. He studied her closer. She looked happier than he’d seen her since they’d dated.

            He smiled and lay back closing his eyes. She’s OK. Everything’s going well.

♠

            Lizzie looked over at Jonathon and smiled. He looked so adorable when he was sleeping, or tying to sleep, she amended as he looked into her eyes. “Hey,” he said his voice husky from sleep.

            She shivered unintentionally. “Hey, yourself. Did you have a nice nap, señor?” she teased.

            Jonathon squinted at her as the sun blinded him. “Are you being rude?”

            “No, never,” Lizzie said letting a smile break through her “seriousness.”

            He grabbed her before she could get away. “Are you making fun of me?” he growled.

            Lizzie froze. That was the same tone Vincent had used when she’d done something he didn’t like. She totally missed the smile on Jonathon’s face. Lizzie stiffened instinctively and said, “I’m sorry, Jonathon.”

            “Hey, hey. When did we go back to ‘Jonathon?’” he asked confused by the sudden change.

            “I went too far. I’m sorry. Please let me go,” she said meekly.

            Jonathon let her go shocked. What had happened? They were having so much fun.

            “I-I have to go,” Lizzie said, getting up and bolting, before Jonathon could form a reply. 

            He watched dejectedly as she raced away from him. What had gone wrong?

♠

            Lizzie stopped by a tree and looked back at Jonathon. He looked so dejected that she almost went back. Then she remembered what had happened before. She couldn’t even differentiate between Vincent and Jonathon at that moment. Then she knew…It was useless to try and have anything with Jonathon. She couldn’t do it. Memories engulfed her, but one overpowered the others. She remembered it like it was yesterday. Vincent had come through the door and seemed upset. She’d tried to get him to talk about it, but he wouldn’t. Finally, he got so upset that he’d cut her back. That was the last straw for Lizzie. But look where it’d gotten her. The same situation with a descent guy…How was she to know that Jonathon had changed? Lizzie ran towards Jonathon’s apartment building. She had to get her stuff now. She couldn’t keep living there. Her tears threatened to overwhelm her, but she kept them at bay. There was NO way that Elizabeth Martin would shed anymore tears for a guy. He doesn’t deserve them anyways, she told herself. Maybe he was horsing around….You didn’t even give him a chance…She shushed the voice and said, “You learn to not give ‘chances.’”

♠

            Jonathon walked into his apartment and heard rustling in Lizzie’s-Justin’s bedroom. He walked to the door and saw Lizzie scooping things into a suitcase. “Liz?” he asked hesitantly.

            Lizzie froze and reminded him of a deer caught in the headlights. She turned and looked at him, cringing.

            Do I scare her? Is she really scared of me? “Uh…what happened at the park? Did I do something wrong?” he asked, feeling like he was five.

            Lizzie looked shocked at the suggestion but answered as if on “automatic.” “No. I did something wrong,” she said then went back to packing.

            He walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. “Lizzie,” he said turning her to face him. “If you really want to leave…I’m OK with that.” Liar! His head taunted him. You don’t want her to leave. Shut up! Jonathon ordered his mind…and his heart. “But really, did I do something? Did it bring up a bad memory or something?”

            The look in Jonathon’s eyes undid Lizzie’s composure. She wept into his shirt. He rocked her back and forth, making her cry harder.  He doesn’t need you screwing up his life…Look what you did to him…What kind of friend are you? Lizzie cried harder as she thought about what she had to do. She pushed Jonathon away and said, “I’m leaving…It’s not you…it’s me.”

            “Is that a break-up line?” Jonathon asked in disbelief.

            “How can it be? We’re just friends,” she said trying to stop her tears.

            “You know, you could have just got rid of me the way you did three years ago,” Jonathon lashed out hurt clouding his good judgment.

            Elizabeth gasped in pain. “I can not believe you just said that!”

            “Well, it’s the truth! You brush off people when they get to close. Why? All they want to do is help you…All I want to do is help you,” he stressed. 

            Elizabeth hardened her heart and said, “Maybe so, but this is my decision…not yours or anyone else’s. Got it?!”

            “I got it,” Jonathon said backing out of the room. “Get out!” he said pointing to the door.

            “You read my mind,” Lizzie said grabbing her bag and running past him, praying that he couldn’t see the tears.

♠

            As soon as Lizzie was gone, Jonathon sank to the floor putting his hands over his eyes and pushing. He would not cry. This was ridiculous. You don’t even care about her, he told himself. His heart piped up and said, who the heck are you talking about? You so care about her…You l-o-v-e her! Shut up! He thought angrily. HE let his head fall back against the wall. That’s just the way my life goes, he thought depressed.