I walked out of the bathroom running a hand through my hair. I can do this; I can talk to him about her. "Dinner is ready, Boys!" I watched as Bob and Kellan came up the stairs with a squirming baby in their hands.
"Everyone's ready to eat." Kellan smiled kissing my head as we walked into the dining room.
"I'll go make her a bottle." I walked into the front room to grab the diaper bag. I pulled out a bottle and the box of formula. I put the burp rag over my shoulder and grabbed a bib. I walked into the kitchen pulling out the water filter out of the fridge.
"I know this is hard for you." Maddy said quietly as I put the formula into the bottle before pouring in the water. "You have to be strong now Charlotte. You have a baby to care for. You have to be her rock now. You have no other choice." I looked up at her as I put the bottle into the microwave. "It's going to be hard but you have to out her first."
"I'll always put her first. She's my little girl." She gave me a smile.
"I know, Sweetheart. But if anything happens between you and Kellan." I cut her off.
"Kellan will always be her father no matter what happens between us. I could never take that away from her. It wouldn't be right." I pulled the bottle out as the microwave beeped.
"You'll be a great mother, Charlotte." She rubbed my back supportively as I tested the heat of the milk. "Jamie is lucky to have you." I smiled weakly at her. She picked up the food and took it out to the dining room as I heard a baby cry.
"Mommy's coming." I called as I put the nipple onto the bottle and walked back in. I sat down pulling the Velcro on the bib. Kellan handed me her as her face scrunched up and she started to full on cry. "Calm down, Baby." I put the bottle to her mouth as Kellan made me a plate of food. Jamie put her hand on the bottle as she suckled away snuggling her butt into me. "There we go. Are you happy now?" She stared at me as she put her hand over mine that was holding the bottle.
"You want some potatoes?" Kellan asked me as Bob started to pass out the food.
"Yes please." I said stroking Jamie's hair with my finger.
"So have you planned out the nursery yet?" Maddy asked as I took a bite of my vegetables.
"We were going to go shopping tomorrow for it." Kellan said taking a sip of his soda. "We were hoping you'd be able to watch Jamie while we go. It'd be easier on us." Maddy smiled at him.
"It'd be quicker too if she wasn't there." I shrugged picking up my drink.
"I'll be happy to watch her. Some Granny Jamie time, it'll be nice. Maybe I'll even do a little showing for her." Her face brightened. She used to watch Patch every day but he was younger, but when Mia and Elliot moved she lost her day time job. I know she loves her Grandbabies and it will do her good.
"We can drop her off at 9." I put the bottle on the table putting the burp cloth on my shoulder as I laid Jamie on my shoulder. "I'll pump a bottle. The doctor wants us to alternate on formula and breast milk." Maddy nodded as Bob pulled a face.
"Ella was on the same diet as a baby. I know the routine. But I'm sure you'll give me her schedule as well." I smiled at her. She knows me too well. I patted Jamie's back
"We won't be long. I have an idea on what I want. I was looking at some last night at a late night feeding. I got an idea of what it will look like. It's a beautiful room." I smiled at her taking another sip of my drink as Jamie burped. She moved on my shoulder leaning her face on her hands. I rubbed her back as she burped again before yawning.
"Just like her Daddy." Bob laughed as he took a bite of his food. I smiled at him as Jamie moved to get comfortable before falling asleep. I took another bite on my streak before wiping my mouth and laying my cheek on Jamie's head.
"Excited to go back to work, Kellan?" Maddy asked clearing her throat to make conversation. Kellan took a sip of his drink before putting it down again.
"Yeah I did miss it." He smiled at him. "But it was nice to have a break, to be with my girls." I played with the little strains of hair on Jamie's neck. "But it'll be nice to be back."
"I can imagine." Maddy smiled at him as I stayed silent. "Just remember to be careful now. You have a baby to think of." Kellan nodded.
"I know Mom. I'm always careful." She gave him a skeptical look. "Okay so maybe I wasn't the safest the last time. I have more to think about now, Mom. I have to do this for myself." She nodded.
"I know Baby, but you're still my baby and I want to keep you safe." He smiled at her. She took a deep breath.
"I know Mom." She smiled at me.
"Did you hear Mia and Elliot are coming up for a couple days?" I shook my head. I saw I had an e-mail from her, but I just didn't have the chance to read it. "She just got it finalized. They are coming to meet the little baby." She smiled at Jamie as she gave a little snore.
