“Hey.” I smiled at him weakly. I rubbed my hands on my pants. I’m so nervous my palms are sweating beyond belief.
“We can talk in my room, if you want.” He said the last part quickly. I nodded putting my arm around his waist, showing him it’s okay. I’m still broken, but I’m healing. I need Tucker to heal now. Now, I just need him. We walked down stairs and I walked into his room so used to the action. I looked back as the corners of his mouth turned up. I sat on his bed looking around his messy room.
“We’ll have to clean this up.” I moved a shirt off the bed. Tucker sat next to me. I looked up at his face. He didn’t know what to say. “How’s school?” I asked him leaning back on his pillows.
“It’s alright. Almost done.” He copied me.
“How’s football?” He looked at me as I played with my engagement ring.
“It’s the only thing keeping me sane right now.” I nodded. “I miss you.” He sighed looking up at the ceiling. I curled up on his side.
“I’m sorry.” He shook his head holding me close to him.
“It’s not your fault. You were hurting.” He stroked my hair.
“You were hurting too but I didn’t help you.” He pulled my chin up with his finger.
“You helped me. You let me hold you. You let me help you. That’s what helped me. I was helping you.” I shook my head.
“I don’t feel like I helped you at all.” He kissed me.
“But you did.” I ran my fingers over his chest as he both were quiet listening to the sounds of the others breathing.
“Do you still want to be engaged?” I asked him quietly. “Or was that just for Chloe?” He took a deep breath.
“Partly yes. I did ask you then for her. So we can be a family.” I looked down. I knew I would dread the answer. “But now, now it’s for us. Now I want to get married.” He pressed his lips to my forehead. “I want to see you walk down aisle in white on your daddy’s arm.” I looked up at him.
“Do you really….” He nodded.
“I don’t want what happened to tare us apart. I want it to bring us closer.” I kissed him.
“Marry me then.” He blinked confused.
“We will, I was thinking-”
“No, marry me.” I kissed him harder. “Marry me now. Let’s go to city hall.” He pulled back.
“You want to get married now?” I nodded. “Why?”
“I just, it feels right. I mean doesn’t it? Like Chloe wanted us to be together.” He ran a hand down my face as the tears started to form. “I just want everything to be normal again. I want to be happy.”
“Shhh it’s okay.” I couldn’t help the tears as they fell onto his chest.
“I want everything to go back to normal. I need this.” Tucker held my face kissing me.
“You never let me talk.” He rubbed the tears away. “We can do it. But not right now. Not yet.” I opened my mouth. “Let me finish.” He kissed me gently. “I can’t let you do it on a whim. I want to have your dad there. I want him to walk you down that aisle.”
“You don’t want to…” He shook his head running his fingers gently over my skin.
“I want to, you have no idea how much, I love you Carson. But if you don’t have your Dad there I know you’ll regret it.” He sighed. “I can’t have you regret it.” I nodded. I can handle this. Deep breathes. “Do you understand?” I nodded putting my face down on his chest.
“I got it.” I closed my eyes.
“What are we waiting for then?” I opened my eyes to look at him.
“What do you mean?” He sat up pulling me with him.
“Let’s go talk to your Dad.” He put me down on the bed grabbing his keys. I followed him waving to Nic, Ben, and Mason as we left. He kept my hand in his the whole ride to my house.
“Sarah? Dad?” I heard movement in the kitchen.
“In here sweetheart. Do you want some food?” She asked as I walked in. Sarah pulled out another bowl as she saw Tucker. “Hello Honey.” She smiled at him. Dad looked at me as I pulled up the sleeves to my stolen hoodie.
“We need to talk to you two.” Tucker said sitting down thanking Sarah from the chili. It’s one of my favorites. It has noodles in it so it’s a filling meal. I took a bite before getting the cheese.
“How can we help you?” Dad asked putting cereal down for JJ, who I sat away from.
“Well, we want to talk about the wedding.” He looked at my bandaged wrists before looking back at my father.
“What about it?” He asked carefully.