"It will be nice to see them. I miss little Patch." I smiled still rubbing little circles on Jamie's warm neck. Maddy nodded.
"I do miss them a whole lot." She sighed as everyone else finished off their dinner. I just couldn't stomach the rest after my couple bites. "You want me to hold her so you can finish?" I shook my head as we started to clean up the plates.
"No, I'm not hungry." I smiled weakly. Maddy put her hand on my shoulder staring at me in concern. "I'm just tired. Jetlag and a newborn." I shrugged at her.
"Oh of course! I forgot you two just flew in! Go, go. I'll see you three in the morning." I smiled at her as I picked up the diaper bag. "Remember what we talked about, Charlotte."
"I know Maddy. I'll see you in the morning." I sighed kissing her cheek as I got Jamie's car seat and set her in. She gave a cry and a whimper. "Shhh we're going home baby. Mommy's right here." I tucked her ducky blanket in with her and pulled a blanket out of the diaper bag to make her comfortable.
"I put most of what you had in your apartment into your car." Bob said walking into the room with the keys to my car. "Your furniture is in the garage till we figure out what to do with it." He smiled kissing my head. "I'm sure you two can figure that out at another time. It's okay where it is now."
"Thank you." He smiled at me rubbing the back of my neck.
"We left a couple boxes here as well; you can go through them tomorrow." I picked up Jamie's car seat. Kellan walked into the room as Bob nodded at me.
"Take my truck Char; I'll drive the car so you can be with Jamie." I nodded at him as he handed me the keys to his truck. "You okay, Baby?" He asked me when I didn't answer.
"Yeah, let's get going." I smiled at him as I walked out the door to the truck. Kellan ran off me.
"Charlotte!" I turned to look at him as he put his hand on my shoulder. "What is wrong? What happened?" I shook my head.
"I'm just tired." He sighed staring at me.
"I know you, Baby." He took my face into his hands pressing his lips to my forehead. "What's haunting that pretty little mind?" I closed my eyes shaking my head.
"I'm fine, Kellan. Really, I am." He sighed.
"You got to talk to me now, Baby." He rubbed the back of my neck in comfort. "I'm here for you to talk." I nodded.
"I know." He smiled at me. "I really want to just take a nice nap before Jamie wakes up again." He nodded at me.
"Come on, it's only a short ride." I put Jamie in the back of his truck as Kellan told me how to get back to the house. "I'll meet you there." He kissed me before pulling back again. "Nothing is as ever as bad as it seems." He whispered before walking to my car. I took a deep breath before getting into the truck and putting my forehead against the sterling wheel……
We finished shopping for the nursery with enough time for me to pick up Jamie before dropping Kellan off at the Fire House. "Come in." He smiled at me as I turned off the truck. We were able to get all the furniture ordered and we got all the sheets and decorations for her room. I turned off the truck and looked at him.
"I should get this back to the house." He nodded.
"Will wanted to see Jamie, but if you don't want to come in. Baby it's okay. He'll understand." I shook my head.
"I'll come in." He smiled at me grabbing his bag off the floor. I picked up Jamie's car seat out of the back. "Your Daddy is going to be the death of me." I smiled at her as we walked into the Fire House. We could hear noise coming from the dining room meaning the guys were eating lunch.
"Hey! What is with this racket?" Kellan called out to the room making them laugh.
"Welcome back!" I heard Will call as we walked into the room. "How was your vacation?"
"I brought my ass in here and you won't even say hi to me?" I laughed at him making him look up from his food.
"Charlotte!" He looked down at my hands before dropping his food. "Let me see that little baby." He walked over to me as I put the car seat on the table pulling out a bottle and handing it to Kellan for him to heat up. "Let me see this beauty." He smiled taking the straps off and lifting Jamie up into his arms. The other guys started to laugh as Jamie started to cry. "Aw, I'm sorry." He pouted at her.
"She's just hungry." I looked over to see one of the firefighters staring at me as I answered some of Will's questions.
"She's precious. You are one lucky man to have these two girls." He smiled at Kellan as he walked back in with Jamie's bottle.
"Yeah." He was distracted. I put my hand on his arm as he gave the bottle to Will who instantly put it in Jamie's mouth.
"You okay?" He nodded at me.
"Kellan!" A voice screamed making the entire room fall silent. "What the hell is going on?" I looked over as a very pissed looking women standing with her arms crossed as she glared at me.
"Kimmy." Oh no.