“I want to get married now.” Sarah dropped the spoon into the sink making me jump.
“Now? Like, right now?” She asked in shock sitting down.
“I was to go to city hall and get married.” Dad leaned back and rubbed a hand on his shaven hair.
“Have you thought this threw Carson? I mean really thought it through? You’re 18! You have your whole life ahead of you.” I crossed my arms.
“I want this Dad. No, I need this. I need to know everything is going to be okay. That I can get through this.”
“Oh and going to get married is going to make it all better?” He asked copying my pose.
“No! I just need this Daddy! I’m 18 and can make my own choices!” He laughed.
“You think getting married is going to fix ya’? I doubt it! You’re 18, live a little.” I pushed my food away.
“I know my age!” Tucker sat looking back and forth between the two of us. Sarah just stared at me.
“Oh really? Well you didn’t this morning!” I stopped short. How could he say that? I shook my head and ran up the stair slamming the door behind me. Saint looked up from my bed as I dropped down onto my pillows and cried. How could my own father say something like that? Saint whimpered moving to lie across my bad in comfort……
“You’re unbelievable!” Sarah snapped at him as JJ started to cry. Dad put his head on the table.
“I’m sorry…” Tucker stood up.
“I can’t believe you would say something to her like that. You’re her hero and you just knocked her down for crying over the loss of her child.” He shook his. “I had respect in you. Now I’m not sure anymore.” He turned to go up the stairs.
“Let me go. I need to make this right.” Dad stood up and put his hand on Tucker’s shoulder. “You got guts kid.” He walked up to my room knocking on the door. “Carson?” I didn’t answer. I just pushed my head in farther to my new clean sheets Sarah must have changed when I was out. “Can I come in?” Saint moved over to my side cuddling up to it. My good boy. I heard the door open and the bed dip as someone sat next to me. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.
“Go away.” I muttered holding the pillow tighter to me.
“I can’t take back what I said but I was just angry and surprised. I don’t mean it…” He rubbed my back.
“You sounded liked you meant it.” I didn’t move, my face was still shoved into the pillow as Saint put his head on my shoulder staring at Dad.
“I know and you don’t understand how much I really regret it. I love you and you have to understand I just got you back. I don’t want to lose you yet.” I pulled my head out of the pillow to look at him. “I just got my baby back and now Tucker is coming in and taking you away from me.”
“Daddy, Tucker isn’t taking me from you.” He shook head rubbing at his hair again.
“I know, but it feels like it. You want to get married. Once you do you wouldn’t be my little girl anymore.” I sat up and looked at him. I could see him fighting the emotion.
“I’ll always be your little girl Daddy. I’ll just be Tucker’s wife too. Just because I’m going doesn’t mean that I’m not still here for you. I’ll always be your little girl. Till the day that I die.” I hugged him.
“I know, It’s just so hard to let go.” I kissed his cheek.
“I love you Daddy. I just need this right now. You already said yes to Tucker to marry me, now I need you to let me marry him. For me.” He sighed holding me tighter.
“I’ll call the Justice of the Peace. I know him. I can get you a time.” I smiled.
“You’ll walk me down, right Daddy?” He kissed my head smiling.
“For you baby, I’ll do anything.” I laid my head on his shoulder. “But you do know you’re going to have to have another wedding so the family can be there.” I nodded.
“I know.” The door knocked. We both looked over at Tucker.
“Hey.” He smiled walking in. “All made up now?” Dad nodded.
“I guess Carson is right. I was just being a grumpy old man.” He kissed my head. “Did you set a date?”
“I was thinking the day of Prom. Seniors get the whole day off. We can go in the morning and get to go to Prom as Husband and Wife.” Tucker said sitting down petting Saint who showed his belly.
“I’ll tell them that. We’ll be there. Are your parents going Tucker?” He shrugged.
“Haven’t asked them yet.” Dad stood up.
“Well I’ll leave you two alone.” He walked towards the door. “Tucker?” Tucker looked at him.
“Welcome to the family.” He smiled before walking out closing the door behind him.